(Fox News) Randolph H. Hall, the attorney for Rep. Michelle Bachmann's presidential campaign, filed papers in federal court in South Carolina today, claiming the “spiritual endorsement” of the late Terry Schiavo. In a press conference carried live by Fox News, Mr. Hall stated that Schiavo, a nationally-recognized spokesperson for the Republican-Right-to-Life-Movement at the time of her murder in 2005, has sent “numerous messages” to him, indicating that she favors Rep. Bachmann's positions on pressing social issues.

Willard “Mitt” Romneys has since released a statement saying that co-sponsor Senator William Frist has determined, from watching films of Schiavo, that she actually intended to endorse the Romney campaign. Fox News has unconfirmed reports that the Romney camp is hastily preparing a “Friend of the Corpse” for filing with the federal court early tomorrow mourning.

Unconfirmed sources are speculating that Newt Gingrich will attempt to initiate an affair with Schiavo by the end of the week.