This summer, thousands of gay and lesbian Californians will celebrate their first anniversary as married couples. I’m one of them.

My wife and I are also celebrating the ninth anniversary of our civil union in Vermont, which became invalid as soon as we moved to California. And we’re celebrating the 18th anniversary of our first date, and the 17th anniversary of deciding to live together.

We are still married, but until full marriage equality is secured, we’ll be carrying a variety of paperwork (copies of wills, powers of attorney, our California registered domestic-partnership agreement and our marriage license) in a folder with us whenever we travel. We’ve needed the documents from time to time.

For example, when my wife had a stroke in 2007, I was asked in the emergency room what our relationship was.

“We’re domestic partners,” I said.

“Can you bring in a copy of the paperwork on that?” asked the nurse. And as soon as my wife was stable, I did. It’s not like they were mean about it (in fact, props to Sutter General Hospital for taking such good care of us), but I had to wonder, how many married people are asked to present their papers?

I found out when we made another trip to the ER last month. The doctor walked in, asked a few questions, then turned to me.

“And your relationship to the patient is … ?”

“We’re married,” I said.

“OK.”

It’s that simple.