Bennyboy's Journal - Archives
1.Grace Potter and the Nocturnals; Multi instrumentalist. Plays the B3,a flying Vee and sings like an angel. How cool is that? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u8FPwNDOd_I
With joe Satriani, Cortez The Killer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paeNnR33i5Q
2.Carolyn Wonderland! Sings like Aretha and Janis on a ten day bourbon soaked bender and plays the slide guitar like a Mother fucker! http://www.carolynwonderland.com /
Everybody thinks she's a bad girl http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=32ovlpQ_F4k...
A song for Molly Ivins http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm1WGJvhkdo
3. Allie Kral from Cormeal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t3Vh9IGcbO8 (Nothing like a bluegrass Talking Heads cover!)
and the show up on the archive here is incredible! http://www.cornmealinthekitchen.com / (I was there)
(with a great band, Railroad Earth): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zMAfLhzqLH8 (the fiddle duet with Tim Carbone is just too good!)
4. Ann Marie Calhoun http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHSnE8raC0U (Doing the Phish song, Stash)
and with Widespread Panic http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_fwgkpghtM...
5. Theresa Andersson: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0T5aySzkYiI
At Lousiana Music Factory http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ww5sMfP8UtE
This lady does it all too, i ahve seen her do fidle feedback jams at 10 AM and jam with everyone in new Orleans.
I think right now is a very special time in the world. now we have the females that are very accomplished rock musicians. They can get down with anyone. There are a ton more too...The Abalone Dots. Ani Di Franco (who is an awesome guitar player), the Dixie Chicks too. used to be that girls were singers but now they can melt your face. Bonnie Raitt, Joni Mitchell (in a very different way) and Joan jett are probably the ones that have the most credit due to them. they were the first women i ever saw getting down on an insturment.
Order a beer (Fat Tire, all they got) and sit at the bar. I know a ton of people here so everything is going great. This guy whom I have met before, but not talked to much, jumps in our conversation. the convo slowly turns to marijuana legalization. Everyone in the conversation agrees, it should be legalized. This big guy, the one from above, tells me he's dying to get loaded. I tell him I don't have any stash, but I offfer him a cookie. (if find that eating it is better for me, cuts down on use,and is MUCH less expensive). He thanks me and buys me a beer. We are now the best of friends.
After the music starts, I go outside to hang with the smokers and all, and this guy is out there. He is calling Obama Nigger, is telling evryone about Obama being a socialist, and how Obama is taking torture away as a tool of war etc. I correct him by saying that actually Obama is kind of pissing us off on the left due his capitualting to the Bush regime on torture. Again with the Nigger comment.
Now this is a guy that twenty minutes before, I found out is a HUGE Dylan freak. knows all the word to every song, even the newest release. He digs the Dead, Dylan,CSNY etc... and all these lefty bands. To say that I was surprised to hear him drop the N word and have this type of opinion was mindblowing really.
After I correct him on the torture thing he is pretty sweet, Buys me another beer and we are all good. I go back to listen to the music, a guy named Daniel Castro (used to be Danny but....). He is out of SF and is one hot ass player on the guitar. great band too, keys...lots of fun.
Towards the end of his set, he says "Now we are going to play like the Grateful Dead' then goes into a kind of spacey jam. Not much really. Then he goes on to diss the Dead and then tells THE Grateful Dead joke (What does a deadhead say when the drugs wear off....The music sucks).
Well ths kind of pisses me off. For one competition is not cool in music. I am a dead head and I am listeneing to someone that has obvious disdain for the Dead, but also has no jokes newer than 20 years old. I have seen one hell of a lot of music, but this is the first time I ever heard one band diss on another band from the stage. I thought music was so NOT THIS myself that I was offended.
This is also why you very seldom hear the phrase "Musician slash comedian".
I decided to leave and remebered that last week I saw The Dead sell out Shoreline ampitheater two nights and this guy is in a bar playing for 43 people. Not much room to talk I think. Not to mention how much money the dead have given blues artists in the Bay Area over the years.
So I am walking out to my car and here comes this big 4 wheeld drive truck. Screaming straight at me. He is gunning right for me. I jump out of the way and the big guy starts screaming at me 'Here's you liberal Shit man, fuck you nigger lover" and all this vile shit and he throws a half eaten cookie at me and burns rubber leaving the lot. I was terrified. 1/2 hour before, he is my best bud and now he is flipping out and trying to run me over. And that cookie could not have been that strong if he only ate half of it. my Mom ate one the other day and she did not even know they were ganja style.
\So that is my Friday night.
Party like it's 1999!
And knock on the door. His roomate/ex girlfriend answers. She looks horrible. booze breath, like she has been on a multi day run of powdered drugs. "is Dave here?" I ask. She says yeah he is here and goes and knocks on his door. Out he comes and he looks worse than she does. "I was about to crash, I have been drinking whisky since 8 in the morning" he tells me. I am like "It's okay, see ya later"....The truth is this kind of scared me. I have never had a drink at 8AM in my lifetime.
Dave used to be cool, but since he moved this woman in his house, he has been getting as crazy as she is. She sent him to prison for two years a few years ago too, the last time he helped her. Now she is in the house, has taken over the house and Dave's soul. He never used to be like this but around her, she just dominates him. She steals his money, steals everything. For the last couple of months, Dave has moved everything of value out of the living room, dining room and now ensconses himself in his bedroom with a big lock on it to keep her out. Sad really. he can't stand her, but can't get rid of her either.
So as I was leaving the bare living room (no stereo, no TV, computer) I was thinking to myself that this would be the last time I see my friend for a long time (or perhaps ever). All of his friends see the disaster train smoking down the tracks and there ain't a thing any of us can do about it.
So after all this I go to my favorite music bar to see the blues (and the blues is exactly right)
What a weird freaking night.
Went to my fvorite watering hole. Sat at my usual spot at the bar. Friends next to me on both sides. A few margaritas, some chips, good times.
My friends to my left leave.
Some guy, about 5 foot nothing, comes in the bar. I try to vibe him away from me, he is wearing a toupee, a sport coat (it's 90), has chains and jewelry on (READ:REPUBLICAN), and I can tell he is someone I don't want to have to talk too.
He sits right next to me. Orders a Tall Dos XX and then he pulls out his cell phone. Then proceeds to have the single most inane phone conversation in the history of phone conversations. He talks about his fake hair, how he had the grey died out of his real (and assuming) sparse factory intalled hair. He talks about how he goes to anger management and how he is always getting into fights. he talks about being dumped by some chick, someone else owes him 22 thousand dollars et. STUPID STUFF.
I cannot get awy from the guys conversation, it is like plugged right into my brain, he is so close it dominates my world.
And yes you coudl say "Why don't I just move"/ Well FUCK THAT. My bar, my stool, my corner etc. I am not the rude one here (at least not yet).
While he is going on my dinner comes. I still have my friend on the right buy the dude on the phone is dominating the area. Blah blah blah. On and on. I sit there, eat my multi item combo meal and the entire time the guy is on teh phone. "I have a date from match.com" and "I can't keep a woman" etc. Ad naseum.
I tired to make a motion to him to put the phone away, but the guy is ignoring me. I make the throat slitting motion. I give him THE LOOK. NOTHING. Finally, I am like 'Dude take it you office", again he ignores me. 40 minutes. He finishes his beer and, without hanging up, orders another one.
By now, I am just slightly pissed off. This guy has ruined my evening (or so I thought)and certainly my mood. Not to mention the entire time I was dining,I was seething and all I could think about was shoving that cell phone up his ass.
I can't stand it anymore. So I let the guy have it. I tell him how rude he is being etc. "Got that toupee where? "How is Shannon" (the girl that dumped him), "how are those lifts working out for you" "Can't wait to gon Match.com and see how your date worked out". The guy, to his credit, just keeps talking. like nothing else is happening.
I pay up, so I can get the hell away from this guy (I would have stayed but for the guy) and went to my friends house.(where the story will continue)
I was visitng an alzheimers care facility (long story). I was talking to the staff and this elderly gentleman comes up to us. he could barely talk in a whisper. Nobody could understand him.
The staffers said that he was new there, so they had yet to get a handle on him, as far as understanding what he was saying, he was such a low talker.
Finally one of the staffers determined that he lost his harmonica. So the staffer goes off to his room to find it. A bout five minutes later they came back, with his harmonica.
About a foot long, double row, Chromatic. Kept in a case.
He busts this thing out and plays a few rudimentary notes. Then he starts playing some kind of waltz. Beautifully. All of a sudden his toes start tapping. he gets louder and starts playing a lot more forecefully. then he goes into a polka tune. I notice his eyes close and he is just lost in the music.
All the otehr old coots start tapping their toes too,a nd ind of dancing along with the guy. they too are lost in the music.
For about fifteen minutes the guy is rocking the house. For fifteen minutes the house is not Alzheimers patients, but they are living again.
Then the guy just collapses in his chair and nods off. The rest return to staring into space, like they had been doing before.
But for those fifteen miutes, it was magic. the power of music overcame all their problems...AMAZING.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qS3U-62UlT4 Rocks off
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XQdiyCZD9o... Rip this joint
And something I wrote earlier....
Exile was hardly underrated. I was there, and it was the greatest album since well forever...Read the Rolling Stone (then THE MUSIC MAG) articles about it. We are talking mass hysteria. This album came out of the gate as one of the greatest albums of all time. Not Stones albums, but any albums. the Keith/Mick drama was at it's very peak, the stories of debauchery and visiting royalty wre in full bloom, Marianne faithful,,,,
The tour played at Winterland and tickets were going to be offered by computer for the first time. Ever. Winterland was a lot smaller than any venue the Stones played in the States. First tour since Altamont.
The line around Sears was miles long. I got there on Sat morning (the tix went on sale on Sunday)and was second in line. they opened the doors at Sears and we all ran through the store. Way back in the back. There was only one window and there had to be about 5000 people outside. pandemonium. The booth opened at 10 and the crush shut the system down. All over the area.
For about two hours, the frantic clerk ahd this angry Stones mob to deal with. the store had no idea that this was going to happen so they had no extra staff or security to deal with the madness. Peaople really started to get pissed. And loud, and more pissed. More unruly. loud.
Finally after all the time the system cranks back up and starts spitting out tickets. For the first three people in the line. And then...no more.
This really doesn't sit well with the crowd, except me, i got mine. Somebody punched the glass in the booth (pre bulletproof glass everywhere) and shattered it and a riot almost broke out. ALMOST.
everyone swore that they should go back to the old way of distributing tickets (giving them to record stores and head shops all over the area)...
Ah the good old days.
The Stones played with stevie Wonder and he was right at his peak too. Higher Ground. man that was the tune that got me off.
The Stones looked like girls. rocked my face, but looked like girls. To think of Keith looking like a girl is preopsterous, but really he was la fem in 72. They fucking klled it in there. exile plus...
Okay I gotta say....A Lot more people for this than any other type of protest I have ever seen at the Capitol in Sacramento.
I rode light rail down and was very surprised to find a ton of people were also riding to the event. I asked them what they were doing and they told me protesting taxes, going to a Tea party. All wrapped in the American Flag.. I asked which ones and they all said "excessive" taxes. I asked them what they they thought about Light rail and transit in general being susidized by the gov't and they told me they paid their way on(?????).
We got the event and this herd of protestors headed to the Capitol. They waved flags and yelled USA. Lots of signs, few mispelled . Everyone was against taxes. I asked which taxes and nobody could pinpoint which programs they did not like. So I asked them about the military and if you want to cut waste that should be the first place they should cut. That did not really sit well. I asked them if they felt safe with the huge police presence and they were fine with that.
There seems to be some type of disconnect with these people. I asked three guys, two wearing a Aluet shirt and another wearing a pipefitters local jacket why they were there and tehy told me they don't like to pay taxes. I asked them what the Aluet company does and he told me they clean State Gov't buildings. The Aluet Co is the largest State janitorial firm on the West Coast they told me. "So you clean state buildings, but you don't like paying taxes?"...And really, a sheet of disbelief came over their faces.
I asked them if they were well paid with benes and they told me they were in fact very well paid with medical and retirement.
There were tons of "Obama is a socialist" or some such signs too. Seemed to be the prevelant theme of the event. When I would encounter someone with the sign I would ask them waht they felt about the military and they told me they like the military just fine, I asked them if they liked the police and tehy liked them just fine too. Same with the Fire department, the Zoo keeper etc,but they hate waste and such..
there was a lot of talk about the bailouts, stopping foreclosures etc. That was the main message. A bunch of radio jocks (and Sac is totally right wing on the radio) rattled on about how this was the revolution, Reagan references a plenty, and How barack Obama was going to lead us to socialism.
I kept a low profile and visited the capitol and took some photos in there. Arnie's got a new bear too but no photos of that.
As the crowd thinned out and I was about to do the same (no really they were still going strong I just couldn't handle it anymore)I hopped back on the rail. full of protestors. I asked why they had been protesting and they told me about the taxes and the tea bag event. I asked them what news they watched on TV and all said FOX.(At the event itself, the FOX truck had the primo place at the Capitol.) I asked them what taxes they wanted to cut and they all said "all of them". They are pissed about school boards, city gov't, county Gov't and Obama's Gov't.
I asked them if they thought the military was the place to begin cutting and some old man with an accent (german maybe?)got in my face. Told me how the military was the reason I was on the light rail train etc. I tried to explain to him that I was talking about cutting spending not dissing the military. But he did not get it and offered to "Get off the train" with him. I declined.
Kind of fun, kind of scary. I have to imagine I have the same feeling about these people as these people had about me when I protested.
The rest of the album....http://picasaweb.google.com/bennyboy420/TE...
They were very loud too and fired up. Passionate as hell. Never seen that out of this type of person before.
Oh yeah The crowd was mostly over 50 but a surprising amount of younger people. And there were not many people of color. I saw two black men there and no asians or hispanic looking people.
Okay, I made a big deal about going on a cross country motorcycle trip a couple of weeks ago.
Well as I was loading my stuff on my bike, my daughter's husband came over and told me my father had passed away. That was two Mondays ago. One of the last things my Father said to me me was "I hope I don't live long enough to see a nigger in the White House". Wish came true on that one I am thinking.
So the trip is delayed. Last Monday we had the memorial service. Lots of people I had not seen in years. My half brother and sister, from my Father's earlier marriage came along with my "new" cousin, Robert. Never met the guy and boy, oh boy, is he the scammer. Couldn't tell if everything he said was a lie or just part of it. He hung around with my Mom for a few days until he took the hint to leave, finally. I kind of feel bad for him, his Mom (my half sister) abandoned her first family much like my Father did his first family and he is kind of without family.
Most of my parents friends and business relationships did not attend. My Father had some pretty harsh dealings with them lately so they did not want to be there. Can't say as I blame them. My brother did not even come out from Montana (where he moved to get away from him) for the service.
So for now I am helping my Mom with some of the mess my dad left her financially and in business. Lots of lawsuits and hard feelings.
My mom fell about 8 weeks ago and broke her hip so she is now using a walker and cannot do all that much for herself. Not seeing that she will get much better either.
So anyway, that is what is going on with me. Computer time is limited so I haven't been able to check in sooner than this.
To all the DUers that offered meet-ups, places to stay and all that. BIG TIME, THANKS A LOT! I really was looking forward to meeting some of you and getting to know each other a little better. And again, Thanks a lot for your kind words.
AND VOTE! I really am looking forward to tomorrow I really think we are going to do some great things..
Folks, I am headed out. Sold all my stuff and getting outta Dodge. Bought a motorcycle, a new camera and am off to see the good ol US of A. Won't be posting here much, no laptop so my computer use will be limited to libraries on the road.
My only plan is to make the Obama inauguration. I am thinking of riding the CA coast to LA then taking the southern route to New Orleans. Hit the grand canyon, Taos, Santa Fe, Austin. I ahve some relatives in South carolina nd Georgia and might like to try to make NYC and Vermont sometime.....
I just cannot deal with my parents any more, Death threats, spying, fliers about what an asshole I am, accusations of theft etc. I just have to go. My Mom won't control my dad and nobody else will either. I can't take the abuse and hate to see my Mom take it.
So I am out. One thing I would like to do is meet some of you all. So if you have ever thought that maybe you might like to meet me or might want to help me out when I am out on the road please PM me and lt me know your contact info.
If you have any must sees on the way let me know. Cool places to stay, hostels, places I can work for a day or two etc.....
Anyways folks, it has been a pleasure being here. It has been fun, full of shits and giggles, and I hope I did not piss too many of you off.
PEACE OUT< and OBAMA forever
Song for the day.
Now that all his policies have come home to roost?
THE SARA PALIN CHRONICLES (my thanks to all who's contribution here on DU I could not have done without, you did the work I jsut compiled all this)
Since her announcement as vice Presidential nominee for the Republican party we know for sure that Republican Vice Presidential Nominee has
1. Lied about not supporting the “bridge to Nowhere”’. This lie, during her announcement speech, came within a few seconds of the record for a Republican politician.
From the UK article
Sarah Palin's record in office is facing increasing scrutiny after it emerged that she misled Republican supporters when she was presented to the nation as Senator John McCain's running mate.
The Governor of Alaska gave a misleading version of events over a controversial bridge project in her home state when she made her maiden speech as the presumptive nominee.
Mrs Palin told a cheering audience in Ohio that she had turned down an offer from the US Congress to build the so-called "Bridge to Nowhere", which would have connected Gravina Island with Ketchikan International, an airport in Alaska's southeast serving just 200,000 passengers a year. Mr McCain routinely cites the £100 million project as a symbol of wasteful central government spending.
As she introduced herself to Republicans and the American public on Friday, the virtually unknown Mrs Palin said: "I championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. In fact, I told Congress ... 'thanks, but no thanks'on that bridge to nowhere. If our state wanted a bridge, I said we'd build it ourselves."
However it emerged that in a 2006 interview with the Anchorage Daily News during her gubernatorial campaign, Mrs Palin had a different view of the bridge.
Asked "would you continue state funding for the proposed Knik Arm and Gravina Island bridges?" she replied: "Yes. I would like to see Alaska's infrastructure projects built sooner rather than later. The window is now - while our congressional delegation is in a strong position to assist."
2. Lied when she said she fought corruption and Senator Ted Stevens:
She was in fact, the Director of Ted Stevens 527 group.
ST. PAUL -- Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin began building clout in her state's political circles in part by serving as a director of an independent political organization organized by the now embattled Alaska Sen. Ted Stevens.
Palin's name is listed on 2003 incorporation papers of the "Ted Stevens Excellence in Public Service, Inc.," a 527 group that could raise unlimited funds from corporate donors. The group wasdesigned to serve as a politicalboot camp for Republican women in the state. She served as one of threedirectors until June 2005,when her name was replaced on state filings.
Palin's relationship with Alaska's senior senator may be one of the more complicated aspects of her new position as Sen. John McCain's runningmate; Stevens was indicted in July 2008 on seven counts of corruption.
Palin, an anti-corruption crusader in Alaska, had called on Stevens to be open about the issues behind the investigation. But she also held a joint news conference with him in July, before he was indicted, to make clear she had not abandoned him politically.
3. “Troopergate” and abuse of power. http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/archive/200...
4. Discovered that her husband, who has no role in Gov’t, has been cc’d on classified emails and was in the cneter of the Troopergate scandal.. http://www.andrewhalcro.com/shadow_governo...
If the official story is to be taken as fact, Palin, while in Texas at a Governors energy conference, had her water break before a speech. Instead of going to the nearest hospital in Dallas, decided to give a speech before the Governors conference, (with amniotic fluid leaking down her leg)then decided to fly on a commercial airliner to Seattle, then to Alaska, bypassing the hospital in Anchorage to have the baby at the Wasilla hospital. This is bad enough for a normal child but a difficult birth like a Downs Syndrome baby? http://www.celebrity-babies.com/2008/04/al...
Watch this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoPK4pvOE4o
6. Supporter and member of Alaskan secessionist society.
"I'm an Alaskan, not an American. I've got no use for America or her damned institutions." - Joe Vogler, founder of the Alaskan Independence Party"
AIP Vice Chairman of the AIP, Dexter Clark reveals that:
"Our current governor who I mentioned at the last conference, the one we were hoping would get elected, Sarah Palin, did get elected . . . .and there was a lot of talk about her moving up. She was an AIP member before she got the job as mayor . . ." "
Clips and more on KOS http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2008/9/1...
7. Didn’t even have a passport until 2007 http://blog.foreignpolicy.com/decision08
8.Was almost recalled as mayor of Wasilla (pop 6500)over abuse of power allegations http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eric-schmelt...
9.Ran her town of 5400 20 million dollars in the red http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0808/...
10. Begged for earmarks in Congress:
http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/wa... - 2008sep01,0,6108885.story
But under her leadership, the state of Alaska has requested 31 earmarks worth $197.8 million in next year's federal budget, according to the website of Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska), the former chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee.
11. Many of her colleagues in Alaska are stunned and say she is not ready to be mayor of Wasilla let alone the Vice President of the United States: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/08/30/g...
The Anchorage Daily News is reporting that many of Palin's local colleagues, even Republican,were rather stunned by her being chosen as McCain's vice president.
State Senate President Lyda Green said she thought it was a joke when someone called her at 6 a.m. to give her the news.
"She's not prepared to be governor. How can she be prepared to be vice president or president?" said Green, a Republican from Palin's hometown of Wasilla. "Look at what she's done to this state. What would she do to the nation?"
12. And although teenage pregnancy is something that happens to people of all persuasions and stripes, when it happens to someone that is so strongly anti-birth control and sex education, it is somehow more ironic..
McCain fought money on teen pregnancy programs
WASHINGTON – Republican John McCain, whose running mate disclosed that her unmarried 17-year-old daughter is pregnant, has opposed proposals to spend federal money on teen-pregnancy prevention programs and voted to require poor teen mothers to stay in school or lose their benefits.
Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin's announcement Monday about her daughter, Bristol, was aimed at rebutting Internet rumors that Palin's youngest son, born in April, was actually her daughter's. Palin said her daughter intends to raise her child and marry the baby's father, who was identified only by his first name, Levi. The baby is due in late December.
Palin herself said she opposes funding sexual-education programs in Alaska.
"The explicit sex-ed programs will not find my support," she wrote in a 2006 questionnaire distributed among gubernatorial candidates.
Read more: http://news.yahoo.com/story//ap/20080902/a... ...
Just the simple facts that she is allowing her children and the babies father to be the center of this story for career advancement shows something much worse than her daughter having a baby out of wedlock.
13. Has religious views that support “headship”. Which means, if McCain dies while in office, Todd Palin, would become the de facto President of the United States.
If you don't believe me, ask anybody in the religious right.
There's lots of material about this, it's no secret, but here's two sources I found in just looking quickly...
"Control Freaks and the Women Who Love Them"
"Christianity and Domestic Violence"
The Religious Right can't run away from this because all of the well-known leaders endorse this concept. Two quotes from Pat Robertson, but this one's the money-quote:
"I know this is painful for the ladies to hear, but if you get married, you have accepted the headship of a man, your husband. Christ is the head of the household and the husband is the head of the wife, and that's the way it is, period..." (Pat Robertson, The 700 Club television program, January 8, 1992).
"The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become lesbians."
15. Some other things Palin supports
Any abortions including cases of rape and incest
Supports aerial hunting of wolves http://www.alternet.org/election08/97207/s...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpSjSeM6w0w (do not watch this if you are the slightest bit queasy about wolves being viciously killed)
Bristol Palin and underage drinking and guns http://www.tmz.com/2008/09/02/palin-daught... /
Please feel free to do any correcting or adding anything. This is the first time I have tried to do something this encompassing so bear with me. If someone with beter skills can make this prettier go for it.
The first time I ever heard them, I was being babysat by a girl about 8 yrs my elder, Rachel Self. I was about 8 at the time. She had just received her drivers license and we were driving along the road, myself, rachel and a couple of my friends. we were listening to the radio and all of a sudden Rachel SHH'd us all and turned the radio as loud as it would go.
She started singing along and by the time the song was over she had to pull the car to the side of the road. She was apoplectic.
My parents never listened to music, so I was a sheltered kid. I had no idea that music could have that effect on people. ESPECIALLY GIRLS!
Later that week, Rachel again babysat us on a Sunday evening. I really liked that because I could watch one the forbidden shows in our house, The Ed Sullivan show. My parents hated The Ed Sullivan show, rock and roll and just about everything so we never ever got to watch it.
A bunch of Rachel's friends came over to watch the show with her. Teenage girls all over the place. they all sat eagerly for the Beatles. I can't tell you when they came on in the show but when they finally did come on it was pandemonium. the girls all screamed fainted and swooned. I had never seen anyone act this way. These girls were flipping out. No longer were they demure girls, but they were freaking animals! All they talked about the rest of the night was The Beatles and who they were going to marry. Who was going to do what to whom and the pros and cons for each member of the band.
All I knew was, this music really got these girls going, going like nothing else. It changed them. It made their little teenage panties wet and I think it was the first time I was aware of sex.
I also knew that I wanted to be a Beatle. or something like one. Just like every teenage or pre-teen in America.
So we bought Beatle boots. we pegged our pants. We all begged our parents to buy us guitars.(Mine would only allow me to play a pedal steel, it was not a Rock and Roll instrument). We bought Beatle wigs.
Suddenly everything that we had been taught and told by our parents was wrong. Totally wrong. Here were these mop topped kids, having fun, pranking on everything in society and we loved it. Our parents hated it. Some passionately. Mine would not let me see the films (I had to sneak out my window, put on my pegged pants, wig and boots stashed in the bushes and meet up with my friends the night they opened). My parents did not let me have any of their music or wear any of the clothes. My dad was always "They are laughing all the way to the bank" and all that.
Of course that just made me rebel even more. No longer could my parents tell me what to do, what to wear, what to listen to. i was going to do it no matter what and there was nothing they could do about it.
It became a constant battle. I wanted to play music. I wanted to see music. They caught me sneaking out to go see the Beatles at Candlestick park and grounded me forever. It made no difference that I did not have tickets, I was going anyway.
in reading this thread it is nice to know that I am not alone. It gives me good perspective on the why's and such and how to end the cycle as best I can and deal with my own demons and how they came to be. For a long time I just thought I was fucked up and everything my father told me I was. But now I know, it was him and my Mom that are the fucked up ones and at least I am trying to better myself, at least mentally.
But as my father has begun the all too slow deescent in his own demise, any good things about him have disappeared and only the horrible are evident with him now. And I am the only one that gets to deal with it. And until the past two weeks most of the things I needed to say to him, I have not. but I have told him exactly how I feel aout him lately and it is hard, but it needs to be said.
So thanks for the words and everything will be okay for all of us if we learn about what went on and take care of it if we see things in ourselves that mirror those horrible things about our relatives.
My mom would not let him drink in the house until I was about 13.
He hid a bottle behind the toilet, drank on the job (as a tile contractor) and was generally a pretty good father.
But every once in while he would come home late and have huge violent fights with my mother. Called her every name in the book, questioned her sexuality etc.
Once in while I would find him sleeping face down on the floor. At the time, I did not know what the deal was, but now I do.
My Father has always been a very intimidating person and would use violence or the threat of violence to dominate and abuse everyone in the family.
When i was 13 my uncle and his family came out from South Carolina, my Mom's family. They drank, and in the open. A martini every night at 4 PM. When they came it gave my Dad a license to be open about his drinking. And drink he did. But he is one of those drink till it's gone types (me too at times). So the drunken fights were more frequent. The abuse intensified. Although up until that point he had only given spankings, he was always very controlling and verbally abusive. Once I was at my Girlfriends house across the street, lost track of the time and literally kicked my ass across the street. In front of everyone. Then the threat of real violence became part of my life. getting backhanded at the table, that sort of thing.
As his drinking became more pronounced, he became violent to his friends and lost most of them. He would fight with anyone, over the littlest things.
Once he came home from drinking with his working buddies and looked through the mail. He found my checking acoount statement in there with the cancelled checks. Now, I was 15 I think, and this was my first checking account. I worked for my dad after school and on weekend and during the summer, so I had a checkbook. He noticed that everyday I made out checks to someone for five dollars. He asked me (more like browbeat) about it and I had no idea who it was. He accused me of buying drugs with a check (yeah right). At the time he became so abusive that I could not remember the checks. It seems that every day the roach coach guy came by and I wrote him a check but he wanted me to leave the payee line blank. So he had his wife cash the check and I did not recognize the name. In the hubbub I could not figure it out.
Of course the fight escalated, he started towards me in a menacing way, and I finally stood up to my Father. I told him I was going to kick his ass. Of course this is something that every father and son go through and they get over it. Not my father, He went to the bedroom and brought out a gun and pointed it at me. I was terrirfied and left the house then. Of course I came back eventually, after my dad threatened the family that was putting me up.
Since then he has done the gun thing so many times that I do not have a clear reccollection of any one incident, but only a composite of them all. Once he pulled a gun on me because I would not unload the trailer from camping fast enough for him. I have had to take him down many times, any time he even gets upset he fakes like he going for a gun and I wil never ever let him do that to me or my kids, so I take him down. He of course, thinks that I have beat him, but the truth is, I never hit him with my fists or kicked him. I just wanted to make sure he did not get the gun. As he has gotten older we have had to take the guns away from him a bunch of times. But he goes to a card room and gets another one so we are not sure if he has one or not.
He would drink (always double shots) and get very abusive to my Mom, Accused her of being a lesbian, a whore, sleeping with the people they were out with etc. In restaurants, church (yes church), on camping trips etc. But by now he was this way drunk or not.
As I got older and dealt with my own issues with alcohol (thank God I am a happy drunk) I have found out some things about my Father. One was he was married before he and my Mom were married. He beat his first wife when he was drunk to a pulp and was threatened by her family and never saw his two kids again until they we in their late 20's. They too have many issues with drug and alcohol abuse and his daughter abandonded a family of her own. She is now a great person and a great parent but spent her twenties abusing all kinds of drugs and once tried to commit suicide. I always thought of them as the lucky ones, they did not have to deal with him everyday like I did.
My father has always said "I want to be rich enough to get drunk and lie in the gutter all day". he still says that, but he can't drink anymore. But he is still the biggest asshole I have ever met. My Mom, although I don't have as much animosity towards her as I do my father, has always been afraid of him and let him terrorize everyone in the family. And for that I will always wonder why she let him do that to her, her children and granchildren.
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