...bags of fucking gas. They aggrandize the trivial and meaningless, to whit one Michael Wilbon, a Washington Post sports scribe whose hero worship is well known and whose whole life revolves around the insignificant accomplishments of men who are paid enormous sums of money to play children's games. Here is his latest ponderings on the high-stakes sweepstakes that is Lebron James^TM:

Will LeBron James make a basketball decision or a personal one?

By Michael Wilbon
Sunday, May 16, 2010; D03

So we're stuck with this conversation for 45 days, all the way until July 1 to be exact. Six-plus weeks of leaks and sources, of wooing and recruiting, of LeBron James being sighted at a haberdashery in Midtown Manhattan or a restaurant in Chicago's West Loop or at a private party on Miami's South Beach. Anywhere he shows his face it's sure to be "BREAKING NEWS."

The Cleveland Cavaliers' stunning elimination from the NBA playoffs on Thursday night means the most curious guessing game in the history of modern sports in America is on, officially. Even though LeBron's presence hardly means a trip to the NBA Finals, he still guarantees immediate and long-term contention, not to mention nightly sellouts, a run on jerseys and media coverage that will tilt the entire town toward the pro basketball team. And with that as the backdrop, the serious contestants are, in alphabetical order: the Chicago Bulls, Los Angeles Clippers, Miami Heat, New Jersey Nets and New York Knicks.

And my comments following the column.

Hi Mike, let's put this in perspective. An athletically gifted young man is about to have the payday of his life because easily distracted people need to be entertained.

Congratulations Lebron.

Meanwhile, in the Gulf of Mexico a gusher of oil of unprecedented magnitude is threatening to kill off the flora and fauna of this important body of water and wreck the area's coastal economy.

Please remind me why the former is more important than the later.

For the record, I played three sports in high school, was challenged at the highest level of athleticism while serving in the military, and still maintain a physical fitness regimen into my early 50s that would challenge most folks half my age. So flame if you must, but it matters not one whit to me as my beautiful Gulf is raped and despoiled.