penis, then you owe it to yourself to try Steve Martin's All-Natural Penis Beauty Cream.




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Just take a small amount and rub gently on the penis for several minutes up to a half-hour. You'll notice a difference right away. And, don't worry, a slight discoloration is normal.

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/94/94apeniscr...

My favorite DUer!

I know you're out there somewhere!

Oh, forgot the praise part. Okay, let's see....Hmmm...well, Richardo is kind to one and all, very very funny, and has the most adorable little cheeks! What's not to love?

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060323/ap_on_...

<snip>
MCKEESPORT, Pa. - For 10 years, Tanya Nicole Kach says she was told that her parents didn't want her, that she was stupid and no one cared about her but the middle school security guard who was keeping her in his home.

It took her a decade to build the confidence to come forward, but on Wednesday she finally learned the truth as she hugged her father, Jerry Kach, in a tearful reunion.

"He's crying, I'm crying. All he kept saying was, 'I got my baby,'" said Kach, now 24, clutching her father's hand. "I'm touching blood, and I get to say, 'I love you, Dad.'"

Kach said she was looking forward to seeing her mother on Thursday for the first time since February 1996, when her parents reported her missing.
<snip>

This is a very weird story. McKeesport is just outside of Pittsburgh.

This was for a work-related function, so I had the company VISA card. As I was unloading the supplies at the register, I asked the clerk: "you DO take Visa, don't you"?. Much to my shock, they do not. So I had to shell out $128.81 of my own money for that stuff. After leaving the store, I went straight to the company CFO and asked for a reimbursement check. Amazingly, he authorized the check on the spot!



Boy, my journal is really going to take off after this post!

<snip>
Cote and Kopec said they also saw the alleged groping.

"She let out a yelp and backed away," Kopec said. "That's when I knew he had actually touched her."

Kinkade testified in a deposition that excessive drinking and "some normal rowdy talk" had taken place, but when confronted with the groping allegation, he denied touching the woman.

"But you've got to remember," he said, "I'm the idol to these women who are there. They sell my work every day, you know. They're enamored with any attention I would give them. I don't know what kind of flirting they were trying to do with me. I don't recall what was going on that night."
<snip>

Emphasis added is mine. What a dickhead.

When I've been successfully doing the same seasonal project for the last fourteen fucking years, DON'T tell me that we need to "tweak" it, especially when your motherfucking "tweaking" is going to cost me not only a weekend of work, but several evenings as well, especially when I have to work all goddamn day too. And when your fucking "tweaking" doesn't work out, guess who's going to have to eat the shit sandwich over it? That's right - ME! Just because we *might* make another 500 fucking dollars. Jesus Christ, I'll GIVE YOU the 500 fucking dollars if it means that much to you. For christ fucking sake.

He's almost as cute as Richardo's beagle!

Here. Look at this picture of my shoe - it will distract you.