There are days when we have bizarre encounters. Today was such a day for me. Late in the afternoon I received a call from an excited clerk in the mail room at the place I work. She was upset because one of my employees was trying to send mail to a non-existent address. “How do you know the address is invalid?” I asked. “Because there’s no zip code or state on the envelope,” she replied. What ensued is one of the most memorable conversations I have ever had.
ME: What does the envelope say?
CLERK: The first line has a name. The second line has an address. The third line has a five digit number followed by Paris, France. I can’t mail that.
ME: Why not?
CLERK: There’s no zip code.
ME: Right. Why is that a problem?
CLERK: There’s no zip code. The post office will return it.
ME: No, I’m sure that won‘t happen. They would send the envelope to France.
CLERK: No, they can‘t deliver it. France is not a state.
ME: I know. It’s a country.
CLERK: Right. We can only send mail to states.
ME: Come again?
CLERK: We can only send mail to states with zip codes. France is not a state and there’s no zip code. I don’t know what to do with this letter.
ME: I see.
CLERK: Is it OK if I just write in California as the state?
ME: Why would you want to do that?
CLERK: So they’ll deliver the letter.
ME: Where do you think it would go if you did that?
CLERK: France, California.
ME: You’re sure about that?
CLERK: Maybe. But then there’s still the problem of no zip code.
ME: But there are numbers on the envelope?
CLERK: But that’s not a zip code. You don’t put the zip code first and try to pass France off as a state.
ME: I’m fairly certain the post office will send it to the right place anyway if you just put the postage on and drop it in the mail. We’ve done it before.
CLERK: To France, California?
ME: No. Paris, France. France is in Europe.
CLERK: We can’t send no letters to Europe without a state or a zip code.
ME: But they don’t have states or zip codes. They’re different countries.
CLERK: You’re trying to tell me different countries don’t have states or zip codes!
ME: I’m fairly certain. I’ve traveled to a few countries in my life and don’t remember any of them using United States zip codes in their addresses.
CLERK: Now I’ve heard everything. That’s one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard!
ME: Would your manager happen to be available?
CLERK: I am the manager. But I don’t know for how long. You try doing your job when people keep sending you stuff with false addresses. It’s enough to make you want to pull your hair out. You tell me, how is my staff supposed to get it’s job done if we keep getting these crazy ass addresses sent down here from upstairs?
ME: You have a point there. I think you’ve helped me completely understand the situation now.
CLERK: Good. Because we can’t keep having your people sending us letters to France, California without zip codes.
ME: That is a problem.
CLERK: You got that right.
ME: How about if I drop by on my way out and pick up that letter from you. I’ll talk about this with my staff tomorrow and make sure they know to stop sending you letters to addressed to France. Would that help?
CLERK: Yes, it would. That would help. It’s good talking to someone who understands what I’m saying.
ME: You have no idea.