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Posted by BlogBox in General Discussion: Presidential (Through Nov 2009)
Fri Nov 16th 2007, 12:54 PM
Are the constant Republican attacks getting you down? Is the endless evil/stupidity of BushCo causing more and more sleepless nights and grumpy, groggy days? This week, bloggers address the battle against rampant downerism and provide some seriously snarky coping mechanisms. Plus, it's time to thank some DUers for all that they do. Enjoy!

How Do Mormons Do It?

When Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney tells a reporter that naked Adam and naked Eve look promiscuous, do you cringe? When Romney talks about his five sons and their five wives, do you imagine a "Big Love" compound where the men choose their wives from an album of polaroids? Does either of Romney's quips make you wonder how Mormons ever manage to reproduce? ABC blogger Jake Tapper has the details. Hey, Romney defeats that whole "Adam and Eve were slutty" downerism by celebrating great big leaves on a tree. Think I'm kidding? Click the link.

How Do TV Bloggers Do It?

Racists and ad men and cave men, oh my! If you've haven't spent much (or any) time at Jonestown, this post on the Geico cavemen is a good place to start. Equating cro-magnonism with racism, Barry Max writes:

I know this feeling is not exclusive to black people, but one can draw a lot of parallels based on our experience here in America. I am not sure I am ready to laugh about it.

I cringe every time a commercial with mostly black people in it is accompanied with church music, or hyper-vibrato singing.

I cringe when I see a children's programs and the black woman is always sassy with her hand on her hip, but never nerdy.

Face it we need this imagery.

I want everyone that reads this to understand , underlying all the phony (seemingly real) designations that we live up to according to race therein lies an indisputable truth: We are all from the same shit.

Note to Barry: many of us white people cringe at those images, too. As for the Geico cavemen, at least some of us are still talking about racism in this country, and that's the most powerful weapon we have to defeat that whole wingnut "racism is an old topic" downerism. And now, for something completely different... Can you answer one of modern life's great questions? How much time do you spend digging and technorati-ing, and googling?

How Do Search Engines Do It?

Evidently, per Jonestown, very badly.

Jonestown Presents- "An Evening with the Search Engines" Starring- Hugh Beaumont, Barbara Billingsley, Tony Dow, and Jerry Mathers as the Beaver

Although I believe traffic from the Search Engines, for the most part, is worthless, it does serve as a source of entertainment. The things people search for, and how they end up at Jonestown cracks me up. Here, see for yourself-

"Picture of man having sex with a monkey"

Two things about this search.

1) Jonestown got two hits on this exact phrase. So, either the same person visited twice or two different people are interested in watching some Man on Monkey lovin'.

I'm not sure which one is more disturbing.

2) I have no fucking idea why the searcher/searchers visited this post-

"Man Accused of Having Sex With a Goat."

Jonestown adds:

Unfortunately, Jonestown has no picture of a "Man" having sex with a Monkey. However, we do have a picture of a Woman who has, or at least has had, sex with a Chimpy.


Other search terms that have led people to Jonestown include "Gay Wizard Movement," "Dumb Fat Ass Mother Fuckers Named Fred," (as in Thompson) and "Running a Cemetery without a License" (as in Malkin). If you think following search engine links reveals really weird and often hilarious stuff, consider this...

How Do Viral Videoers Do It?

Following links from sites like Best Week Ever can reveal hilarious results we might've missed, including video spoofs that some would argue are more entertaining than the real thing:

What If "24″ Happened In 1994? If you think 24 took a turn for the boring last season, just be thankful that Jack Bauer isn't fighting terror in the age of dial-up connections, pagers, and dot matrix printers. This Collegehumor sketch continues to prove my award-winning theory that any video mentioning Geocities is instantly the greatest video of all time.

Watch the video. It's hilarious. And for those of you who don't watch TV (aka mindless drivel) but want to know what co-workers are talking about, there's always Television Without Pity, where you can find snarky recaps of most current episodes. This week's best of the best: The "Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares" recap. No time for recaps? There are also weecaps of some shows. Wait a minute. Isn't there a writers' strike going on?

How Do Writers Do It?

Writer/blogger solidarity, anyone? According to the TV Addict, the following TV blogs are going dark this week to support the writers' strike:

On November 13th, this blog and the blogs listed below will be on strike for the day in solidarity with the Writers Guild of America. As fellow writers and as TV fans, we are coming together to express our strong support for the writers and their goals. We believe that when a writer's work makes money for a company, that writer deserves to be paid.


After the blackout, we intend to continue our campaign to support the WGA until the dispute has been resolved fairly. Since we will not be posting any new content on the 13th, we encourage our readers to visit United Hollywood instead for frequent updates about the strike. In solidarity-

The CineManiac
Daemon's TV
Ducky Does TV
Gabby Babble
Give Me My Remote
Glowy Box
I am a TV Junkie
Mikey Likes TV
Pass the Remote
The Pie Maker
Ramblings of a TV Whore
Seriously? OMG! WTF?
Silly Pipe Dreams
Tube Talk
The TV Addict
TV Series Finale
Watch with Intelligence

If you click the link to United Hollywood, you'll find an enlightening post, by Laeta Kalogridis, on the Writers' Guild of America being accused of - are you ready for this? - blacklisting.

As per AMPTP (Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers) President J. Nicholas Counter III today:

"The WGA is using fear and intimidation to control its membership. Asking members to inform on each other and creating a blacklist of those who question the tactics of the WGA leadership is as unacceptable today as it was when the WGA opposed these tactics in the 1950s."

Well, he got one thing right: It was the WGA who opposed blacklisting in the 1950's. Not, for example, any of the antecedent companies in the 1950's that spawned the conglomerates he currently serves. They were as silent, and callously unconcerned, about defending people's rights then as they are now.

Funny how certain establishment-oriented conglomerates like to accuse others of their own tactics. Hey, no one ever accused the man of being creative. Just mean. Laeta adds:

If I were a person with a dim view of human nature, I might suspect that there's an organized attempt to break writers' spirits. That the threats and the rumors (you know, the ones about how some writers are breaking ranks to screw the rest of us over) are somehow related.

But since I have a sunny and pleasant outlook on life, I'm sure that these are just coincidences. I'm sure that all the people who are worried about signing their names to what they post here are just paranoid, and the AMPTP really is the benign, generous, concerned entity they make themselves out to be.

Snark on, Sister! For those of you still wondering what all the fuss is about, United Hollywood's YouTube brief video explains it all. And the next time you watch an "I Love Lucy" rerun, remember that only the producers (no writers or crew members) have made hundreds of millions of dollars over the decades, and now they're asking, "What's this new-fangled thing called the internet tubes?" Believe it or not, TV execs, most of us like to watch. And read. And that's how we combat your "unions are bad" downerism.

How Do Hypocrites Do It?

Your Right Hand Thief's weekly quotes post has some real wincers, including 1) Dog The Bounty Hunter's (cough) apology:

"I now learned I'm not black at all... I've always taken pride to be the white guy that can talk to the black people, that can refer to them truly as a 'brother from a different mother' (sobs) ...It doesn't make an excuse for me to say that word ever, even if someone is dying. I cannot say that."

2) Louisiana State Rep. Carla Dartez' explanation of her "Buckwheat" moment:

"Talk to you later, Buckwheat."

-- State Rep. Carla Dartez, who explained her comment to the mother of an NAACP president by saying that she'd heard the expression on an "Eddie Murphy tape" she'd purchased at Wal-Mart. Apparently, "Dartez indicated she did not realize that the term 'buckwheat' could be interpreted as a racial slur." She should've observed how YRHT has used "buckwheat" to good effect referring to Bush, tourists and political neophytes. That's how you do it. Funny like.

3) And Eunice Mayor Bob Morris just wants to know the difference. (cough) Honestly (cough):

"What is the difference between a black man and a nigger?"

-- Eunice Mayor Bob Morris allegedly asked, when questioning Detective Ronnie Brown. I wrote "nigger" instead of "n----r" because... embarrassing confusions can occur.

Speaking of hypocrites...

How Do Drier And McCreary Do It?

According to BlogActive's Mike Rogers, David Drier and Jim McCreary have suddenly started supporting gay rights.

And they thought that reporting on anti-gay closet cases doesn't change votes:

Thank you to David Dreier and Jim McCreary, two closeted gay men who finally got with the program and vote for equality.

So what has made these two Republicans see the light? Maybe they've really changed. Naaah. They probably fear something about to bite them in their Republican asses. Psst! Want to see freeper heads explode?

How Does Kos Do It?

All you have to do to make a freeper's head explode: announce that Newsweek has hired you to provide election commentary pieces... and your name is Markos Moultisas. This week's lesson in freeper torture comes from Kos, himself at Daily Kos). Of course, with the sweet comes the sour: who knows which fire-breathing freeper Newsweek will hire to "balance" Kos' reporting? Stay tuned.

How Do DUers Do It?

Thanks to DUer ozymandius, who keeps us all updated daily on the stock market, and the DUers who reply, keeping us informed of the play-by-play action throughout the day.

Thanks to babylonsister, marmar, and Don Davis for posting links and excerpts to current editorials and other articles we need to keep up on.

Thanks to all DUers who post in the Political Videos forum.

And, of course, thanks to the DU admins for all that they do to keep this virtual island home afloat. Without them, defeating defeatism would be much, much harder.

Feel a bit better, knowing that Republicans can be defeated by cramming their own words down their throats? By exposing their hypocrisies on a daily basis? And by supporting those who devote at least part of each day to getting the necessary information to us? Thank goodness, we have each other.

-- Delilah Boyd
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About the Blog Box
Democratic Underground's Blog Box is compiled and written by Delilah Boyd. She posts on the DU message board as displacedtexan.

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