Hey people, guess what?

There are assholes in the world. There just are. Always have been, always will be. And they’re everywhere. They’re going to cut you off in traffic and then give you the finger, they’re going to jump ahead of you in line, they’re going lie to your face and gossip about you behind your back, they’re going to make asinine remarks about your political party, your religion or your gender, they’re going to recklessly and anonymously leave dings in your car door, they’re going to say mean things about your mother, criticize your taste in art, insult the unique aspects of your lifestyle, and manipulate you to their benefit any way they can. There are assholes in the world and they WILL push your buttons.

Some people don’t even know they are assholes. But some of them do. Some people are assholes because they have mental health issues. But most of them are assholes by default; because they were raised by assholes, it is the only way they know how to be. And now nobody else will hang out with them except other assholes. Or asshole-enablers. As firmly entrenched as most assholes are in their comprehensive asshole subculture, there is little hope that they will change, much less contemplate the counterproductivity of their assholism.

Yes, there are assholes in the world, and there’s not a goddamn thing you can do about it. You can’t wish them away, you can’t cuss them away, you can’t argue them away and you can’t kill them off. And it wouldn’t matter if you did, because just like taking a bucket of water from the ocean, there is a constant and endless supply of assholes immediately moving in to fill the void.

You can’t control the fact that there are assholes in the world. The only thing you can control is the way you react to them. You can allow their assholishness to enrage you, to devour your time and attention and energy to the point where your adrenaline spikes and your blood pressure skyrockets and three hours after the encounter stress hormones continue to flood your system, taking a toll on both the quantity and the quality of your life while you are still ranting to anyone who will listen about your latest rendezvous with an asshole. (Frankly, a lot of assholes would get a real kick out of knowing that they have that level of control over you.) Or you can acknowledge the fact that your heretofore sublime world has collided with that of an asshole, handle the situation as efficiently as possible, and then let it go. Either way, odds are that the random assholes you encounter are going to go about their asshole business without giving their excursion into your irrelevant life a second thought.

One thing is for sure, though. People who are assholes are not happy people. They are, generally speaking, the end result of ongoing and overwhelming ignorance, fear, guilt, low self-esteem and loneliness. And given an educated choice, every asshole you encounter would undoubtedly rather be free of all the negativity fueling their assholism, and have your life instead.

Just a little something to ponder the next time you encounter an asshole.

In fact the opposite is true. Life falls into a much clearer perspective for them; what is truly important, and what is not. For this reason their words are among the wisest we will ever know. And even when their words make no sense to us because they have journeyed to an inner place where time and space and earthly constraints have no bearing, that is a powerful message for us as well.

You words are as valuable to us now as they ever were, if not more so. It is our honor to hear your words for as long as you may choose to provide them. My own words are wholly inadequate to thank you for kindness to us despite your difficult circumstances.

Peace and love to you and your family.

Thank you so much for sending me one of the last copies of your book in December. I know I thanked you then, but today I need to thank you again. Your writing is remarkable: simple, honest and raw, yet gentle and profound all at once. Your words engage my heart and mind in a way that no other writer ever has. Remember when I told you that an unusual thing happened when I became immersed in "Kazuko," that I could read only so much before taking a break because the images and emotions your words conjured up were so intense that I had to come up for air before plunging back into the story again? I wasn't joking, Ed. That never happened to me in anything else I've ever read. Ever. I know you felt humbled by the fact that you never had a formal education in writing, but if anyone didn't need one, it surely was you. You had an amazing gift and a fascinating life, and I thank you for shining your wonderful light into the world for the rest of us to share. Your work will always be an inspiration to me in my own writing.

I am looking at my copy of the "Vicky Mary" now. Remember how I insisted that you autograph it for me? I'm glad I did, although today the smiley face that you drew next to your signature is bittersweet. But thank you for humoring me with your inscription. And thank you too for the PM reply you sent me eight days ago. I knew you weren't well Ed, and I guess I wanted to remain optimistic... but as I re-read the PM and now see the subtle hints you dropped amid your characteristic hopefulness... I think you knew. So it means the world to me that you took the time and made the effort to write anyway. As strong and brave in that moment as you ever were in war, Ed. How I admire your courage and wisdom.

I'm going to miss you, Ed. I'm going to miss you a lot. Your stories brightened so many of my days and your correspondence provided encouragement and support in difficult times, despite your own hardships. You taught me some important life-lessons when I most needed to learn them, primarily by setting a good example. No one could ask for a better friend than you, Ed. You made a positive difference in my life and for that I will always be grateful.

May the love and peace you’ve brought to others reflect and surround you as you continue on your journey, dear friend. With a heavy heart, I bid you À Dieu.

...about being a math idiot. He told me once that math can be a difficult subject to teach well and if you don't have good math teachers you can grow up thinking you're a "math idiot" when it might not even be true, so don't beat yourself up too badly. I never thought about it that way before, and it warmed my heart that he would reach out like that. What a sweetheart. Since that moment I was able to let go of those nagging self doubts. He made a positive difference in my life.


I will miss him for his many other positive contributions here as well.