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Amerigo Vespucci's Journal
 Washington DC - Congress has approved the hotly-contested "Hammer's Law," which will send a free pair of parachute pants to every man, woman and child in the United States. Shortly after the vote, Republicans Mitch McConnell and John Boehner held a press conference to decry the "outrageous" spending that would accompany the bill. "Somewhere tonight, a CEO will go to bed hungry," noted Boehner. He then wept openly as Senator McConnell attempted, in vain, to console him. Democratic Leader Harry Reid observed the press conference from the back of the crowd and is rumored to be the anonymous crowd member who yelled "PLEASE, HAMMER, DON'T HURT 'EM" at its conclusion. More:cnn.com/hammers-law |
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