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The Diaries of Hawkeye-X
 Welcome to the Inauguration DUzy 2.0 Special. I guess out with the old, in with the new. As tonight's Chimpy McCokespoon's last night of fuckery goes on, so does DUzy. Congratulations to this week's winners!The DUzy Awards will be announced every Saturday night, if I get around to it. Previous awards can be found in JeffR's journal and my journal as well. Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD. Also, the DU admins has decided to make this DUzy a feature as well as long as it's updated. OP by Debi: What the hell is wrong with the folks at Nabisco??? ROUND NUTTER BUTTERS??? On a thread by madinmaryland: Only on Freerepublic..."Smoking Rooms Eliminated Following Erection" http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2... Only two months after smoking areas were erected at two hospitals, the desire to go smoke-free on the premises will eliminate the smoking rooms entirely and replace them with smoking shelters. NHS Lothian (Scottland) will eliminate smoking rooms at Royal Edinburgh as well as at Astley Ainslie. The will then provide smoking shelters in it's phased shut down of the indoor smoking areas. The Health Board claims the action will assist smokers in quitting. The Health Board states, "These shelters will act as a platform to promote our stop smoking services, to encourage people to seek help to give up smoking from one of our dedicated smoking cessation nurses." On a thread by 48percenter: End of an ERROR: 1-20-09, do WE get NAME CHANGE AMNESTY? response #5 by MiniMe: I believe that should be amnety  On a thread by GoddessofGuiness: I bought my mom one of those "Bush countdown" clocks a few years ago... What's it going to do when it strikes 0? (Lots of good responses here) OP by dbaker41: Anybody tried the "Angry Whopper?" I did. It was barely miffed. One good tasty bite, in the center, where they put all the jalapenos. Otherwise, I was underwhelmed. The Angry Sauce was more like Sweet Sauce. response #1 by MrCoffee: I don't want my burger to have a mood. OP by The System Stinks: BUSH ORDERS AIR STRIKES AGAINST CANADA Declares ‘War on Avian Terror’ President Bush, citing intelligence reports linking al Qaeda to a vast Canadian ‘suicide bird’ training network, today ordered air strikes against 6-8 suspected aviaries and wildlife preserves in Canada as retaliation for the apparent suicide geese attack against U.S. Airways flight 1549 this afternoon. “I know nobody was killed, thank God,” the visibly angry lame-duck told a hastily convened White House press conference, “but that was due to the heroic efforts of the pilot and crew. It’s obvious that the intention of these foul fowl was to kill Americans. Besides, do you have any idea of the impact on rush hour traffic?” The President also had a stern warning for Canada as well as any other countries that might harbor what he referred to as “extremist terror nests”: “Our actions will be swift, and they will be severe,” he emphasized, “and your birds and larger flying insects are either with us or they are against us. But let me be perfectly clear about one thing – and you can mark my words on this — we will exterminate them over there so we won’t have to exterminate them over here.” The President then outlined intelligence reports indicating that in recent months, suspected al Qaeda operatives had approached both government officials and black market sources in Canada, Greenland, and several Central and South American countries “in an effort to procure large numbers of dangerous birds which they would use to bring American air traffic to a standstill.” He also added, “And I think anybody who’s seen that Hitchcock movie knows their long-term agenda is probably even more sinister.” Rest of Story at: http://thedesperateblogger.wordpress.com/2... / (Ed note: This will be the only time I'll be awarding The System Stinks a DUzy because his writing is actually satire, and I will not accept any other noms with him - have too many! This one is too good to let go!) On a thread by Cat Woman: UPS delivers $10,000 of weed response #1 by Teh_Rabble_Rouser: What can you do for brown? OP by Bucky: Good God, everybody, just stop! Now start back up again. response #1 by Techbear_Seattle: Why? Is it Hammer Time? On a thread by EconomicLiberal: **************'s Final Address Thread #1************* Get ready to puke  response #79 by peekaloo: he still can't give a book report without tripping over his tongue OP by scheming daemons: So when does Air Force 1 take off with * on his last ride on the damn thing. And could that be visible from the Mall? That would be a could be a good condition, for maybe the most participants in a "Moon," in the history of the universe. response #17 by jberryhill: As a tribute, they are releasing a flock of geese ahead the plane /nt http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu... OP by proud2Blib: Man offended by Buddha statue at zoo - but it isn't Buddha The statues of “Buddha” at the Kansas City Zoo that offended an Overland Park man are not images of Buddha at all, according to a local lama. “I have seen them,” said Lama Chuck Stanford, executive and spiritual director of the Rime Buddhist Center. “They are statues of Ho Tai, the patron saint of children in China and Japan. He is closer to Santa Claus.” The Overland Park man, whose family are Christians, complained to a zoo employee after he saw people rubbing the bellies and heads of the statues at the entrance to the Tiger Trail area of the zoo. http://www.kansascity.com/637/story/981921... response #30 by kenny blankenship: He's raisin' the roof clearly an invitation to "burn the muthafucka down". Why should good Christian children be exposed to that? http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu... OP by kentuck : Please have pity on me and show a little sympathy.  Never mind that I screwed you and your country for eight years. I did whatever I wanted. I tortured prisoners. I sent them to other countries to be tortured. I lied to the American people so I could invade Iraq and get rid of that tyrant, Saddam. I spied on whomever I wanted to. I ignored the Constitution. After all, it is nothing but a piece of paper. I used Karl Rove and my propaganda machine to the fullest extent. I destroyed the American economy and free markets will never be the same again. I turned the whole world against America. I flew onto the deck of an aircraft and declared that the Mission was Accomplished. Just when the entire country of Iraq was about to collapse, I decided to bribe our enemies, the Sunnis, with American tax dollars by the billions. We called it the "surge" but it was nothing more than an outright bribe. Please have pity on me and show a little sympathy. Please? response #3 by ColbertWatcher: He wants sympathy from me?? He can look it up in my dictionary. . . It's between the words shit and syphilis. OP title by Are_grits_groceries : Krispy Kreme To Celebrate Inauguration With Donut Giveaway Hey there true American, Krispy Kreme wants to help celebrate the inauguration of your new President by giving you a free donut. Or as Krispy Kreme, defender of America as the land of the obese would probably prefer to rebrand them, freedom bagels. Here's how it works: Obama is inaugurated and you get a donut. The Inauguration Day promotional offer is good for one doughnut of choice per customer on Jan. 20. No purchase is necessary. To find a participating store near you, visit Krispy Kreme's Store Locator: http://www.krispykreme.com/storelocator.ht... http://consumerist.com Yum!! A great day gets better.......... response #5 by Warren Stupidity: OP question bydevilgrrl: Will Bush staffers trash the offices like Clinton's staffers were accused of? I'm guessing that they actually will. response #11 by devilgrrl: They'll carve backwards Bs on the desks  GD, Jan 16, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu... OP by anigbrowl: Abortion Donuts http://blogs.miaminewtimes.com/riptide/200... Has to be read to be believed. this is what happens when money and mental illness coincide. Poll question by lynyrd_skynyrd: When you were between the ages of 7 and 18, did you EVER steal ANYTHING? It's the Internet. Try to be honest. In other words, I expect zero "No" answers.  Yes No (And I'm a liar)response #7 by callchet: I voted no and I don't lie . (Ed note: the series of responses after that is funny as hell! And JeffR personally nominated this!) GD, Jan 16, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu... OP by undeterred: Rep. King: Obama should skip middle name in oath When I got to work today, that's what the guys were talking about... the facility manager asked for a recommendation.  response #39 by pipi_k: Peter Fuckin' King....??? wow... Fuckin'...that's a hell of a middle name he's got there...I guess his parents didn't like him much response #40 by annabanana: (It's honorary) He earned it. Latest Breaking News, Jan 17, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu... Poll question by bridgit: Are DU 'picture threads' relevant to your interests? Extremely Relvevant Somewhat Relvevant Relevant Neutral Irrelevant Somewhat Irrelevant Extremely Irrelevant No Opinion Other Other: verbatim response requested less than 25 words response #1 by petronius: Absolutely! Whenever I see a new pic thread I cover the windows with tin foil, put on my spiderman costume and bunny ears, turn on the ceiling-mounted disco ball, and pleasure myself until I bleed...  (Think about that image, people, next time you start a pic thread!) OP by BlooInBloo: FREE THE DUCK!!!!! graywarrior promised the duck would be freed on the 20th! Hold her to that!!!! That's right, I said another DUers name.  (Lots of funny responses here!) OP by RamboLiberal: Sully's next flight could be to the inauguration Source: NY Daily News AND NOW...he rescues the economy? Not likely - but heroic US Airways Capt. Chesley Sullenberger may add Washington to his itinerary, attending the Tuesday inauguration of President Obama. "We'd love to go," his wife, Lorrie, said yesterday on CBS' "The Early Show." "It's in the works, I believe." The President-elect made a congratulatory phone call Friday to the fearless flier, the latest in a continuing string of tributes for Sullenberger. Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2... ----- While meeting the new President would be thrilling, Lorrie Sullenberger said her two teen daughters had different motives for an inaugural trip. "Our daughters would love to go see the Jonas Brothers," she said. response #3 by Tangerine LaBamba: Is he bringing the giant talking testicle with legs?  response #4 by Goat or Panic: What does Cheney have to do with it? When was the last time one exploded in the microwave? OP by glinda: Labradoodle is NOT a dog Breed but a continuing experiment with bad results I am shocked that Obama would even consider allowing his daughter to have her way to get a "Designer" dog instead of teaching her to be responsible. Wiki the Labradoodle and you will see the genetic issues involved with this breed as well as the unpredictability of temperament. To breed a dog to help the blind originally now suffers from loosing it's sight! After having two pure-bred rescued Wheaten Terriers with un-docked tails, both calm and smart, why can't they just get a Wheaten? They look almost near identical to a Labradoodle. Geeeze. I thought he was smarter than that. response #119 by jmowreader: Or a cocky, shitty rotten poo Cross a shih-tzu with a cocker to get a cock-a-shit, then cross a Rottweiler with a standard Poodle to get a rotten-poo. Finally, cross the offspring of these two atrocities to get a cocky, shitty, rotten poo. If you can think of a worse combination I'd like to hear it. This mutt would not only be meaner than Barbara Bush, he'd be strong enough to kill the person who pissed him off.  OP by EarlG: ONLY YOU CAN STOP GEORGE W. BUSH! General Discussion, Jan 13, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu... OP by krispos: The temp outside is "fuuuuuuuuuuck" The Lounge, Jan 5, 2009http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/dubo... OP by redqueen: I just accidentally a coca cola bottle is this bad? GD, Jan 13, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu... On a thread by firedupdem: Meet Baby Tripp response #1 by DJ13 GDP, December 29, 2008: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu... I'll begin with a few key articles and threads in which McCain is a failure:
New York Times: "McCain Wrong on Iraq Security, Merchants Say" Note: this will be one of my many posts against McCain. I'm literally finished with Hillary, and we all know that Mr. Obama will be the nominee, so we must make an effort to help him in many matters and this post is among one of them. This also will be cross-referenced in the Research Forum for further open-edit. Let's begin: Topic of the week: Iraq  Byline: Kirk Semple - April 3, 2007 BAGHDAD, April 2 — A day after members of an American Congressional delegation led by Senator John McCain pointed to their brief visit to Baghdad’s central market as evidence that the new security plan for the city was working, the merchants there were incredulous about the Americans’ conclusions. “What are they talking about?” Ali Jassim Faiyad, the owner of an electrical appliances shop in the market, said Monday. “The security procedures were abnormal!” The delegation arrived at the market, which is called Shorja, on Sunday with more than 100 soldiers in armored Humvees — the equivalent of an entire company — and attack helicopters circled overhead, a senior American military official in Baghdad said. The soldiers redirected traffic from the area and restricted access to the Americans, witnesses said, and sharpshooters were posted on the roofs. The congressmen wore bulletproof vests throughout their hourlong visit. “They paralyzed the market when they came,” Mr. Faiyad said during an interview in his shop on Monday. “This was only for the media.” My comment: McCain has returned to Iraq today - and it's still fucking UNSAFE. See this link from today http://thinkprogress.org/2008/03/16/mccain... / On April 1, 2007, Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) strolled through the open-air Shorja market in Baghdad in an effort to prove that Americans are “not getting the full picture” of what’s going on in Iraq. In a press conference after his Baghdad tour, McCain told a reporter that his visit to the market was proof that people could “walk freely” in parts of Baghdad. What McCain failed to mention was that he was accompanied by “100 American soldiers, with three Blackhawk helicopters, and two Apache gunships overhead.” He also appeared to be wearing a bulletproof vest during his visit. Since that trip, McCain has claimed that the situation in Iraq has improved even more. A few months ago, McCain claimed that “we’ve succeeded militarily” in Iraq. Things, of course, are going so well, that he wants to keep U.S. troops there for at least 100 years. McCain is now back in Iraq for a “surprise visit with Iraqi and American diplomatic and military leaders.” He is joined by fellow Iraq war defenders Sens. Joe Lieberman (I-CT) and Lindsey Graham (R-SC). But it’s unlikely they will be visiting the Shorja market again. Today, CNN reported that they tried to visit the Shorja market, but it was too unsafe and they were unable to go: We got close to that marketplace today, Jim, but our own security advisers here in Iraq did not want us to go there. They didn’t believe it was safe for an American to be in that area. We were in a thriving marketplace nearby. But when you show up, the local Iraqis, while it is clear security is better on the street — it is clear there are more markets open, just the traffic jams alone tell you that things are better on the streets of Baghdad — it’s also a very sensitive potential neighborhoods. That one marketplace, as a matter of fact, you do see Iraqi police, you do see the Iraqi army, but in truth, that area is controlled by the radical cleric Moqtada al Sadr’s Mahdi army. My comment: Once again, McCain is probably trying to use Iraq to 'boost' his Commander in Chief wannabe creds, and he doesn't really have any. He had absolutely no reason to waste taxpayer's money on this, and look who also went with him, and made it unsafer, actually.  http://www.courant.com/news/politics/hc-li... My comment: No wonder why Lieberman's butkissing McCain. A defiant Democratic-controlled Senate passed legislation Thursday that would require the start of troop withdrawals from Iraq by Oct. 1, propelling Congress toward a historic veto showdown with President Bush on the war. And guess where McCain was?  Certainly not to be seen. McCain Skips Senate Vote DES MOINES, Iowa – John McCain has gone his own way again. An ardent supporter of President Bush’s plan to send another 21,500 troops into Iraq, the senator, well known for his maverick streak, stayed on the presidential campaign trail rather than return to Washington for a rare Saturday session of the Senate called for a vote to begin debate on the president’s plan. All day Saturday, the Republican presidential contender was hosting town meetings in Iowa, the home of the nation’s first presidential caucuses next January. The House, like the Senate controlled by Democrats, approved a nonbinding resolution Friday rejecting the president’s plan, 246 to 182. And Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, D-Nev., tried, but failed, to begin debate on a similar measure Saturday. The motion required 60 votes, but got only 56. http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0207/... My comment: Oh, and I found something very interesting: McCain, hawk on Iraq, getting antiwar vote Republicans who dislike Bush back him DEERFIELD BEACH, Fla. - John McCain, the Republican Party's most relentless and unapologetic guardian of an enduring American presence in Iraq, has become the favored candidate of antiwar voters in the Republican primaries, according to exit polls. In New Hampshire, McCain overwhelmingly won the votes of the one-third of Republican-primary voters who told exit pollsters they "strongly" or "somewhat" oppose the war, and trailed Mitt Romney by over 20 points among those who strongly support it. In Michigan, where McCain lost to Romney, the Arizona senator also carried antiwar voters while losing among those backing the conflict. The unlikely base of support for McCain, who once summarized his unyielding resistance to the antiwar cause with the slogan "No Surrender," has been central to his campaign's resurgence. Both analysts and staffers acknowledge it is evidence of how much McCain has succeeded in winning over voters on the basis of his personal qualities while often failing to convince them of his policy positions - even on an issue McCain has made his campaign's signature cause. "People know this is someone who knows the possibilities and limits of military action and would not take those steps lightly," said Steve Duprey, McCain's New Hampshire vice chairman, explaining the senator's appeal to antiwar voters. For much of last year, McCain's support for the war in Iraq appeared to threaten his prospects among independents, Democrats, and moderate Republicans. McCain has repeatedly said then he would "much rather lose a political campaign than lose a war." On the day of the Michigan primary, he raised the stakes. "I would rather lose a career than lose a war," he said in Traverse City. http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles... / McCain has repeatedly said then he would "much rather lose a political campaign than lose a war." On the day of the Michigan primary, he raised the stakes. "I would rather lose a career than lose a war," he said in Traverse City. Once again, McCain failed to do his senatorial duty and represent the fine citizens of Arizona which I was formerly one (Tucson, AZ) - and went off the track. Please feel free to add more articles/threads/ideas of what the next few topics should be. Next week's topic will be his general health (IF the post is well-received otherwise, I'm wasting my time) Hawkeye-X Reposted with permission from FrenchieCat - thanks!
Original post modified for emphasis and includes links of articles of said fundraiser Courtesy of The New Republic, here's a small sampling of what to expect should Clinton go up against McCain. Compare it to Obama's transactions with Rezko. Talk about rolling the dice - Bill Shaheen said that Obama could be a drug dealer for all we know. Well, here's a few things we DO know THE DONOR Norman Hsu, Hong Kong "apparel executive." THE GREEN Hsu bundled more than $850,000 for Hillary's presidential campaign and $260,000 for Clinton's Senate races. THE SCANDAL Hsu parlayed his charming, obsequious personality into a spot as one of the top twenty Democratic fund-raisers nationwide. Problem is, he turned out to be a convicted felon, on the lam since 1992 due to a grand theft conviction. Then, this December, Hsu was indicted for running a pyramid scheme that defrauded investors out of at least $20 million and that made $25,000 a year in fraudulent political donations. THE SLEAZE FACTOR (on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 somewhat sleazy and 10 stupendously so) 8. Hsu missed his initial (September 5) court date for the 1992 grand theft charge, only to be apprehended a day later on a train in Colorado; he was "freaked out," shirtless, shoeless, and holding a suitcase packed with Tiffany jewelry and $7,000 in cash. Now in federal custody, he confessed to running "phony" companies and leaning on investors to make political donations. THE DAMAGE TO THE CLINTONS (on a scale of 1 to 10) 7. Extensive Hsu coverage stretched out over several news cycles during Hillary's presidential campaign, and the sordid details of the affair--the pyramid schemes, the links to Asian gangs, the eccentric professional con artist himself--stirred up memories of Clinton fund-raising scandals past. Hillary blamed the fiasco on errors in THE DONOR-screening process.  THE DONOR Marc Rich, fugitive American businessman; Denise Rich, songwriter and socialite. THE GREEN Denise Rich contributed $70,000 to Hillary's Senate campaign and $450,000 to the Clinton presidential library fund. THE SCANDAL Over seventeen years after Marc Rich fled to Switzerland to avoid charges of racketeering, illegal trading, and tax evasion (he owed $48 million), Bill Clinton pardoned Rich during his last moments in the White House. His ex-wife Denise's generous donations and Friend of Bill status gave the pardon a particularly rotten stench. THE SLEAZE FACTOR 7.5. Rich has been accused of a long list of white-collar crimes. The classiest: trading with Iran while the country was still holding U.S. hostages. THE DAMAGE TO THE CLINTONS 9.5. As Hillary began her career in the Senate, a media frenzy and investigations in both houses of Congress and the Justice Department were launched to see if Denise's contributions bought her ex-husband's pardon. Though the president was never indicted for wrongdoing, the Rich affair is often mentioned as Exhibit A of Clintonian sliminess. THE DONOR Aaron Tonken, former Hollywood fund-raiser, current federal penitentiary inmate in California. THE GREEN In 2000 he hosted a fund-raiser that took in more than $1 million for Hillary Clinton's Senate campaign. THE SCANDAL Tonken originally drew interest from the FBI for failing to report some donations from the event to the FEC. Although he was never charged for election-law violations, in 2003 he pleaded guilty to stealing from charities, including, according to an ABC News report, the Betty Ford clinic. He is currently serving a five-year sentence for mail and wire fraud. THE SLEAZE FACTOR 9. The self-described con man got his start in Hollywood as Zsa Zsa Gabor's dog keeper. He sold stories about her to tabloids and snuck tourists into her dilapidated, dog feces-ridden mansion while she was out of town. In his memoir, King of Cons, Tonken wrote, "In a land of moral imbeciles, I knew I could be king." THE DAMAGE TO THE CLINTONS 4. A fund-raising committee for Hillary Clinton's 2000 campaign had to pay $35,000 in fines to the FEC for underreporting the costs of the gala, even though a federal inquiry failed to find any culpability on the Clintons' part. The financial burden to the Clinton campaign was insignificant--the real harm done was in the image of guilt by association. THE DONOR Sant S. Chatwal, founder of Bombay Palace restaurants. THE GREEN In 2000, Chatwal hosted a half-million dollar fund-raiser for Clinton in New York. In 2007, he declared his intentions to raise $5 million for Hillary's presidential campaign. THE SCANDAL According to The Washington Post, as of September 2007, The IRS was pursuing him for $4 million in back taxes, the State of New York for another $5 million, and the FDIC is suing himin connection with a failed bank venture. The Post wrote, "Yet none of the legal and financial woes--occasionally touched on in American or Indian newspapers or highlighted by political opponents--raised red flags inside Hillary Clinton's fund-raising operation." THE SLEAZE FACTOR 4. Though Chatwal's legal troubles span several suits and two continents (he's also been charged with bank fraud in India), his alleged crimes lack the color and imagination of, say, a Peter F. Paul. THE DAMAGE TO THE CLINTONS 1. So far, none. But if any of the lawsuits against him come to a head during election season, the timing would be awful for Clinton. THE DONOR International Profit Associates (IPA), an Illinois-based management consulting and business development company. THE GREEN Bill Clinton pocketed $125,000 for addressing IPA workers in December 2001. The Chicago Sun-Times reported that firm employees have forked over nearly $130,000 in contributions to Hillary's Senate campaigns since 2000. THE SCANDAL IPA has faced a string of scandals--most notably, a widely reported sexual harassment suit involving 113 former female employees. Two of them told their stories on a 2005 episode of "Oprah Winfrey Show." THE SLEAZE FACTOR 8.5. The harassment suit included accusations that the CEO offered money to a female employee in exchange for sex and that a sales manager would pin female employees up against the wall and ask if they enjoyed intercourse. THE DAMAGE TO THE CLINTONS 3. Though never a large-scale national scandal, it doesn't look good that Hillary has, in effect, shrugged off what the lead attorney for the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (the federal agency leading the investigation) called one of the "most egregious case of sex harassment that the Chicago district office has seen." Senator Clinton--unlike other politicians who received campaign donations from IPA employees, such as Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich and Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle--has opted not to return the contributions. THE REELECTION FUND-RAISING FIASCO The tangled web of scandals associated with the Clinton-Gore reelection campaign in 1996 led to hearings by a Senate committee led by Fred Thompson. Though Thompson's hearings are widely considered to have been a bust, several unsavory characters came to light. THE DONOR Yah Lin "Charlie" Trie, Taiwanese-Arkansan restaurateur-turned-fund-raiser. THE GREEN Trie funnelled more than $2.2 million, much of it from foreign corporate donors, to the DNC from 1994-1996 and helped pay $460,000 of the Clintons' legal bills between 1994-1997. THE SCANDAL Trie, who knew Clinton from his days as the owner of the Fu Lin restaurant in Little Rock, moved to Washington in 1994 and began donating to the Clintons and the DNC through various shady channels, including through "straw donors," typically poor legal immigrants who stand in for foreign businesspeople. THE SLEAZE FACTOR 7. Trie was notorious for peddling access to President Clinton. Most distressingly, he set up a White House coffee klatch with a Chinese arms dealer. THE DAMAGE TO THE CLINTONS 7. Trie earned the dubious distinction of being the first Clinton donor indicted during the Justice Department's 1997 campaign finance investigation. THE DONOR John Huang, businessman and Commerce Department official under the Clinton administration from 1993 to 1995. THE GREEN He raised $3.4 million for the DNC in 1996. Most of it has since been returned. THE SCANDAL In 1996 Huang solicited an illegal donation of $250,000 from a company in South Korea, as well as $425,000 from donors whose U.S. citizenship was an issue of contention. He also co-organized a 1996 fund-raising event at the Hsi Lai Temple in Southern California, where monks and nuns under an oath of poverty mysteriously contributed large sums of money to the DNC. It was later revealed that they were reimbursed for their donations by the church, and the money had to be returned. THE SLEAZE FACTOR 7.5. Thompson's committee suggested darkly that Huang may have been acting as an "agent of influence" for China, though the committee ultimately had scant evidence supporting the plot. THE DAMAGE TO THE CLINTONS 8. Considerable. Though the money he raised was primarily for the DNC, Huang had remarkable access to the president and the West Wing. The Commerce Department even gave him a top-secret security clearance--with a cursory background check far less thorough than normal procedure--when he was still a private citizen. THE DONOR James Riady, Indonesian banking magnate. THE GREEN Riady and his business associates gave more than $700,000 to the Democratic Party between 1991 and 1997. They also paid $100,000 to Clinton friend Webster L. Hubbell, who resigned from his job as associate attorney general after being charged with tax evasion and mail fraud. THE SCANDAL Riady, a regular visitor to the Clinton White House, was busted by the Justice Department in 2001 for funneling foreign corporate money into Clinton's 1992 election effort. (He had to pay out $8.6 million to the DOJ--the largest campaign finance settlement in history.) In 1997, the Thompson-led committee accused Riady of maintaining "a long-term relationship with a Chinese intelligence agency." THE SLEAZE FACTOR 7. Riady was a big fund-raiser for Bill from his Arkansas days, and repeatedly pressed Clinton on sensitive foreign policy issues. Riady was also closely linked to a number of other scandals, including the improper appointment of John Huang (a former manager at Riady's company) and the Hsi Lai Temple fund-raiser (which was organized by Huang). THE DAMAGE TO THE CLINTONS 6. In 1997, pre-cigar, William Safire called the Riady affair "the low point of the Clinton Presidency." Still, his name is all but forgotten today. THE DONOR Johnny Chung, a Taiwan-born, California-based businessman. THE GREEN He gave $366,000 in personal and corporate donations between 1994 and 1996. All the money was returned by the DNC. THE SCANDAL Chung's contributions to the Democratic Party earned him significant access to the Clinton administration: He made at least 49 visits to the White House between 1994 and 1996. He arranged for five of his Chinese business clients to attend a taping of one of President Clinton's weekly radio addresses after making a $50,000 donation to the DNC. Furthermore, Chung claimed that part of his donated funds came from sources connected to the Chinese government. (The Chinese government emphatically denies the allegations.) THE SLEAZE FACTOR 7. Ick! One radioactively slimy Chung quote: "The White House is like a subway: You have to put in coins to open gates." THE DAMAGE TO THE CLINTONS 7. Chung was one of the most recognizable--and damning-- figures in the campaign finance controversy; 49 White House visits will have that effect. THE DONOR Roger Tamraz, a Lebanese-American businessman. THE GREEN Tamraz and his company donated $300,000 to the Democratic Party in 1995 and 1996. THE SCANDAL In 1996, Tamraz apparently sought to leverage his donations into a face-to-face meeting with President Clinton over the objections of a National Security Council staff member. Members of the Democratic National Committee, the CIA, and the Clinton administration were all alleged to have gone to bat on Tamraz's behalf to allow him access to the White House. Tamraz then used the meeting to propose a $2.5-billion oil pipeline through Central Asia, a proposal that was then passed on to officials in the Energy Department. (Nothing ever came of it.) He was later a key witness at the Thompson committee hearings. THE SLEAZE FACTOR 7. Know when your reputation could use a boost? When The New York Times writes sentences about you like this: "Indeed, in describing Mr. Tamraz in testimony on Wednesday and again today, the adjective used most often by lawmakers was 'shady.'" (It didn't help that when Joe Lieberman asked Tamraz at the Senate hearing if he thought he got his "money's worth" for his $300,000 donation, Tamraz replied "I think next time I'll give $600,000.") Also, at the time of his meeting with Clinton, Tamraz was wanted by Interpol for allegedly embezzling hundreds of millions of dollars from a Beirut bank. In a separate case before that, the Times reported, a French court had ordered him to pay $56 million for his role in the collapse of a French bank. THE DAMAGE TO THE CLINTONS 3.5. Not so bad in the context of the larger scandals. But Tamraz's name continues to surface from time to time, most recently on the best-seller list and the movie marquee. The saga of a man (modeled after Tamraz) using cash to gain access and influence in the White House appeared in former CIA agent Robert Baer's book See No Evil, which served as the inspiration for Syriana. HONORABLE MENTIONS So many donors, so little time. Here, other donors who have sullied the Clintons' reputation over the years. Jeffrey Epstein: In 2002, the wealthy money-manager and Friend of Bill flew the former president in his private jet to Africa to discuss AIDS policy. He was recently indicted on charges of soliciting prostitution from underage girls. The Smoking Gun has the gruesome details. (Warning: Link is disgusting.) John K.H. Lee: The South Korean businessman scored a meeting with President Clinton in 1996 after making a $250,000 donation to the DNC. Under U.S. federal election law, foreign companies and individuals are not permitted to make donations, but Lee tried to skirt the restriction by donating via a U.S. subsidiary of his company, which, problematically, didn't really exist. When it was discovered in September 1996 that the money had originated from Lee's South Korea-based parent company, the DNC returned the contribution. Pauline Kanchanalak: Kanchanalak, a business executive and Democratic fund-raiser who met frequently with President Clinton, was sentenced to six months of house arrest in 1996 for funneling $690,000 of foreign contributions to the DNC. She claimed the money came from her in-laws. Ng Lap Seng: The businessman and owner of Macau's Fortuna Hotel (per The Washington Post, "known as much for its prostitutes working the lobby as for its floor show of whip-wielding, leather-clad dancers upstairs") wired more than one million dollars to convicted Clinton donor Charlie Trie between 1994 and 1996 through a company the two co-owned--nearly a quarter of that money ended up in the DNC's hands. Ng attended DNC events and met with the Clintons at the White House. Abdul Rehman Jinnah: According to the Los Angeles Times, this Pakistani immigrant raised more than $45,000 for Hillary Clinton's HillPac, allegedly reimbursing employees who contributed to Democratic causes, including Clinton's political action committee, which is illegal. He fled to Pakistan after a grand jury indicted him for violations of election law in 2006, and was placed on the FBI "featured fugitives" list. He returned to the U.S. last year. Ron Burkle: He's never been accused of any crimes, but Ron Burkle lies at the center of any innuendo about Bill Clinton's post-presidential life. A much-commented-upon May 2006 New York Times article stated, "Mr. Clinton is rarely without company in public, yet the company he keeps rarely includes his wife. Nights out find him zipping around Los Angeles with his bachelor buddy, Ronald W. Burkle." The zippy Burkle, friends with Bill since 1992, often flies the former president in his private Boeing 575, described by Clinton as "Ron Air" and "Air Force Two." Burkle, also reportedly a "longtime friend" of Michael Jackson, has thrown lavish fund-raisers for Hillary at Green Acres, his Hollywood estate. Rumors abound about the supermarket billionaire's private life. "Page Six" covered Bill's bachelor buddy unfavorably, writing that he used the jet to entertain young models--and that he was dating Gisele Bundchen. Burkle then made headlines by secretly recording an alleged extortion attempt by a reporter for the gossip column. He has also been accused of using his influence as a Democratic donor to speed a law through the California legislature that would have kept the records of his messy divorce proceedings sealed. Bill Clinton has been a senior advisor to Burkle's Yucaipa Cos. since early 2002. Clinton is only now trying to untangle himself from the company, a move that will simultaneously free him from questions about Yucaipa's ties to Dubai, while also netting a reported $20 million payday. One particularly shady deal Clinton's scheduler helped Yucaipa arrange was its investment in Catholic Church properties at the urging of a young Italian businessman named Raffaello Follieri. As The Wall Street Journal reported last fall, in 2005, Follieri intimated to Clinton aide Douglas Band that Yucaipa could make a killing on the deal--and that his ties to the Vatican would smooth the transaction. Yucaipa plowed as much as $100 million into the venture, and Band was paid a $400,000 "finder's fee" by Follieri. The Italian then spent Yucaipa's cash on an apartment in New York, private jets, and gifts for himself and his girlfriend, The Devil Wears Prada star Anne Hathaway. Burkle is currently suing Follieri for misappropriating at least $1.3 million. |
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