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Posted by BlogBox in General Discussion: Presidential
Fri Aug 31st 2007, 03:16 AM

The ghost of Vietnam is back; the economy's sinking fast; the religious right is ranting; Ann Coulter's got new boobs (or she's finally figured out Victoria's secret); it's time to celebrate John McCain's birthday again, like we did two years ago; and, nobody suffers like Laura Bush (warning: graphic images). A true week of Republicaweirdness. Fortunately, DUers Hamlette, jgraz, and Husb2Sparkley tell it like it is. Enjoy!

Happy Birthday, John McCain!

Who could ever forget John McCain's birthday? After all, he celebrated with President Gee Dubya and a big-assed cake while Hurricane Katrina drowned New Orleans two years ago. Your Right Hand Thief notes the historic milestone:

We must never forget...
... that today is Senator John McCain's birthday!

Good luck with your birthday campaign fundraiser, Johnny Mac! I hear that 71 is the new 40.

(It's amazing to think that today some conservative will write a check to the McCain campaign, and then later mumble something about how New Orleans is "doomed" and such a waste of tax dollars.)

Which GOP Bag-O-Bones Boob Got New Boobs?

You guessed it. Like stepping in something the cat coughed up, City Rag has the nitty gritty on that clothes hanger who wears the little black cocktail dress 24/7, as well as the photographic evidence:

Ann Coulter's Boob Job

It looks like the Republican's favorite dominatrix has had a boob job or two. She's so gross... Bolt ons for Ann Coulter?

By the way, Awful Plastic Surgery wants to know: "Why didn't she spend a few bucks on her face too?"

Ouch. Unkind. Why, that's like... something Ann Coulter would say. Jossip gets the last word, though: "Anne Coulter's (alleged) breast augmentation surgery totally trumps John Edwards' $400 haircuts." Now onto someone for whom boobs just don't do it...

You Don't Get Your Own Private Idaho, Bub!

Sheesh! According to news reports (as noted by Atrios), it's just another "he said/he said" incident. Between two men: one of them a married flag-waving, family-values-swearing, card-carrying right-wing U.S. senator... on the down low. Actually, it's the damned hypocrisy. How about a blast from the past? (Hat tip to DUer Hamlette.)

Hypocrisy. Buy a freakin' dictionary, Republicans! Speaking of hypocrisy, at least, one of our top ten BushCo criminals has resigned:

Gonzo With the Wind

We won't have Alberto Gonzales to kick around anymore. That's right, Gonzo. Run away, you coward. What's a little perjury when the president stands behind you? (OK, stop laughing and chanting "Heckuva Job, Gonzo!") But before you go, here are your six top lies (so many to choose from, so little time), as archived at TPM Muckraker:

1) "The disagreement that occurred, and the reason for the visit to the hospital, Senator, was about other intelligence activities. It was not about the terrorist surveillance program that the president announced to the American people."
-- 7/24/07 testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee

2) "The consensus in the room from the congressional leadership was that we should continue the activities, at least for now, despite the objections of Mr. Comey. There was also consensus that it would be very, very difficult to obtain legislation without compromising this program, but that we should look for a way ahead. It is for this reason that within a matter of hours Andy Card and I went to the hospital."
"I just wanted to put in context for this committee and the American people why Mr. Card and I went. It's because we had an emergency meeting in the White House Situation Room, where the congressional leadership had told us, "Continue going forward with this very important intelligence activity."
-- 7/24/07 testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee

3) "I was not involved in seeing any memos, was not involved in any discussions about what was going on."
-- A March 13th press conference on the U.S. attorney firings.

4) "I haven't done -- I haven't talked to witnesses because of the fact that I haven't wanted to interfere with this investigation and department investigations.""
-- 4/19/07 testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee

"�.as I've indicated, I have not gone back and spoken directly with Mr. Sampson and others who are involved in this process, in order to protect the integrity of this investigation and the investigation of the Office of Professional Responsibility and the Office of Inspector General."
-- 5/11/07 testimony before the House Judiciary Committee

5) "The track record established over the past three years has demonstrated the effectiveness of the safeguards of civil liberties put in place when the act was passed. There has not been one verified case of civil liberties abuse."
-- 4/27/05 testimony before the House intelligence committee

6) "�(L)et me publicly sort of preempt, perhaps, a question you're going to ask me, and that is, I am fully committed, as the administration's fully committed, to ensure that, with respect to every United States attorney position in this country, we will have a presidentially appointed, Senate-confirmed United States attorney."
-- 1/18/07 testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee

Those were just the lies, mind you. Read the rest of the post to see the actual facts. Meanwhile, if Montgomery Burns rubbing his hands together gives you the creeps, what about...?

The Man Who Would Be... Er, Take Over Iraq

What do you do when you want to take over a war-torn country? First, hire the top GOP lobbying firm. We learn from IragSlogger that Dr. Ayad Allawi has done just that and he's agreed to pay them several hundred thousand U.S. dollars. Check out the contract at the link. Of course, that price includes...

As previously reported exclusively by IraqSlogger, the Republican lobbying firm Barbour, Griffith, & Rogers, LLC, began its work for Allawi August 17 by registering the domain name Allawi-for-Iraq.com. In recent days, BGR sent hundreds of e-mail messages in Allawi's name from the e-mail address DrAyadAllawi@Allawi-for-Iraq.com .

Hmm. The names Blackwell, Barbour and Bush - all key players in this Allawi lobbying deal - should give one pause in light of the upcoming (cough) progress (cough) report on Iraq. Wait. There's more...

The next thing you do: officially withdraw from the government you plan to overthrow. After you've secured your GOP lobbying contract, it might be a good idea to distance yourself from the power post you're planning to usurp, right? Once again, IraqSlogger has the update and the "official" story.

Allawi's Bloc Withdraws From Government

Cairo, EGYPT: Iyad Allawi, member of Iraqi parliament and head of the Iraqi National list, speaks during a press conference after his meeting with Arab League Secretary General Amr Mussa in Cairo 18 March 2007.
Khaled Desouki/AFP/Getty

Baghdad, Aug 24, (VOI) - Former Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi's Iraqi National List (INL) withdrew "finally" from Nouri al-Maliki's government, a leading INL member announced on Friday.

Stay tuned. This is far from over.

A Lovely Pair Of Coconuts: A Bloomberg-Hagel Ticket?

For those of us who like to keep an eye on David Broder's blandishment, disguised as serious journalism... but don't want to give him the click satisfaction, bloggers like Steve Benen at TPM often ride to the rescue. This week, Broder offers the idiotic idea of a Bloomberg-Hagel presidential ticket. Let the heeby jeebying begin:

Broder seems to believe that a Bloomberg-Hagel ticket would meet some pressing national demand. Do they agree with one another on policy matters? Well, no. Do they have a shared vision on how government is supposed to work? Actually, they're polar opposites. Does Broder see a scenario by which these two can win a national election? Not so much.

But, Broder says, they have "leadership" qualities. I wish I knew what Broder means by this; unfortunately, his column doesn't tell me. It apparently has something to do with "national purpose," though this, too, is just another vague platitude.

The column reads like a daydream of a writer who believes a liberal independent and a very conservative Republican will join forces, solve all of our problems, and "get something done." Get what done? It doesn't matter; it'll be something.

And it's always "something," isn't it, Broder? Fortunately for us, DUers get things done on a daily basis.

Thank A DUer!

Many thanks to jgraz for noting First lady Laura Bush's cancelled trip to Australia and how much pain she must be in, due to a pinched nerve:

Wow...pinched nerves are really painful

I really feel for her.

She's gotta be in some serious pain

Best wishes to the first lady for a speedy recovery.

Poor Laura. It's just too painful for her to travel on Air Force One with a team of private physicians and physical therapists. Life's tough, isn't it?

And thanks to Husb2Sparkley for one of the all-time great original post headlines: "Gonzo - gone-zo ...... this morning."

Finally, adding GOPer insult to GOPer injury, thanks to marmar for checking out the freshest freeper comments on Gonzales' Going, going, gone-ness. Here are my favorites:

Freepers manage racism, sexism and homophobia in a thread about Gonzales resignation

That's okay lady, I do the same thing. The older I get the worse I spell.
P.S. I heard Gonzalez is going back to Texas to manage a Taco Bell.

They are saying "Chertoff likely replacement"! Are they stoned? Don't they realize it will be Harriet Miers Part II? Chertoff should have been canned along with Big Gay Alberto - not PROMOTED! IF Bush recess appoints Chertoff, the House and Senate GOP should deny him anything else until he's out of office.

Here's my question, would Bush have given him the job if he wasn't Hispanic?

Ouch. And that's how the BushBots bounce. Meanwhile, back on Planet Earth, The Rude Pundit was busy...

Live Champagne Blogging the Alberto Gonzales Resignation Announcement and Coverage:

10:31: Why did Gonzales do it now? What confluence of evidence, expediency, and soul-sickness led him to either be released from his blood oath or to tell Bush to "fuck off" at last? Was it the loss of the musk of Karl Rove around the Oval Office? Such manly moments are to be missed in these dank end days of the swampy DC summer.

10:32: He's got a quite the prissy little demi-man gait to his walk up to the podium. That is not a happy man, not the usual skipping cocky stride of the dude who's gotten his jollies sending people to death and torture.

10:34: Gonzales says life in a suit is better than picking fruit in a field, he gives Bush a gentle kiss on the balls, and, whoa, he's outta there. That is someone who just did something he was ordered to do, but in the most "kiss my ass, motherfuckers" way possible.

Let's see what's up at Fox "news": This Jim Angle fucker thinks that Republicans are upset that Gonzales didn't "defend" himself more in hearings. He says that there's no "proof" that Gonzales lied to the Senate Judiciary Committee, disparaging Democrats, giving a thumb to the walnut-like prostate of Orrin Hatch for the Utah Senator's wisdom in defending Gonzales.

Boo-yah- it's 10:37 and Fox is off to Michael Vick.

Late breaking news, Rude: Michael Vick announced that he's found Jesus. Did you know he was lost? Me either. Wait! There's more! The Rude Pundit adds:

One Fun Thing About Alberto Gonzales's Resignation:

It's nowhere near ironic that the White House and the Justice Department spent the weekend outright lying about his Friday phone call to the President saying, "Adios."

More after Gonzales's press conference, which oughta be fun in that "badger gnaws its trapped foot off" kind of way.

Republicans got a big-assed wake-up call on their "We're better than the rest of you sad, human weaklings" shtick, didn't they? Was I the only one whose initial reaction to each Republican domino falling was "How will they spin this and blame it on Bill Clinton?" Of course, not. Did I marvel at the corporate-owned media's blood-in-the-water feeding frenzy? Frankly, yes. And my heebies have been definitely jeebied.

Are your heebies sufficiently jeebied yet? What BushCo nightmares may come are yet unknown, but this we know for sure: "misunderestimating" the power of BushCo to wield the fear/Dem Slime sword is unwise, to say the least. These guys are desperate, and desperation inspires truly desperate acts. And eating their own (at least, the weakest among them) may be fun to watch, but... if they'll devour their own, imagine what they'd like to do to us. Keep fighting the tightie righties, and keep sending those great blog links. We've still got a long way to go.

-- Delilah Boyd

Discuss (22 comments) | Recommend (12 votes)

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