I am severing ties with the state of Confusion (SC), and the US and all other government entities that have claimed jurisdiction over me.

I declare my apartment to be the country of "Meh." Its capitol is in my bathroom and is WTFROFLOMGLMAODTM.
That's Welsh for "Bite Me."

My contracts with such entities as the power company, my landlords and such have been legally changed to treaties.

I am Queen Bee. My cats are my Ministers of State. One is Madame Scat who is in charge of Security. I have not issued a decree making a formal Patriot Act or some such nonsense. If Madame Scat will keep Palmetto bugs and other creatures at bay, I see no reason for such restrictive measures. Madame Mouse is in charge of supplies and food. She will inform me of any shortages.

They both have overlapping duties in certain areas. They will perform guard duty at night which involves getting as close to me as possible when I go to sleep. They will take turns during the day sitting behind me and patting me on my head. Both will scrutinize what is on teevee and make sure that the programs are entertaining enough for them.

In the country of "Meh" the following are the principles upon which it is founded:

All creatures are equal. There is an exception for Palmetto bugs and fire ants unless a treaty can be reached. They will recognize the borders of Meh or get squashed.

There is separation of church and state. If someone has a religion that is fine. I just don't want to hear about it.

There is free health care for my subjects (Scat and Mouse). I will provide my own, but that has been the status quo for a while so nothing has changed in that regard.

The Bill of Rights was good enough for the Founding Fathers. That is good enough for me. Amendments added after that are also considered valid.

I will consider signing treaties with friendly nations. However, I have broken off relations with the government of SC. Until they have someone in a position of authority who at least has the brains of a turtle, I will not have any diplomatic ties with them. Once they reach that august level, I will consider preliminary talks in hopes that they will work their way up the evolutionary ladder and reach some form capable of holding 2 thoughts in their heads at one time.

All written communiques must be spelled correctly.

Grits will be the official food.

This decree is effective as of November 4th, 2009.