On a thread by Puzzler: Palin: "I’ve never thought I needed a title before one’s name to forge progress in America"

      DrToast: Then what was 'Miss Alaska' about?

GD, July 4, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by grantcart: Soon to be former Gov Palin "calls an audible" "passes the ball" and "swings for the fences"

Wounded soldiers taught me to quit my office and not fulfill my oath of office

This (only slightly rephrased) and other lessons from the fractured mind of a sick woman.

Swinging for the fences Governor Palin passes the ball and breaks the record book with an impressive 34 (you betcha! 34) idiotic statements all crammed into a single press conference. It was an extra ordinary achievement in dissassembling in front of a national audience. It was laced with all kinds of completely mindless statments.

It included enough non sequitors to fill an entire campaign. The principal thrust of the non sequitors was that her action made sense because it was "not politics as usual". By that same use of logic conducting business in the governor's office in the nude would be as intelligent as resigning in the middle of the term that you took the oath of office for.

The principle 'reason' that was offered, and reason here being in its most tortured incarnation, was that continuing as a lame duck public official was simply a waste of tax payer money. Of course if that were true it would mean that she would be against term limits and would have to endorse removing the 22nd Ammendment.

It was absolutely shameless and insulting. She used her children repeatedly as props for quitting, just as she did in using them for her political ambitions.

The absolute low point however was when she asserted that her visiting with wounded military personnel she learned by their dedication and refusal to quit that she should immediately quit public office and not fill out the term for which she took the oath of office.


Full video and text: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/03/s...

Here is how they break down:

Non Sequitor (1)(6)(8)(10)(12)(16)(18)(20)(30)(31)(32)(33)
Strawman (13)(14)(15)(21)(27)
Amateur Observations (2)(4)(23)
Idiotic Statements (3)(5)(9)(17)(22)(29)(34)
Outright Fabrication (7)(11)
Felonious use of an Analogy (19)
Gratuitous use of children (24)(25)(26)
Gratuitous use of military personnel (28)


1)People who know me know that besides faith and family, nothing's more important to me than our beloved Alaska. Serving her people is the greatest honor I could imagine.

(Obviously if that were true she wouldn't be resigning from the greatest honor she could imagine. Her imaginiation is taking her to higher honors in raking in money and running for greater offices)


2) But you don't hear much of the good stuff in the press anymore, do you?

(Reminds you of the Student Body President complaining that the school newspaper didn't appreciate the Prom DJ.)

3) Some say things changed for me on August 29th last year - the day John McCain tapped me to be his running-mate - I say others changed.

(Others changed? What the hell does that even mean?)

4) Political operatives descended on Alaska last August, digging for dirt. The ethics law I championed became their weapon of choice.

(Those damned ethics laws can be so inconvenient)

5) Over the past nine months I've been accused of all sorts of frivolous ethics violations - such as holding a fish in a photograph, . . . and answering reporters' questions.

(Yes the people seriously were concerned about you holding a fish and answering questions)

6) It's pretty insane - my staff and I spend most of our day dealing with THIS instead of progressing our state now. I know I promised no more "politics as usual," but THIS isn't what anyone had in mind for ALASKA.

(This actually is what "politics as usual" looks like when its played by 6th graders.)

7) I choose NOT to tear down and waste precious time; but to build UP this state and our country, and her industrious, generous, patriotic, free people!

(All you did during the campaign was to try and tear down people. Firing the head of the State Troopers for not getting involved in you family business was 100% not building people up)

8) Life is too short to compromise time and resources... it may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: "Sit down and shut up", but that's the worthless, easy path; that's a quitter's way out.

(Actually quitting is the quitter's way out and that is what you just did)

9) only dead fish "go with the flow".

(Actually everything that is carried in the water "goes with the flow")

10) And there is such a need to BUILD up and FIGHT for our state and our country. I choose to FIGHT for it! And I'll work hard for others who still believe in free enterprise and smaller government; strong national security for our country and support for our troops; energy independence; and for those who will protect freedom and equality and LIFE...

(Quitting as Governor is not choosing to 'fight for it')

11) I WILL support others who seek to serve, in or out of office, for the RIGHT reasons, and I don't care what party they're in or no party at all. Inside Alaska - or Outside Alaska.

(Your actions have shown you to be the most partisan of hacks, performing for people in your party is your only reason for existence in politics.)

12) But I won't do it from the Governor's desk.

(You will 'fight' but 'fighting' for noble objectives from the Governor's desk has somehow become unseemly. How come it wasn't unseemly when you took the oath of office.)

13) I've never believed that I, nor anyone else, needs a title to do this - to make a difference... to HELP people. So I choose, for my State and my family, more "freedom" to progress, all the way around... so that Alaska may progress... I will not seek re-election as Governor.

(Actually being Governor entails significant constitutional authority beyond having a "title")

14) I thought about how much fun some governors have as lame ducks... travel around the state, to the Lower 48 (maybe), overseas on international trade - as so many politicians do.

(Obviously simply because some governors waste their time as 'lame ducks' it doesn't follow that all lame duck Governors make no contribution.)

15) And then I thought - that's what's wrong - many just accept that lame duck status, hit the road, draw the paycheck, and "milk it". I'm not putting Alaska through that - I promised efficiencies and effectiveness! ? That's not how I am wired. I am not wired to operate under the same old "politics as usual." I promised that four years ago - and I meant it.

(Again an incredibly idiotic 'false choice' strawman. Just because others 'milk it' does not follow that a lame duck governor cannot fulfill their constitutional duties. This statement, if it had any reason to it, would be an argument against term limits, one your right wing friends' most treasured policy objectives.)

16) I am determined to take the right path for Alaska even though it is unconventional and not so comfortable.

(How is quiting taking Alaska down the 'right path'?)

17) With this announcement that I am not seeking re-election... I've determined it's best to transfer the authority of governor to Lieutenant Governor Parnell; and I am willing to do so, so that this administration - with its positive agenda, its accomplishments, and its successful road to an incredible future - can continue without interruption and with great administrative and legislative success.

(not transfering the authority of governor to the LG, you are quitting and letting the LG become the Governor)

18) My choice is to take a stand and effect change - not hit our heads against the wall and watch valuable state time and money, millions of your dollars, go down the drain in this new environment.

(Quitting is not 'taking a stand' and takes you out as a change agent)

19) Let me go back to a comfortable analogy for me - sports... basketball. I use it because you're na?ve if you don't see the national full-court press picking away right now: A good point guard drives through a full court press, protecting the ball, keeping her eye on the basket... and she knows exactly when to pass the ball so that the team can WIN. And I'm doing that - keeping our eye on the ball that represents sound priorities - smaller government, energy independence, national security, freedom! And I know when it's time to pass the ball - for victory.

(Well a 'good point guard' may pass the ball but a good point guard doesn't pass the ball and then run out of the gym at half time.)

20) I do not want to disappoint anyone with my decision; all I can ask is that you TRUST me with this decision - but it's no more "politics as usual".

(Just because its not politics as usual doesn't mean that it isn't politics as idiocy. Going to the governors office nude would not be politics as usual but it doesn't mean that it would be an improvement.

Simply doing something differently doesn't mean that it is actually better.)

21) Some Alaskans don't mind wasting public dollars and state time. I do.

(Yes there are millions of Alaskans that cherish wasting public dollars)

22) I cannot stand here as your Governor and allow millions upon millions of our dollars go to waste just so I can hold the title of Governor.

(Well that would only be true if you accept that being Governor is going to entail an endless trail of questionable actions that raise an endless trail of ethical investigations)

23) And my children won't allow it either. ? Some will question the timing. ? Let's just say, this decision has been in the works for awhile...

(Some will question the timing? No everyone questions the timing, the logic and everything about this idiotic statement)

24) In fact, this decision comes after much consideration, and finally polling the most important people in my life - my children (where the count was unanimous... well, in response to asking: "Want me to make a positive difference and fight for ALL our children's future from OUTSIDE the Governor's office?" It was four "yes's" and one "hell yeah!"

(sigh)

25) The "hell yeah" sealed it - and someday I'll talk about the details of that... I think much of it had to do with the kids seeing their baby brother Trig mocked by some pretty mean-spirited adults recently.)

(more sighs)

26) Um, by the way, sure wish folks could ever, ever understand that we ALL could learn so much from someone like Trig - I know he needs me, but I need him even more... what a child can offer to set priorities RIGHT - that time is precious...

(You learned from Trig that your time is so precious on earth that you don't have enough time to fulfill the oath of office that you took?)

27) the world needs more "Trigs", not fewer.

(Yes well that addresses the huge debate that the nation was having whether or not we should have more 'Trigs' or fewer)

28) My decision was also fortified during this most recent trip to Kosovo and Landstuhl, to visit our wounded soldiers overseas, those who sacrifice themselves in war for OUR freedom and security... we can ALL learn from our selfless Troops... they're bold, they don't give up

(These is perhaps the most aggrevating statement of the press conference: first it uses wounded soldiers for partisan purposes and secondly you are using wounded soldiers who refuse to quit to justify quitting)

29) *((Gotta put First Things First))*

(As opposed to the frequently advocated position of putting First Things Seventh)

30) First things first: as Governor, I love my job and I love Alaska. It hurts to make this choice but I am doing what's best for Alaska. I've explained why... though I think of the saying on my parents' refrigerator that says "Don't explain: your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe you anyway."

(Again this is a multiple offender. First you have said many things but explained nothing, and even though you didn't give any logical explanation you purport to do so and then offer advice that you shouldn't do what you claimed to have done and in fact did not do - time for some Aspirin)

31) But I have given my reasons... no more "politics as usual" and I am taking my fight for what's right - for Alaska - in a new direction.

(Again not explained and simply not being "usual" doesn't mean that it is worthwhile or intelligent or in Alaska's interest.)

32) Now, despite this, I don't want any Alaskan dissuaded from entering politics after seeing this REAL "climate change" that began in August... no, we NEED hardworking, average Americans fighting for what's right! And I will support you because we need YOU and YOU can effect change, and I can too on the outside.

(Your entire rant is a statement on how counter productive it is to enter public office. You end the sub rant by saying that you can do it more effective outside of government - obviously dissuading any knucklehead who is listening to you to run for office.)

33) . . who also have enough common sense to acknowledge when conditions have drastically changed and are willing to call an audible and pass the ball when it's time so the team can win! And that is what I'm doing!

(You are calling an audible? Does that mean that you didn't have a play in mind when you started the press conference? Again the analogy makes you wonder how many quarterbacks call an audible and then quit the game in the third quarter)

34) In the words of General MacArthur said, "We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction."

(And of course everyone knows that MacArthur was in fact retreating but trying to put a brave face on it. So are you saying that everything that you have said is completely the opposite of the facts and that you are trying to put a brave face on it?)

GDP, July 4, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by DainBramaged: So they had a tea party in my neck of the woods yesterday

      rurallib: If these people had been alive in 1776

we'd be speaking British!

GD, July 5, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by KansasVoter: Also, you have been warned, do not insult or defame or libel Palin here or you might be sued!

Consider this your official notice!

Carry on!

      Flash Bazbo: I believe she is a Mooselim. Is that actionable in court?

GDP, July 5, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Franzia: Chinese airline may offer cheaper fares to passengers who stand

"The proposal would allow the airline to cram 40% more travelers into its planes while cutting operating costs 20%. Passengers would be strapped to a bar-stool-like stand during takeoff and landing."

      Better Believe It: They will have a strap that you can grab ahold of like subway trains!

That's the ticket!

I wonder if they will make an even cheaper ticket available .... one where they just strap you onto a wing?

      qazplm: oxygen and parka

extra of course.

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

GD, July 5, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Captain Lance Bass: " In Honor Of Al Franken's Stealing A Senate Seat, Today I Fired 2 Dems

...who were my suppliers, I am switching to others, I don't need them.

If cap & trade goes through, I will lay off 10 dem employees & hire others in their place who aren't part of the useful idiots... I have 20, most of the dem UI's aren't that great anyhow...


I hope every con who can will do the same...


Put them out of a job in a market that's near impossible to find one! It will possibly make them grow... "

Full thread and Hannity Insanity Land

http://forums.hannity.com/showthread.php?t...

      City of Mills: I fired 32 Republicans from my multimillion dollar shipping company

Right after Palin resigned - they were the laziest workers on the dock anyway.

      NoPasaran: That's nothing

I had my republican CFO thrown into a volcano just for sneezing!

      Dr Fate: I didn't know that so many powerful conservative businessmen worked from their parent's basement.

GDP, July 5, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by derby378: GOP physicists discover new element

Physicists at the Lawrence Livermore Laboratories, operating on a grant from the Republican National Committee, have discovered the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element, dubbed sarahpalinium (Sp), exhibits a nucleus with properties that have yet to be discovered in any other atomic nucleus, including the presence of two new hadrons: youbetchatrons, which are made up primarily of charm quarks; and nordstrons, which appear to be made up of strange quarks which constantly interact with campaign funds. These hadrons, which have not yet been counted, are buffered in the nucleus by one neutron, one lieutenant neutron, 20 deputy lieutenant neutrons, 40 assistant deputy lieutenant neutrons, and 15,000 employee neutrons, giving sarahpalinium an atomic mass of no less than 15,062. These hadrons are held together by elementary forces called morons which occasionally emit radiation in the form of alpha, beta, and inwhatrespectcharlie particles.

Sarahpalinium is orbited by an indeterminate number of lepton-like particles called peons, with only one peon occupying the innermost shell (the "Todd shell") and exercising an unusual influence over the sarahpalinuium nucleus. Beyond the Todd shell is a shell with five peons (the "Track/Bristol/Willow/Piper/Trig shell"), and a third shell with 9,780 peons (the "Wasilla shell").

Sarahpalinium impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of sarahpalinium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take as long as four years to complete.

Sarahpalinium is inherently unstable, possessing a half-life that will expire on July 26, 2009. At this point, sarahpalinium will either wink out of existence or develop a controversial fourth peon shell that some physicists claim may contain all remaining matter in four-dimensional spacetime, which means that the very universe may indeed revolve around sarahpalinium.

Link to follow...

      zbdent: I thought it was palindumassium ...

where the element is so dense it causes brain damage to anyone near it ... resulting freepertoidisis ...

      derby378: Well, sarahpalinium IS rather dense...

Just take a look at that bizarre nucleus.

      zbdent: and that nucleus attracts pressitrons and newsitrons ...

it's a strange molecule ... it tries to both attract AND repel pressitrons and newsitrons ...

edited to add:

and it emits Foxtons ... pronounced "Fauxtons" ...

GD, July 5, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by sabra: Sarah Palin Called GOP Leaders Before Quitting (Cheney, Giuliani, Crist)

      RUMMYisFROSTED: Cheney?



      RUMMYisFROSTED: Giuliani?



      RUMMYisFROSTED: Crist?



      Mabus: Oh my!



      flamingyouth: I first read it as "Christ"

Imagine my surprise.

      nolabear: Well, Jesus is her boyfriend

But the kid is not his son.

LBN, July 6, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Blackhatjack: According to Palin: "Department Of Law" Protects The President ... LINK

"Naturally, skeptical observers have wondered how Palin would handle being president if some ethics complaints are enough to make her unable to run a state. Palin's answer: if she was president, the Department of Law would protect her.

Palin said there is a difference between the White House and what she has experienced in Alaska. If she were in the White House the 'department of law' would protect her from baseless ethical allegations.

'I think on a national level your department of law there in the White House would look at some of the things that we've been charged with and automatically throw them out,' she said..."

      Javaman: I think she needs to consult the dept of facts. nt

GD, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by kpete: Palin: If I Were In The WH, "The Department Of Law" Would Protect Me

      tj2001: The Department of Law is next to the Department of Fishing Licenses on the 1st floor

it's to your right as you walk in

      Ikonoklast: If you see the Department of Army Guys, you went too far.

Go back three doors, and ask for Joe the Lawyer.

      tekisui: Who is our current Secretary of Law?

      Kalyke: Why don't you know? Judge Dredd, of course!

      Contrary1: I dunno about all that...

but can someone direct me to the Department of Toilets? Quickly, please.

      ThoughtCriminal: The Department of Nice

would also offset all those awful things people keep saying.

      charlie: Not in office yet and she's already increased the size of gov't n/t

GD, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by Tommy_Carcetti: Details emerge on Sarah Palin's autobiography

The book will be published by Harper Collins, and the hardback is expected to hit bookshelves in Spring 2010. The book will be feature approximately 300 pages, 20 chapters, and 5 sentences worth of material.

An advance excerpt of the book was released today:

"And so you know I was in the PTA and also a hockey mom and I felt like any old Joe Sixpack but not like any of those fancy pants community organizers because you know they don't care about America and they just want to see your taxes go up and also they are friends with terrorists who want to bomb the White House and you know that wouldn't be good when Vladimir Putin rears his ugly head over Alaska and also other places and anywhere you can see Russia from your house because you know he'll enter your airspace and also that would make the news and you know I read all of the newspapers like when I read about the Supreme Court decision and there are a few Supreme Court decisions I don't agree with but I am not going to say which ones and also I love America and everything about America you know...."

      democrat_patriot: Riveting.

Can I pre-order?

      Tempest: Make sure to include the barf bags in your order

The heavy duty ones lined with plastic.

The regular paper ones won't cut it.

      SCantiGOP: It sounds like

Mark Sanford edited it for her.

      woo me with science: This is obviously a fake.

No random capitalizations or exclamation points.

      malaise: But what about

The Department of Law?

      smirkymonkey: Who's doing the illustrations?

And will it eventually be translated into English?

      Uben: The truth is......

......she actually quit after the second sentence and never finished the autobiography because, you know, she had to go on to a higher calling, and she didn't want to waste people's money and other things.

GD, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by andyrowe: Why Did Palin Cross The Road?

She didn't. She walked 3/4ths of the way and quit!



      steelyboo: She Didn't

However, she did she a Russian chicken on the other side.

      Mabus: Because she saw a microphone.



GDP, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by TheCoxwain: What did Obama say after going to Russia?

"Hey ... I can see Alaska from here" ....

GDP, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by Bicoastal: I'm going to ignore something by calling attention to it!

This is the best idea ever!

A DUzy for every response.

GD, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by CitizenPatriot: Next Stop on Palin's Crazy Talk Express

Seriously, Republicans...Really?

The Republicans are trying to sell us on their Secessionist Sweetheart, Sarah Palin, as Presidential material in 2012. They're working every media outlet they can, utilizing their "co-opt the language" method of re-branding a bad thing into a good thing.

We're being told that it's not quitting when Sarah quits! It's brave and courageous and brilliant! They tell us it doesn't matter that she quit, or in Republicanese, "She had a higher calling"...

      elehhhhna: She's a Quitbull!

Editorials & Other Articles, July 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Blue_Tires: Oscar Mayer dies at 95

"Oscar G. Mayer, retired chairman of the Wisconsin-based meat processing company that bears his name, has died at the age of 95.

Mayer's wife, Geraldine, said he died of old age Monday age at Hospice Care in Fitchburg.

He was the third Oscar Mayer in the family that founded Oscar Mayer Foods, which was once the largest private employer in Madison. His grandfather, Oscar F. Mayer, died in 1955 and his father, Oscar G. Mayer Sr., died in 1965..."

      LiberalEsto: Will his coffin be shaped like a bun? nt

      woodsprite: I won't even make a crack about what 'preservatives' they'll use.... n/t

      guitar man: see, told you so

All the fat, cholesterol, salt and preservatives in those things will kill ya. Imagine how long he would have lived if he hadn't eaten all that stuff.

      Curtland1015: I hear his funeral will be attended by fat kids, skinny kids, kids who climb on rocks...

...tough kids, sissy kids, EVEN kids with chicken pox.

      Buzz Clik: The Armour company will feel betrayed.

      Curtland1015: That's what they get for making fun of the fat sissies that eat their hot dogs.

      Buzz Clik: Interesting point -- Armour's campaign was designed to reach out to a diverse clientele. Instead,...

... they offended the sick, the overweight, small, large, and anyone who felt alienated. These people became Oscar Mayer customers with deep brand loyalty.



      YDogg: baloney

      Auggie: Tonight I'll mourn his passing with a cocktail

wiener or two.

      YOY: You know, I allways thought the first name in Bologna was "Velzna".

Oooh...an intellectual joke...I must be moving past my "dick and fart" joke standard.

      meegbear: I wonder if his wish comes true?



      Algorem: I think it would sulfites to say that his death leaves a chunk of gristle in America's heart

that won't be easily flossed away.

      htuttle: The weiners are at half-mast today at Oscar Mayer Headquarters

I drive past the place on my way home from work, and today it looked positively flaccid...

And see below for the inevitable Special Visual Achievement awards from this thread.

LBN, July 8, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by raccoon: Du'ers who know Latin, please help. What's this mean?

"Conservito delenda est pro is deleo orbis terrarum!"

      HopeHoops: "The hermit crab broke out of the terrarium"

Or it might mean "I have terrible stinky gas" - I forget.

      MineralMan: Expired Jam is for use only in round terrariums.

I'm pretty sure that's correct.

      SoxFan: "Call the Triumverate right fucking now!"

      gmoney: "People called Romans they go the house"

      Inchworm: Conservatives have good land in their eyes

?



      rug: Conservatives must be placed in a terrarium.

      Strong Atheist: Latin's a dead language, as dead as dead can be; first it killed the Romans, and now it's killing

me...

The Lounge, July 8, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by arcadian: Present commentary about yourself from the perspective of an inanimate object you see daily.

Mailbox:

"No, you fucking loser, that crap you ordered on eBay isn't here today either. You come out here with the anxious look on your face and leave disappointed. Why do you buy that shit? It's just more worthless crap that's going to clutter your house up even more. God you are a pathetic loser. I laugh when you expect something in the mail and you don't get it when you think it will be here. You need to learn patience. Oh wait, I get it, it's all about the anticipation of receiving something not the actual something itself. My estimation of you has dropped even further, if that's possible. Get a life, fuckface."

      Tuesday Afternoon: mirror

make up is Not going to help.............

      CaliforniaPeggy: My computer chair:

My god, here she comes again! Don't you have anything better to do than just sit, sit, sit? All that typing! And when you snack, oh boy. Crumbs and crap everywhere. I haven't been cleaned, in well, FOREVER.

Jeez. And when you want to pull up to that damned keyboard, you cram my arms under the table. OW! Haven't you noticed the scrapes YET?

Good god, woman. Get a life, willya?



      The Velveteen Ocelot: Vacuum cleaner.

So here I sit, never doing a damn thing, even though your house looks like a cat farm blew up, what with all that damn fur everywhere -- which I could take care of in just a few minutes, suck it right up, if you'd get off your fat, dead ass, plug me in and switch me on and let me do my fucking job. Or if you don't want to actually clean, you lazy slob, at least power me up and let me watch those dumb furbag cats

of yours freak out... C'mon; I suck!

      suninvited: My purse

"you really think THAT is gonna fit in here with all this other crazy junk you have stuffed in me? Have you ever thought about how I am already stressed at the seams as it is? What about cleaning me out once in a while? You have chapstick in here that you havent touched in two years, not that you could even find it if your lips were peeling off your freaking face. Have you ever thought about giving me a rest and just getting yourself a SUITCASE to carry around?"

      KamaAina: The office computer:

Oh, here he comes, logging in again. I haven't the heart to tell him that all he has in his inbox are four inane Facebook messages, a pitch from Howard Dean, and some spam. Oh, and two of his impossible crushes posted yet more lovey-dovey messages to their respective FB pages. Say, come to think of it, this could be fun!

"Windows is starting up..."

The Lounge, July 8, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Skinner: We are introducing a new DU feature that people have been requesting for a long time. (EDITED)

We have finally upgraded the DU Recommend function to allow people to "Unrecommend" as well...

      MindMatter: And what if everybody unrecommends THIS thread?

      gkhouston: DU won't be crowded tomorrow? n/t

      jgraz: This may end up in the "be careful what you wish for" bin

Where the GP is filled with posts like "Puppies R Cute" and "I like pie" and anything interesting or contentious hovers around a net rec count of zero.

I'm curious to see how this turns out. No matter what, it's gonna be fun.

      Skinner: I'll eat my hat if "Puppies Are Cute" or "I like pie" end up at the top of the Greatest Page. (nt)

      jgraz: I'd post one, but I know you'll just lock it and declare victory



      katsy: K &

U

      Norrin Radd: How about a "Neutral" button. Then we can have a "Whatever" page.

Kidding.

GD, July 9, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by sendero: My Recommended has no meaning..

... if unrecommended is going to be legalized! It just makes a sham of the whole institution!

I'm writing my congressperson to request legislation. The Defense Of Recommended Act will prevent the scourge of Unrecommended from debasing my precious Recommended. I hope you will join me!

      BlooInBloo: I wish I could change my screen name to "Unrecommend" - then everyone would vote for MEEEE!!!!



      armyowalgreens: That's right...I unrec'ed this shit.

What now bitches?

      LynneSin: Should I contact the Department of Laws?



GD, July 9, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by LoZoccolo: With unreccomend, I can build my own anti-Nader army. (Now I like it.)

I was dissing it before, but now I can like it. We can keep the front page clean.

      NYC_SKP: Unrecommend got me out of debt AND it whitened my teeth!



      BlooInBloo: Unrec saved me a bundle on my car insurance.

      Arkana: Whoever thought that a single Unrecommend could make a man larger?

      zeemike: I bet there is an anti Chavez army forming as we speak.

Can't let the commies dictators get any attention now can we.

      moggie: Unrecommend: apply directly to forehead

GDP, July 9, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by FLAprogressive: RIP: Critical Thought on DU

Any post that does not 'toe the line' so to speak will be immediately "unrecommended" by the operatives.....now the greatest page will be filled with cheerleader threads, just how the All Star Cheerleaders want it....

      hfojvt: I am thinking critical thoughts right now

about this OP.

Somebody alert the mods, quick!

      bridgit: In case of emergency break glass and supplant "opinion" with 'mindset', I've found that helpful



      SpartanDem: Operatives? You think people are sitting in smokey rooms conspiring to unrec threads?

      anigbrowl: That's what happens after you get to 1000 posts.

      BurtWorm: I should have disclosed long ago that I'm on the payroll of Big Unrecommend.

      SpartanDem: Are you guys hiring?

      BurtWorm: I don't recommend applying.

I couldn't give you a letter of recommendation, anyway.

      bridgit: So you.........*un*recommend applying?



GD, July 9, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by earth mom: The Unrecommend Feature SILENCES Free Speech and Dissent.

Anyone who does not like what you have to say can come along and silence you with a single click.

The unrecommend click has the very last word.

It silences and oppresses opposing views and it is wrong.

This is NOT what this country was founded upon and the founding fathers are no doubt they are rolling in their graves at what is happening in this country.

This is something out of one of Orwell's books.

But I'm sure the DLC loves it.

      WeDidIt: Kicked and Unrecommended. n/t

      Ikonoklast: Get enough 'unrec' votes and Skinner comes to your house

and lights a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep, then runs away.

      SemiCharmedQuark: I heard he smashes your computer up with his big Fascist hands.

      Ikonoklast: While wearing a Brown Shirt and singing the "Horst Wessel" song.

We've all been played for suckers.



      krispos42: And then he reads from "The Poison Mushroom"...

...while EarlG and Elad give a dramatic interpretive puppet show.



I get to run the green spotlight. I'm awesome.


Okay, it's actually a Mag-Lite with the lens covered with green tape. I'm still awesome.

      LiberalFighter: Wouldn't it be better to have a Republican in the bag to light up?

Would be just as messy.

      Ikonoklast: Do you want a conflagration?

Can you imagine the size of the fire if you had, say, the amount of fat and grease from Rushbo in a bag?

That's not a prank, that's a war crime.

It would make fire-bombing of Dresden look like a backyard picnic.

      Carl Skan: So you want to...

...silence the ability of people to express their dissent to a thread in order to make sure they don't silence dissent?

Am I right or should I ride that infinite do loop a little longer?

      SemiCharmedQuark: "This is something out of Orwell's books"?!?!?! Are you serious??

If the worst thing in Orwell's books was that something didn't make it to the GREATEST PAGE, then he's highly overrated. I could understand if a post would be deleted should it have a certain number of unrecs but that is simply not the case.

      scheming daemons: Shit... if all it takes was a single unrec click to shut some people up... this place will be quiet

in a hurry.

      uppityperson: indeed. oh crap, I'm still not silenced.

      Tommy_Carcetti: You know, the Nazis had unrecommend buttons they made the Jews click.

      Javaman: first they took away my unrecommend buttons...nt

      Common Sense Party: The founding fathers don't give a shit what is recommended on DU.

If they're rolling in their graves about anything, it's probably about how many times people today allege that the founding fathers are rolling in their graves about something specious or silly.

      Carl Skan: The only thing the founding fathers would hate about the UR feature

is the fact that blacks and women are able to use it.

      LanternWaste: self-delete

edit: self-delete... or self-censorship... or self-silencing, or whatever Orwell would call it...

      Canuckistanian: The Unrecommend feature kicked my puppy

Bastid.

      onenote: I want to unrecommend the OP and recommend the responses

Can we change the system again?

      Arugula Latte: Unrecommend this thread and tell 10 of your friends to unrecommend it.

If you don't do it, you will DIE within seven days. A girl failed to unrecommend this thread and the next day she choked on a calzone and DIED.

SERIES!!!1!1!

      rug: This thread makes no sense. I have everyone but one here on ignore.

      myrna minx: Is this a meta thread?

I can't tell anymore.

      Matariki: "This is something out of one of Orwell's books"

Because new web features always make me think of rats gnawing at my face

      Laelth: 554 responses, and this thread is not on the Greatest Page.

That's pathetic.



GD, July 9, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP title by panader0: Ensign busted to semen first class

After the revelation of his parents paying off the woman and her husband, I can see nothing political in his future. Step down asshole.

GD, July 10, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Freddie Stubbs: Obama Tells Pope He Wants Fewer Abortions

      Bluenorthwest: Gosh. How many has he been having?

GDP, July 10, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Renew Deal: Man jailed for sex act with sister in park

"A man drunk on mouthwash who performed oral sex on his unconscious sister in Rainbow Park was sentenced to jail-time served and three years probation Tuesday in Sarnia court. The 38-year-old pleaded guilty to committing an indecent act May 4 in the south Christina Street park.

A publication ban was imposed to protect the sister’s identity.

The man doesn’t recall the incident but didn’t dispute it occurred, based on a witness’s statement.

A family visiting the park about 6:30 p.m. came upon the couple on a park bench, police had reported earlier.

Defence lawyer Robert McFadden noted his client was incomprehensible when arrested because he and his sister had been drinking alcohol-laced mouthwash..."

      Forkboy: On the plus side, his breath was minty fresh for the arraignment.

      redqueen: 6:30 p.m. Right out in front of God and everybody.

Remind me again why weed's not legal?

      Renew Deal: You're right. Let's outlaw mouthwash.



      CaliforniaPeggy: I hope they didn't drink all of it...

When she wakes up, she'll need some more...

      MilesColtrane: His defense at the trial was that he was just scoping her out.

      redqueen: You are so, so very not right.

Yes, I did a lol.

      MilesColtrane: When life hands me drunken-mouthwash-incest lemons,...

...I try to make drunken-mouthwash-incest lemonade.



      old mark: Fucking Canadians.....we should have taken them over when we had the chance.

Whenever that was....




      Strong Atheist: 1812. We lost, sorta. nt.

      old mark: Well, maybe next time.......nt

      EndersDame: Notice How This Was Not in The South

      johnnie: Yes

It was his sister, not a mule.

The Lounge, July 10, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a locked thread: I appreciate Constructive Criticism

      pinto: Locking -

"We consider it a personal attack to call a liar a liar, to call a moron a moron, or to call a jerk a jerk."

http://www.democraticunderground.com/forum...

Thanks for your understanding.

GD, July 8, 2009


On a locked poll: President Obama Has Never Been The Victim Of Unfair Criticism Here - Agree/Disagree?

      rasputin1952: Locking...

55 gal drum of gas...check

matches...check


Before this goes into meltdown, I am going to save GD-P the situation of calling out the DU Fire Dept.

GDP, July 9, 2009

This should have appeared last week.

On a thread by sabra: Sanford Compares Plight To King David

"South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford is telling his state agency chiefs that he's sorry for keeping them in the dark when he went to see Argentina to see his mistress.

The Republican on Friday held his typical public meeting with the agency chiefs, but started with apologies and likening his confession and future to the biblical plight of King David..."

      Occulus: I stubbed my toe this morning

Now I know how hobbled gold miners in South Africa feel

      Buzz Clik: In a related story: King David finds similarity between Sanford and Goliath.

Both men clearly had been struck in the head by a projectile that rendered them senseless.

      CreekDog: Wait, did he kill Maria's husband???



      dgibby: And the e-mails came right out of the Song of Solomon, no doubt !

Next thing, he'll be proclaiming he's the 2nd coming of Jesus H. Christ. Of course, his confusion might be understandable after his wife finishes crucifying him.

      Xipe Totec: He's King of the Jews now?

Alert the fundies...

LBN, June 26, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by CoffeeCat: My husband just went for a hike...

Should I be worried?

      Kookaburra: Well, if he's not the repuke governor of some small

southern state, I think you're okay.

      jazzjunkysue: Only if he comes back with a sharp new wardrobe and a couple new dance steps.

Otherwise, you're fine.

      nightrain: what do his aides say about where he is?

      TheCowsCameHome: Was he humming 'Ave Maria' when he left?

      SOS: Only if he comes home on Friday

spouting Bible verses with his underwear on backwards.

GD, June 28, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by yodermon: REPORT: 'INFOMERCIAL KING' BILLY MAYS DIES

      Gidney N Cloyd: Celebrity deaths normally come in threes. BUT IF YOU ACT NOW...

      Dr.Phool: Did anybody hear that Michael Jackson died too?

Total news blackout!

LBN, June 28, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by L0oniX: Billy Mays - RIP

      pipi_k: Well I feel like a real shit

because I would not only mute the sound, I would yell at the TV and tell him to "fuck off", "piss off", "kiss my ass", or "eat shit and die".

I suppose I'll have to do penance and buy some Kaboom toilet cleaner or something...

      Kurovski: we're all very upset about the loss...

but please don't do something rash.

      YOY: Well I have to say this "MY GREATEST CONDOLENCES TO HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!"

"YOU JUST WON'T BELIEVE JUST HOW BAD I FEEL! YOU JUST GOTTA TRY THESE FEELINGS OF SORROW FOR YOURSELF!!!"

GD, June 28, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Liberal_in_LA: Woman accepts chips for sex, she's arrested, Frito Lays employee goes free

"An Oklahoma City woman pleaded no contest to prostitution charges after she accepted a box of Frito-Lay chips for oral sex.

Lahoma Sue Smith told police who found her in her car with a man looking for a prostitute that the man didn’t have any money, so she agreed to accept a $30 case of chips as payment, the Oklahoman reported.

The man worked for Frito-Lay. He was not arrested based on officer discretion..."

      Blue-Jay: All that AND a bag of chips?

What a deal!

      Skittles: he should have been arrested for being a cheap bastard

      MajorChode: Hey, those were Frito-Lays

It's not like they were a case of pork rinds.

      CoffeeCat: Ya got yer...

...great lay, you got yer bad lay...and you got yer Frito-Lay.

      proteus_lives: I guess it's true.

You can't eat just one.

      hootinholler: Damn, what would she do for a Klondike Bar?



GD, June 29, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by LLStarks: Can somebody explain the conservative fixation of ACORN to me?

      The Straight Story: Nuts attract nuts



GD, June 29, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by LynneSin: Men: How do you feel when women check out your 'package'?

      Bucky: Never happens, although they occasionally ask me to put it back in and zip up.

And I'm like, hey, why you lookin'? And they're all "ew, some of us are tryin' to teach here, pervo" and it just never turns out right

The Lounge, June 29, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

Poll question by LoZoccolo: Would you vote for Barack Hussein Obama or Lee L. Mercer Jr. in the 2012 primary?

I am happy with Barack Hussein Obama and would vote for him in the 2012 primary.

I am not happy with Barack Hussein Obama but would vote for him in the 2012 primary.

I am not happy with Barack Hussein Obama and would vote for Lee L. Mercer Jr. in the 2012 primary.

      Bluenorthwest: Lee Mercer Jr ?

My answer has to be 'all three'.

At press time, "I am happy with Barack Hussein Obama and would vote for him in the 2012 primary." was winning with 80% of the votes.

GDP, June 29, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

Poll question by zulchzulu: What has Senator Franken not done that he said he would so far?

Al hasn't ended global warming, damnit!

Al hasn't ended war, damnit!

Al hasn't ended obesity, damnit!

Al hasn't made Minnesota have better weather, damnit!

Al hasn't punched Lindsey Graham in the face yet, damnit!

Al hasn't let Max Cleland roll over Sen. Saxby Chambliss while laughing, damnit!

Al hasn't done a Stuart Smalley tribute on C-SPAN yet, damnit!

Al hasn't sponsored the Rush Limbaugh Drug Abuse Act yet, damnit!

All the above, damnit!

Other

      karynnj: He didn't take office in January as he said he would in the campaign

      JamesA1102: After 5 hours, he's a total failure!

We need to hold his feet to the fire and not be apologists for this do-nothing Senator!

At press time, "All the above, damnit!" was winning with 68% of the votes.

GDP, June 30, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by MountainLaurel: Paleontologists brought to tears, laughter by Creation Museum

"For a group of paleontologists, a tour of the Creation Museum seemed like a great tongue-in-cheek way to cap off a serious conference.

But while there were a few laughs and some clowning for the camera, most left more offended than amused by the frightening way in which evolution -- and their life's work -- was attacked..."

      sakabatou: The Disneyland of Ignorance.

GD, June 30, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Towlie: Who is the "Get A BRAIN! MORANS" guy? Does anyone know his name?

      Tommy_Carcetti: He's the lead singer of a conservative rock group called the Il Eagles.

Apparently they recently performed in Buffalo, New York:

http://thebuffalobean.com/2009/03/28/buffa...

"First on stage was the rock band, Il Eagles, a Missouri based act who the St. Louis Riverfront Times once described as having a “bluesy-funk sound” and heralded as “possibly being the next Oasis.”

Mustachioed Il Eagles lead singer Tom Moran came fully dressed for the part, sporting an American flag bandana, sunglasses and a tee-shirt of his hometown baseball team, the St. Louis Cardinals.

Moran and his bandmates wasted no time in jumping into their eight minute jam titled, “Radio Lady and the Tamale Children,” which Moran described as being an allegorical tale of a small business forced to shutter its doors after being hit with crippling unemployment compensation taxes. After striking his last chord of the song, Moran directed his anger at the 44th President. “Since when do taxes solve any of our problems, President Obama? Get a brain!” Moran shouted as the audience cheered."

The Lounge, July 1, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by Fuzz: I was looking at my post history and

I think I may be a disruptor. How do I ignore myself?

The Lounge (moved from GD), July 2, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Amerigo Vespucci: 11,000 tickets + downtown L.A. @ 10 AM on a weekday = "Clusterfuck of Biblical Proportions"

"Staples Center will be the site of a public memorial service on Tuesday for Michael Jackson, a publicist for the Jackson family said Thursday, but it is unclear who will pay for the massive law enforcement deployment necessary for the event.

Ken Sunshine, a Jackson family representative, said the service will be held at 10 a.m. Tuesday at the downtown arena, site of the singer's final rehearsal..."

      excess_3: have any other cities/dates been announced? .n/t

GD, July 2, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by RamboLiberal: GOP, White House at Odds on Sotomayor Documents

"White House Counsel Greg Craig told Sen. Jeff Sessions, R-Ala., in a letter that board meeting minutes and other papers detailing the Puerto Rican Legal Defense and Education Fund's activities while Sotomayor was an outside adviser shouldn't impact her nomination because she had no role in writing or approving them. But Sessions, the top Republican on the Senate committee that will consider her nomination, said the papers could shed light on Sotomayor's judicial approach, particularly her view of racial preferences in hiring..."

      WCGreen: We got Six Ty Sen A Tors... We Got Six Ty Sen A Tors....

Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah....

This Sessions is over...

LBN, July 3, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by camera obscura: BREAKING: Palin will not run for re-election and will resign in July

      Canuckistanian: She was a Governor?

I thought she was an internationally renowned woman of mystery.

      No Elephants: In other news, Gov. Sanford's logs indicate seven unexplained trips to Wassila.



      derby378: And so begins Slappy the Dodo Bird's long and winding road to defeat and failure in 2012

Mind if I shed my crocodile tear now, or should I just burst out in a gut laugh?

      darkstar: My sources in Anchorage say that

she's going to be on 30 Rock playing "the creepy, scam artist sister Liz never knew she had."

Much hilarity ensues.

      LiberalEsto: Maybe she's pregnant again

Possible names:

Twig, Swig, Swag, Cog, Bunk, Tweet

      beac: Well, fuck.

I'll never win another DUzy now!

      krkaufman: Will her nickname now change ... ???

... from Saracuda... to Saracoulda?

      NBachers: Next stop: Celebrity Boxing against Lorena Bobbitt

LBN, July 3, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by ColbertWatcher: Now that Palin has aborted her job as Alaska governor ...

... what should she do now?

If you were one of her advisers, what job would you steer her toward?

      Dennis Donovan: Flight attendant - just try not to look "slutty" or you'll hear it from Letterman...



      BlooInBloo: Late term abortion, no less.

GD, July 3, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by JamesA1102: Top 10 reasons Palin is resigning

10. Joining the Alaska National Guard just in case Putin rears his head again.

9. Needs the extra time to buy up and shred every copy of this month’s Vanity Fair.

8. RNC accidently emailed her the speech meant for Mark Sanford.

7. Plotting revenge against Letterman is a full time job.

6. Wanted to knock all the Michael Jackson coverage off of cable news.

5. Premiering this fall: “Regis & Sarah”.

4. Finally decided to study up for the Katie Couric interview

3. Heard Biden had left the country and is hoping to be considered for the VP job again

2. Is moving to Minnesota to head up the recount for Norm Coleman

1. Joining cast of Saturday Night Live as a Tina Fey impersonator.

      Festivito: Taking up Larry Flynt offer for better cheesecake photos.

Alaska runs cold, our governor has just been sold, our governor is a centerfold...

Can you hear the music?

      JamesA1102: #11 Going to star in the remake of 'Dumb & Dumber' with

Michele Bachman.

GDP, July 3, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by Adenoid_Hynkel: I guess being a governor is sort of like being Sarah Palin...

... except that you have actual responsibilities.

GD, July 3, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by brettdale: What is the reason for Palin leaving office?

      kayakjohnny: For the good of Alaskans

and her kids and soldiers who are fighting to move the ball down the court with one eye on bloodsport politics from outside the governor's chair where I'm not wired to operate with not so conventional or comfortable legislative or administrative success at this moment in time, on another scale, politics as usual, even though some question the timing, and kids said hell yes, prayer and consideration and troops, magnet on fridge, affect change, call an audible so team can win, you have my hearts, postive agenda, general mcarthur, retreating, i'm out...

GD, July 3, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a poll by charlie and algernon: what's the scariest thing to happen to YOU while driving?

      Danger Mouse: I hit a fucking bear. Thread over, I win.

Seriously. A fucking bear.

      Rhythm: So you only hit one of the pair?



The Lounge, June 19, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by underpants: McCain: Reagan could time travel

"Last night on Fox News, McCain and Sean Hannity joined in with the right wing’s Reagan-era hysteria, with Hannity arguing that Obama should offer 'some moral support the way that Ronald Reagan offered moral support' to anti-communists. But in this instance, McCain got carried away, crediting Reagan for something that happened well before he became president:

McCAIN: You and I are both students of history and we’ve seen this movie before. When Ronald Reagan stood up for the workers in Gdansk in Poland, when he stood up for the people of Czechoslovakia, in Prague Spring, and America did. And some good Democrats did, too.

Perhaps McCain needs a new history lesson. The Prague Spring was a period of political liberalization in Czechoslovakia when Communist Party leader Alexander Dubcek allowed greater speech and assembly freedoms when he came to power… in January 1968. Ronald Reagan had just completed his first year as California’s governor at that time. Soviet and other Warsaw Pact troops invaded eight months later to end the reform movement..."

      KharmaTrain: When You Revise History Then...

Raygun won the Vietnam War as well as Korea and the Spanish-American War (he told Teddy Roosevelt not to be a wuss and take San Juan Hill)...

Raygun cured cancer, herpes and everything except AIDS (right wingers couldn't accept it any other way)

Raygun told us to land a man on the moon before 1980...and he made sure we did it

Raygun invented the light bulb, the airplane, the radio, the teevee and ingredient 7x in Coke...

Hell...talk to any rushpublican and Raygun did it all...even if he really didn't do it. Reality has never had a chance with the GOOPers.

      omega minimo: Reagan Twittered.

      RandomThoughts: No Ronald Reagan could not time travel.

And if you believe in time travel (I do not) you have to give credibility to my comment that if it was possible he was not doing it. Since I think I got some non-linear time cred.(even though it does not exist)

      Wizard777: I just spoke with H. G. Wells and he agrees with you.

He said Ronnie tried but couldn't crack the code. E=MC2 is just the first part. Not the whole of the code.

      RandomThoughts: How's he doing? n/t

      omega minimo: He's just opened a new H.G.Wells Friday's in Topeka

The curly fries are out of this world!!

      Wizard777: Originally Curly Fries were not to be invented until 2011.

But some things you just have to have RIGHT NOW!

      omega minimo: Due to a planned movie launch

the Moe Strips and Larry Wings will be available soon. (Served with Nyuk Nyuk sauce). Stay tuned.

      Wizard777: Oh a wiseguy huh. Well if your gonna give it all away.

Don't forget about the Shemp boat with cocktail sauce and fries.

      Bucky: Maybe McCain was referring to how the Prague Spring was inspired by "Bedtime for Bonzo"

      lame54: Did he go on to tell how he gave the names of The Mighty Ducks when he was tortured?

GD, June 21, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by WCGreen: Is it me? I mean, I think America's declined started when Donald Trump

came on the scene...

And the wilder his hair got, the worse everything seems to get.

      merh: What do you think will happen now that he is Monday night WWF?



http://www.wwe.com/inside/news/TrumpRaw

      WCGreen: It is the third sign of the Apocalypse.

And it is written that when the hair of Greed meeting ego doth curve toward the beast, the end is nigh...

      merh: Trump and Raw - two words that should never ever be used together

the image is frightening - not enough mind bleach out there.

      CaliforniaPeggy: LOL!

I think it's you...




Or.....is it?





      lunatica: Maybe it was when Ivana divorced him and got even

then he had to pretend to love his mistress who got pregnant and who he married in the grandest of styles only to divorce about a year and a half later when the media wasn't paying attention anymore. He's just an attention addict. He should meet Sarah Palin and let the sparks fly. They could have a really bizarre affair which would drag both families through the gilded mud and totally and finally make the msm go unmistakenly FOXian. We haven't quite hit rock bottom in our decline until the Donald takes us down lower.

      WCGreen: Well we all have him as a harbringer...

      boppers: *hairbringer



      vixengrl: I don't know how it correlates to America's decline--

but I've wanted to get my hands on Trumps hair and just....fix that thing.

I'm thinking a Julius Caesar type cut with some waxy product like American Crew and fun lowlight/highlight effects to just make the most of what he's still got in a way that doesn't involve the small fingers of child laborers weaving night and day, you know?

GDP, June 21, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

Gag reflex advisory...

On a thread by marmar: John Cornyn is a piece of ........

      kenny blankenship: "Cornyn" is the waste product left over when you kick the scheiss out of merde

      marmar: Are you saying that if shit could shit, you'd be left with Cornyn?



      kenny blankenship: Sort of. If shit could shit, and you held it down to give it a pumice and hydrochloric acid enema

the resulting bloody effluent would be "Cornyn."

GD, June 22, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by WilliamPitt: Where in the World is Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC)? He's been missing since Thursday...

      WannaJumpMyScooter: state is better off without him

as well

      Are_grits_groceries: It's the Rapture.

He's the only one worthy.

      graywarrior: He was seen drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's

and his hair was perfect

      Bossy Monkey: Oh, sorry, he's at my house. Even Republican nutjobs dig gluten-free pizza!

Seriously, Atlanta? Maybe he's trying to ride all the coasters at Six Flags before bankruptcy shuts it down. Braves are in Boston, after all.

      billyoc: I'm not saying it involves hookers and meth PER SE...

But they might want to make a few discreet inquiries.

      Duer 157099: Tora Bora?

Seems like a good place to go when you don't want to be found.

      joeybee12: Burning Man!

Where else?

      AnnieBW: He went through a temporal anomaly

and is back in the Jurassic Period with all of the other dinosaurs.

      SoCalDem: Emergency counseling sessions with Jon & Kate? n/t

      salguine: Whatever he's doing, I'm sure it's wholesome and family-oriented.

      scarface2004: he went to vegas...

and woke up with a tooth missing...and no idea what went down last nite!!!

GD, June 22, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by underpants: Sorry I went for a walk in the woods, did I miss anything?

anything important?



      whistler162: But did you take....

the road not taken?

      underpants: I'd rather not comment

wait here and I will send out a spokesperson to not actually comment either

GD, June 23, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by madeline_con: Amazing basketball shot!

      Ghost in the Machine: I hope that whoever shot this amazing basketball is apprehended & prosecuted

.. to the full extent of the law. This was a needless, senseless shooting. Investigators are focusing on a cell of terroristic Tetherballs. Yes those tetherballs, tied to poles by strings, really hate basketballs for their freedoms...

More as this story develops

GD, June 23, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Liberal_in_LA: 'You Light Up My Life' writer and Oscar winner indicted for rape and other charges

"An Oscar-winning songwriter was indicted on charges of sexually assaulting women whom he would fly in to New York under the impression they were auditioning for movie roles, the Manhattan District Attorney's Office said Tuesday.

Songwriter Joe Brooks is best known for writing 'You Light Up My Life' and directing the movie..."

      MrSlayer: He should have been in prison long ago for writing that song.

Maybe even executed.

GD, June 23, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by Cheap_Trick: Note to John McCain

Dear John,
We don't really give a rat's ass what you think we should do about Iran. If America wanted your opinion on foreign policy (or anything else for that matter) we would have elected YOU instead of Obama.

We didn't.

You lost.

Now get your wrinkled, gray, elephant ass into one of your 8 cars, drive back to one of your 13 houses AND SHUT YOUR FUCKING PIE-HOLE.

toodles,
Cheap_Trick

GD, June 23, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by Yavin4: Official List of Other Great Books by Elisabeth Hasselback

"Away with the Strong Breeze"

"To Severely Injure A Hummingbird"

"Roberto and Jennifer"

"The Picasso Code"

      KamaAina: "Police Actions and Relative Calm"



      Auggie: Of Rodents and Male Adults

      konnichi wa: Catcher in the Crabgrass



      KansDem: "Paradise Misplaced"

"Not West of Eden"

"All's Not too Loud on the Western Front"

"Off-White Fang"

"In Cool Blood"

...any more?

      YOY: don't forget "Illegal Deeds and Legal Repercussions"

      Johonny: green cooked chicken embryo and some luncheon meat

      sarge43: The Cranberry Tales

The Adequate Gadflee

Fuckelfairy Lynn

A Tail and Two Titters

A Rough Sketch of a Craftsman as a Pre-Schooler

The Cousins Karmelcrememov

Morbid Dick

      Initech: No Brains, No Problem!

      11 Bravo: The Russian brothers whose name starts with a "K", but I can't pronounce it.

      Guy Whitey Corngood: And from her acclaimed Latin American collection:

"House Of Ghosts"

"Love In the TIme of Infectious Gastroenteritis"

"100 Years Of Loneliness" and

"Like H2O For Cocoa"

      damntexdem: A Solo Flight Above the Abode of the Cucilidae.

Aristocrat of the Musca Domestica.

      Cheap_Trick: The Duty of Intercourse

      madamesilverspurs: The Audacity of Dope

The Tint Lavender

One Tripped Over the Dodo's Nest

A Brother's Band

The Mart of the Squeal

      11 Bravo: The Heart is a Solitary Predator

      11 Bravo: The Joy of ... oh gosh, you know "doing it".

      sarge43: The Strawberries of Annoyance

Badrabbit

The Spandexshort Tales

Tom Trenchingtool

The Pink Note (Passed in Homeroom)

The Liver Is an Isolated Trapper

The Double wide Maine


Finally a real and very funny book by Modine Gunch, Never Heave Your Bosom in a Front-Hook Bra.

      11 Bravo: Ensnare - 23

      foxfeet: "Mine Kramps"

      Canuckistanian: "The Hunter in the Oats"

"Valley of the Barbis"

"The Unattractive American"

"Shout of the Untamed"

"Disobedience on the Bounty"

That's all I got for now. This is fun!

      11 Bravo: God is My ... oh you know, that guy who doesn't actually fly the plane. I forget what they call him.

On edit: I am having WAY too much fun with this thread. Thanks, Yavin4!

      SalmonChantedEvening: A Goof with a View.

To be filmed in Technicallynotminecolor.

      spanone: atlas humped

      joeybee12: The Fart is a Lonely Punter...n/t

      northernlights: A Heartwrenching Work of Staggering Stupidity

House of the Seven Dogshed Dormers

On the Tarmac

      Contrary1: A Wooden Walkway On The Kwai Creek n/t

      ColbertWatcher: Not Picasso Code, Kincade Code: The Code of Light!

A Midsummer Night's Hallucination

      omega minimo: Blonde Like Me

      Bluerthanblue: "Small Females" and its companion story "Small Males" ..

"The Feline in The Cap"
"The Feline in The Cap Returns"

"A Story of Two Municipalities"

"Offense and Chastisement"

"The Gossip-monger Ticker"

"Self-Regard and Partiality"

"Male Offspring and Paramours"

"Carried Away With the Moving Air"

... this is fun...

      Starbucks Anarchist: Fahrenheit 100.

      alfredo: "The Heart is a lonely shopper" "Death in Venice Beach"

GD, June 23, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by devilgrrl: Obama's Smoking Questioned By Reporter, Again

      wryter2000: Be fair

He can't do everything. He has a lot on his plate. I'll take care of the guzzling booze part for him.

No, no...don't thank me. It's the least I can do.

      tanyev: Remember when reporters wouldn't stop asking GWB if his pretzel-choking incident

was caused by a drinking binge? Oh, wait....

GD, June 23, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by jefferson_dem: Obama To Chuck Todd: Take Your 24-Hour News Cycle And Shove It

"At his presser just now, President Obama offered a surprisingly harsh response to MSNBC’s Chuck Todd, who asked Obama repeatedly why it was that he wouldn’t outline 'consequences' for the violence towards Iranian protesters.

Obama said it was too early to see how things were going to 'play out.' After Todd persisted, Obama rejoined, sharply:

'I know everybody here is on a 24 hour news cycle. I’m not...'"

      DrToast: Chuck Todd should have said...

"Have you seen how many prison documentaries we run? We're not on a 24 hours news cycle either!"

GDP, June 23, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by saltpoint: For as long as he could remember, the voices were there.

Always there, present, around him, always within immediate range.

And they whisper with vivid clarity, and he finds he must listen to them. They are intermittent but urgent, they speak only to him, they know what he must do, they are real.

They come unbidden. No precipitant prompts their instruction. And each time, except when his staff hogties him to the SUV luggage rack, he hears, and then he follows.

Into the fogs of near midnight, sometimes all night, frequently over several days' time, following the whispers. Like invisible, fog-shrouded sirens they lure him and he drops whatever it is he is doing to listen, then to follow. He will do their bidding in automatonic obedience.

He has walked out of meetings, he has walked out of PTA conferences, out of Tire Kingdom showrooms. He has left a dinner table of Vienna sausage and tater tots and bublegum ice cream to follow the voices.

Down the streets of Columbia, down entire highways to Charleston and beyond, to Macon, Memphis, and once all the way to Massilon, Ohio. Through rain, snow, ice, hail.

He will return this time, like all the other times, his socks and undies stinking and stuck to his skin, his angular face unshaven, his clothes disheveled, his soul desperate. So far the media don't know, or they know and aren't letting on.

Secure that no one is worried when he ups and wanders off, he stands in the shower to bathe and freshen up, the shower head washing away the dust and confusion of the previous few days.

I will be president, he says to himself. I will be.

- - - -

reposted in honor of that Governor-Gone-Wild, Mark Sanford.

GD, June 23, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by sarah553807: Rep. Neugebauer: ‘I Don’t Know’ If Obama Is A Citizen

"Speaking to the Texas-based Chad Hasty radio show yesterday, Neugebauer explained his support for the 'birther' movement:

Q: So you believe the President is a US citizen?

NEUGEBAUER: You know I don’t know. I’ve never seen him produce documents that would say one way or another..."

      grantcart: I didn't think that slow motion political suicide could be so entertaining

      Kaleko: The part where they erratically cast about red herrings

while still sermonizing like Jesus on the Mount can get fairly long for my tastes. They should cut to the chase and implode a bit faster. Other than that, I enjoy the show.



      Number23: I truly cannot believe that I am the first rec on this hard-hitting, relevant story!

You people have no appreciation for real news.

GDP, June 23, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by raccoon: Anyone know of any books written by children of Nazis, something like

"My Father Was a Nazi"?

      Xipe Totec: Faith of Our Fuhrers? n/t

Books: Non-Fiction, June 24, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by grantcart: Sanford admits 5 month (er 12 month) illicit affair

      Political Tiger: No wonder he rejected the stimulus ...

He's been getting his stimulus in Argentina!

GDP, June 24, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by NNN0LHI: BREAKING: CNN reporting that they have found a Republican who has been faithful to his wife

I wonder who it is?

      MNDemNY: Ronald Reagan, but only since his death.

GD, June 24, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by rvablue: Popcorn-worthy FUN! Let's post our questions for the Guv's presser at 2 p.m.

      Bobbie Jo: What year is it?

Who is the President of the United States?
What is your mother's name?
How many fingers am I holding up?

This guy is batshit.

      lapfog_1: "Could you pee in this cup here... and we'll be needing a blood sample." - n/t

      TheCowsCameHome: Why did you confuse the Argentinian Trail with the Appalachian Trail?

      nomaco-10: Well, they do both start with the letter A. n/t

      TheCowsCameHome: Governor, should we halt production of "Sanford/ Palin" 2012 signs?

      Fly by night: Governor, do you know where you are right now?

      Fuzz: Gov. Sanford, one question, three letters, WTF? and a follow up, Seriously, WTF?

      Froward69: "Whats wrong with simply admitting,

You like to hike naked?"

      bleever: Did you see Waldo?

GD, June 24, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by underpants: ** Gov. Sanford press conference thread **



      Sanity Claws: I'm getting nothing

Did he not show up for the conference?

      SoCalNative: Perhaps the Governor is stuck

on the Appalachian Trail via the beaches of Argentina?

      Beetwasher: Yeah, This Time He's Hiking The Catskills in S. Africa

      FSogol: If you are hiking on the AT and find yourself in Buenos Aires, you've gone too far.




      grantcart: we need a thread for odds

what is the over under on the wife supporting the husband

      WeDidIt: As an Illinoisian, I must say, Thank You South Carolina. n/t

      Arkana: "I'm a believer."

This is preamble to "I fucked a goat."

      Danascot: WTF??? He's filibustering his own confession

      Dappleganger: Even Bill stayed at his DESK.

For chrissakes.

      underpants: Hell, Bill was MULTI-TASKING

Monica
eating pizza
talking on the phone about troop movements

Bush couldn't handle chewing a pretzel

      underpants: **THIS THREAD HAS BECOME COMPLETELY CHILDISH**

please continue

      Beetwasher: "I Can Give You More Detail Than You'd Ever Want"

Oh no you can't! TRY ME!

      Ganja Ninja: Don't cry for me Carolina. n/t

      Beetwasher: Oh My!! What a Beautiful FUCKING TRAIN WRECK!!!!!!!!!



The Republican party is a wonder to behold! Truly magnificent and stunning. It's like a train wreck during an earthquake that's being eaten by a giant shark that's fighting Godzilla on a spaceship travelling through time.

      jakefrep: With apologies to Andrew Lloyd Webber...

Don't cry for me South Carolina
The truth is I really left you
To have some wild days
A "mental health break"

I broke my promise
I went long-distance....

GD, June 24, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by kestrel91316: I haven't been on DU all day. Can somebody give me a nutshell

summary of this Gov. Sanford thing...

      Sabriel: Missing, kissing, pissing n/t

GD, June 24, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Duke Newcombe: Just when I didn't think Ann "Capt. Barbosa" Coulter couldn't surprise me...

"Media personality Ann Coulter appeared on Bill O'Reilly's television program this week to discuss the murder of late-term abortion provider Dr. George Tiller. Never one to shy away from controversy, Coulter offered the following ethical assessment of the crime:

'I don't really like to think of it as a murder. It was terminating Tiller in the 203rd trimester.'

When pressed by O'Reilly on this statement, Coulter replied,

'I am personally opposed to shooting abortionists, but I don't want to impose my moral values on others...'"

      Ian David: I am personally opposed to shooting Ann Coulter. n/t

      FiveGoodMen: That makes one of us.

      Ian David: Well, I won't impose my values on you. n/t

GD, June 24, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by brentspeak: Former Vice President Cheney to publish memoir: report

"Former U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney has signed a publishing deal for about $2 million to write a memoir of his life in politics, The New York Times reported on Tuesday.

The book will be published in the spring of 2011 by Threshold Editions, an imprint of Simon & Schuster, where Mary Matalin, a former close aide to Cheney is editor in chief, the newspaper said. Simon & Schuster is a unit of CBS Corp..."

      Solly Mack: It's always a proud moment when an American war criminal profits from their crimes

I feel all patriotic inside. I'm gonna go wave me a flag.

      LeftishBrit: It will rank with 'Paradise Lost'!

No, not for its literary merit; but because that book also has Satan as a central character.

      tclambert: The typical retired politician might write a tell-all book. Cheney will write a deny-all book.

      Libertas1776: what's the title gonna be?

Mein Kampf 2: Electric Boogaloo. I'm sure it would make a lovely door stopper.

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

LBN, June 24, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by jgraz: Holy crap, I just found out that John Yoo is my neighbor.

It's about a three minute walk from my house to his.

Any suggestions on how I should welcome him to the neighborhood? Please restrict yourself to things that don't cause major organ failure.

      Posteritatis: While we're discussing someone adept at creating loopholes, please define "major" organs (nt)

      FourScore: There goes the neighborhood! n/t

      jgraz: All it takes is one war criminal to fuck up the property values.

      saltpoint: You should go over to his place and redact the address from his mailbox

with a black marker.

      Common Sense Party: Tell him I loved "Hard Boiled" and "The Killer."

I wish he'd go back to his Hong Kong roots.

      omega minimo: Waterboarding BBQ

Be sure to say "Fuck Yoo"

      Kurovski: Better yet...

make a banner. Have a "pinata". And don't go forgetting the evening bonfire complete with Seoul City S'mores. "Oops! Sorry about that hot poker, John!"

Admit it OM, You long to be a party planner.

      Arctic Dave: Burn down his house, key his car, slash his tires, steal his pets.

None of the above will cause organ failure and his pets will probaby thank you.

You didn't say play nice.

      unapatriciated: Unless you're an inmate - I don't want to hear about it

      Duer 157099: Move? n/t

GD, June 24, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Archae: Darwin Award candidate in Romania...

"Police said a Romanian teen died of electrocution while Twittering in her bathtub, after she dropped her laptop in the water.

Found by her parents with her laptop lying next to her, Maria Barbu, 17, of Brasov in central Romania, died in her bathtub at home, the Croatian Times reported.

Police believe she may have tried to plug in the laptop with her wet hands after her battery died during a long Twitter session..."

      CreekDog: her last twitter:

@barbu: hold on i'm plugging my lapt

The Lounge, June 25, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a poll by tekisui: Why Was Sanford 'Crying For Five Days'?

      WCGreen: He ran out of viagra....

      billyoc: He heard the maximum jail term for stealing government funds.

      achtung_circus: Being spanked?? nt

      sufrommich: "Crying " is as good a euphemism as any . nt

      Stevenmarc: He really likes Chimichurri, he was helping Maria chop onions

      xchrom: it was me. he missed me and he was sad i sent him away to argentina.

i have that effect on men.

GD, June 25, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by malaise: Marc Sanford just sent 50 dozen roses

to Michael Jackson with a big Thank You!!

GD, June 25, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by Kurovski: It is Clear That Tan Lines and "Magnificent Parts" are a Dire Threat to the Sanctity of Marriage.

And so it follows that we are required to amend the constitution and enforce a ban on bikinis.

Now and forever.

Not only is the sight of a certain contrasting milky magnificence a threat to the "sanctity" of marriage, but it also degrades its "dignity", as goofy horn-dog hypocrite Gov. Mark Sanford once, twice, or perhaps even a thousand times said of Gay marriage.

Just watch the dignity of Mark's marriage go down the crapper by way of Sanford's poorly-written (even if earnestly horny) emails.

"...I could digress and say that you have the ability to give magnificently gentle kisses, or that I love your tan lines or that I love the curves of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of night’s light."

http://www.thestate.com/sanford/story/8393...

A few of you may recall my own recent defeat at the border of House Minority Leader John Boehner's eerie tan line.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

However, unlike Sanford and his South American squeeze, I can not vouch for the "magnificence" of Mr. Boehner's "two" as he holds them up to the night light, or whatever the hell it was Sanford meant by the statement "..faded glow of night's light."

The point is...you all could have saved both Mark and myself from the sorrowful ignominy created by tan lines, if only you had changed the constitution. No bikinis. No tans. No problems.

So thanks a whole lot for nothing.

When you people realize that the whole of Western Civilization is shakily balanced upon a tube of Bain de Soleil®, then perhaps you will all begin to act accordingly.

Until that day remember the words of Mark Sanford at his public confessional: "The biggest self of self is indeed self."

(Unless of course you're John Holmes, or a humongous horny tan line on Santa Claus' ass.)

GD, June 25, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Orrex: For god's sake! Somebody tell me about Michael Jackson!!

      jgraz: He's hiking the Appalachian Trail

oh wait...

      Mrs. Overall: Fox has a (D) after his name.

GD, June 25, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by ronnykmarshall: La Liza: 'All Hell Will Break Loose' After Jackson's Autopsy

      Bucky: Now I'm worried. Remember all the chaos & bloodshed after Anna Nicole's autopsy?

This is gonna be worse that the Belushi riots. I'm going down into my bunker till the national guard can put the fires out.

GDP, June 26, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a locked thread by the late Party Person: Why I believe Twitter and it's ilk are extremely dangerous

      cbayer: Locking

If anyone needs to reach the OP, they can try Tweeting him.

Cheers,

cbayer
DU Moderator

GD, June 21, 2009

This should have appeared last week.

On a thread by MaineDem: (GHW) Bush parachutes into churchyard

"President George H.W. Bush celebrated his 85th birthday today by parachuting from an altitude of 10,500 feet into the churchyard of St. Ann's Episcopal Chapel in Kennebunkport. He landed at 1:44 p.m. and was greeted by his wife Barbara Bush.

The plane, a C-31 Fokker, had to make several passes before finding an opening in the clouds where Bush could make the jump..."

      Robb: Fokkers are dropping crap in the churchyard. nt

LBN, June 12, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Old Coot: Newborn Baby Boy Abandoned in Bushes in Illinois

"Authorities in Illinois are investigating the abandonment of a newborn baby boy in some bushes next to a garage in Wheaton..."

      Ian David: Oh, good. For a second I thought they'd left him with George and Laura. n/t

Illinois (moved from LBN), June 13, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Poll_Blind: ONION: Underfunded Scientists Force Lipstick-Covered Rat With Cancer To Run Through Maze

      TahitiNut: Oh, no!! Not another Palin thread!! Don't we have enough?



GD, June 13, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by McCamy Taylor: We Are the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

      Birthmark: UPDATE!!

Due to current financial conditions God has had to let Weapons go. God has contracted that job out to Xe. So it is now the "The Three Horsemen of the Apocalypse and a Private Contractor."

Times are tough.

GD, June 13, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by NJmaverick: Are you where you expected to be in life? wanted to be?

      no name no slogan: No. My body count is way off.

Damn those Scientologists.

      rug: I am not yet Aquaman.

      Robeson: I thought I'd be a popular black jazz musician by now...

      NJmaverick: Are you at least working as a musician?

      Robeson: Yes, I'm a musician by hobby....

...but not being black is my first stumbling block.

The Lounge, June 13, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by JimGinPA: Well, Obama Was Wrong

He said the Lakers would win the championship in 6 and it only took them 5.

      NoPasaran: And Game Six was scheduled to be Pony Night!

GDP, June 14, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by REACTIVATED IN CT: Yoo is being sued

      tularetom: I is?

I didn't do nuthin.

GD, June 14, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Bjorn Against: All I had to do was read the title of this book to know it must have been written by a Freeper

BIRTH CONTROL IS SINFUL IN THE CHRISTIAN MARRIAGES and also ROBBING GOD OF PRIESTHOOD CHILDREN!! (Paperback)
by Eliyzabeth Anderson...

http://www.amazon.com/CONTROL-CHRISTIAN-MA...

      Posteritatis: ... LOL, the entire book's in caps! (nt)

      Berry Cool: Someone should tell God

to use his Holy Spirit indoor voice.

      Warpy: "People who bought this also bought"

The guffaws just kept on coming.

      Bjorn Against: It gets better if you scroll to the third page where you will find the inflatable party sheep

      Warren DeMontague: You forgot to put the word "written" in quotes. nt

      merh: yeah, it's obvious she used a Holy Ghost writer.



GD, June 14, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by rug: Shattering The Meat Myth: Humans Are Natural Vegetarians

"There is no more authoritative source on anthropological issues than paleontologist Dr. Richard Leakey, who explains what anyone who has taken an introductory physiology course might have discerned intuitively -- that humans are herbivores. Leakey notes that 'you can't tear flesh by hand, you can't tear hide by hand.... We wouldn't have been able to deal with food source that required those large canines'...

In fact, our hands are perfect for grabbing and picking fruits and vegetables. Similarly, like the intestines of other herbivores, ours are very long (carnivores have short intestines so they can quickly get rid of all that rotting flesh they eat)...'"

      Lerkfish: even if true....so what?

I still savor a good steak.

      rug: How long are your intestines?

      Lerkfish: how big is your ass?



      conscious evolution: Pass the popcorn

shrimp please.

      L0oniX: Why do you hate cannibals?

      Ikonoklast: He doesn't *hate* cannibals.

It's just that he finds them a tad gamey.

      kenny blankenship: Exactly. That's why we have four stomachs.

and that's why first person shooter video games which simulate hunt and kill behavior are such a marginal, tiny sub-category of electronic media culture.

Silly stuff. Our closest genetic and morphological relative is the chimpanzee, which like humans eats both plants and animals.

      rug: Obesity has become a national concern.

      Marr: What is this, Non-Sequitur Theater?

      rug: No, we are discussing prunes.

      Iggo: Damn. If only we hadn't discovered how to make fire.

Damn the luck!

      Canuckistanian: But a drumstick fits neatly into your hand

Therefore that theory is bunk.

      KamaAina: If I have my popcorn without butter, it's vegan, right?



GD, June 14, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by marybourg: "We will response you"

That was the message in the automated e-mail I received from the manufacturer of my tv digital converter box when I e-mailed to tell them that the box, which formerly had to re-scanned every time I turned on the set, now doesn't even bring up its menu...

      Sal Minella: When you are duly responsed as notificated, please to inform us of

resulting clarifying advices. Thanking you for your personally assistants in resolve this matter.

      cloudbase: They're probably busy officing.

Message them again.

      AlCzervik: in Soviet Russia Response will you!

GD, June 14, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP or poll or something by Oeditpus Rex: Poll question: *delete*

Thought I was in the Lounge.



      Patsy Stone: I predict 60 recs for this thread

at least.

      Wilms: You talked me into it.

k&r

      Patsy Stone: That makes 13 of us.

And another 47 to go.

      EFerrari: 46!

      Lochloosa: 47

      NYC Democrat: 48! I win

      BuyingThyme: Correct answer: 71

Did anybody have 71?

      Patsy Stone: Please, hold on to your tickets until we have a winner!

Wow. I love DU.

      nichomachus: This is by far the most cogent defense of the DOMA brief I've seen so far

      many a good man: I DEMAND our votes be counted!

What is this? Teheran? Florida? Ohio???

      pleah: K&R Thanks for the birthday thread! What!?

This isn't my birthday thread? Damn!



      tularetom: One word. Just one word

Plastics

      Debi: Heh heh

dupe?

GD, June 14, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Liberal_in_LA: 'Pregnant' anti -abortion blogger's hoax angers readers - anti abortion readers feel exploited

"Pregnant' blogger's hoax angers readers

Illinois social worker Beccah Beushausen’s blog had a vast, loyal following, largely from fellow antiabortion advocates who offered prayers, gifts and other support.

An Illinois woman's online story about giving birth to a child diagnosed in the womb as terminally ill turns out to be untrue. Many of her antiabortion readers say they feel emotionally exploited...

As more people were drawn to the blog -- which included biblical quotes, antiabortion messages and a soundtrack of inspirational Christian pop songs -- advertisers were queuing up. By the evening of June 7, when the woman blogged that April Rose had survived a home birth only to die hours later, her website had nearly 1 million hits.

There was only one problem with the unfolding tragedy: None of it was true.

The baby in the photos, swaddled in white blankets, was a doll.

'I have that exact doll in my house,' said Elizabeth Russell, a doll maker from Buffalo, N.Y., who had been following the blog. 'As soon as I saw that picture, I knew it was a scam...'"

      grantcart: Ah that would be the rare Munchausen from Beushausen case

GD, June 14, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by jefferson_dem: Administration Plans to Move Top Iran Expert to White House From State Dept.

      Captain Hilts: ...in exchange for a bureaucrat to be named later...nt

GDP, June 15, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

Poll question by struggle4progress: Tips and Guidelines for Losing Political Fights! Absolutely Free! Get Yours Now!

Forget about arguments that convince other people! This is all about what I think!

Spurn multi-issue coalitions working on anything related! My issue is the only one that matters!

If you agree with my goals but have different tactical ideas, just go to hell!

Accuracy is unimportant! If I have to misrepresent a situation to get attention, so be it!

Nothing should happen under the radar screen! I like to paint big targets on my friends!

When I want a politician to work with me, I will loudly and often call that person a liar!

History is irrelevant! I really don't need to know anything about the past!

Forget local politics! I expect all change to start at the very top!

People who have worked for years on progressive issues are sell-outs! I can't learn anything from them!

What an asinine piece of shit post this is! Go fuck yourself!

      Toucano: My God! There's no "All of the Above"?

ROFL!

      struggle4progress: Dunno. "All of the above" might be the sense of the last choice. Then, again, maybe not.

At press time, "What an asinine piece of shit post this is! Go fuck yourself!" was winning with 42% of the votes.

GD, June 15, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Pirate Smile: Prairie dogs immediately escape from $500k escape-proof habitat

"The Maryland Zoo spent $500,000 to make an escape-proof prairie dog habitat, called Prairie Dog Town. The prairie dogs escaped within 10 minutes of being introduced to their new habitat. Zookeepers caught the escaped prairie dogs with nets.

Aircraft wire, poured concrete and slick plastic walls proved no match for the fast-footed rodents, the stars of a new exhibit that opens today..."

      Orrex: Awesome!

They should relocate them to Montana.

      struggle4progress: Why? Hasn't anybody found a way to escape from Montana?

GD, June 15, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

Poll question by Richard Steele: Poll question: POLL: When I say "I'm a toothless hillbilly from Polecat Hollow", as I often do, what do you think?

I really -am-, you know.
"Polecat Hollow" is a real place up in Bedford county, PA.
It runs between "Lemnus Ridge" and "River Mountain", and I am *from* there.

Thought you invented the name "Polecat Hollow" as a joke.

Never thought about it at all.

I like to vote on DU polls

Dude, what's up with your teeth?

I like to vote on DU polls, SPECIAL Struggle4Progress category.

Robb is still a dingbat, even after all this time

Huh?

Other- post comment.

OTHER- post kitty pics.

OTHER- post kitty pics.ALERTING MODS- why is this drunk-assed "Dick Steele" idiot still here?

At press time, "Other- post comment." was winning with 38% of the votes.

The Lounge, June 15, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Contrary1: Ancient mass grave found on Olympics site

"An ancient burial pit containing 45 severed skulls, that could be a mass war grave dating back to Roman times, has been found under a road being built for the 2012 British Olympics.

Archaeologists, who have only just begun excavating the site, say they do not yet know who the bones might belong to..."

      eppur_se_muova: "do not yet know who the bones might belong to"?

Just look for people without heads -- how hard can that be?

GD, June 15, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Perky: He is simply brilliant politically

      Clio the Leo: Glen Beck said that Obama is smarter than Thomas Jefferson...

      NYC_SKP: He was probably thinking of George Jefferson.



GDP, June 15, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by tekisui: Haley Barbour Testing the 2012 Waters in Iowa, NH

      camera obscura: Because an old, fat, white guy with a racist record is just what their party needs

      saltpoint: "And now, here's Buddy Hackett for Slim-Fast."

      hatrack: Haley - for those who just couldn't take the adrenaline rush that is Fred Thompson



      BeyondGeography: Haley Barbour for President...who said the Republican Party wasn't diverse?

GDP, June 15, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Hamlette: I heard Levi wasn't the father which is why he "dumped" Bristol.

      jobycom: I heard there was a different blind poet named Homer who really wrote The Odyssey.

      fishnfla: I had a turkey sandwich for lunch

plain, no mayo or mustard. Pretty good

      Critters2: And I should believe this, why?



      fishnfla: damn

burned by that 2 source rule again! Curses!



      ksoze: Alex Rodriguez maybe? I heard that somewhere.

      jmondine: Wait a minute. If that's true...

... I still don't care!

GDP, June 16, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by undeterred: Where is the outrage for poor Alex Rodriguez?

He's the real butt of Letterman's joke. Will nobody come forward to defend him?



      ColbertWatcher: I refuse to defend slutty baseball players.

He brings this on himself by the way he dresses.

      TheCowsCameHome: Two balls and you're out, Alex.

New rules.

GD, June 16, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by kpete: Obama blocks list of visitors to White House

      Cherchez la Femme: The Audacity of Nope



      katandmoon: He likes DADT so much he's applying it to everything!

LBN, June 16, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by rcrush: Holy Crap! NASA To Blow up the MOON!!!!!

"In an unprecedented scientific endeavor — and what may be one of the coolest space missions ever — NASA is preparing to fly a rocket booster into the moon, triggering a six-mile-high explosion that scientists hope will confirm the presence of water..."

      Codeine: This is gonna fuck up SOOO many periods. nt

      rcrush: Think of the Werewolves!

      Dr. Strange: It's a simple question:

If the moon were made of cheese, would you blow it up to determine if there is water under the surface?

      dorkulon: What kind of cheese?

If it's Velveeta, nuke the fucker. Roquefort? Give me a baguette and step back.

      madeline_con: Lunacy. n/t

      Robb: Thank god, finally

That glowy fucker's been keeping me awake.

      BuyingThyme: The moonbats aren't gonna like this.

      myrna minx: Yay! Free cheese from the sky makes this Wisconsin girl's dream come true. n/t

      Warren DeMontague: We must quickly construct a Space Dworkin to stop this interplanetary phallus problem. nt

      DS1: It was always lookin at us wrong anyway, needs a smack upside the head

      dorkulon: I wish they'd write "CHA" on it in huge letters.

      uppityperson: Probably funded by Big Pharma

      Codeine: Fuckin' Lunesta, I'm willing to bet. nt

      pipi_k: So if they blow up the moon, does that mean

we'll have to give songs a different title?

"Blue chunk of rock in the sky"

"Small round dustball River"

"Fly me to the leftover crater floating in the sky"

"Dark side of the shiny little sandball revolving around the earth every 28 days"

Just think of the trouble it'll be to change the lyrics!



      ChickMagic: Don't forget Blew Moon!



      rateyes: By the light of the silvery dust.

      flvegan: There must be oil under the surface. That's why we usually bomb places.

      jmondine: ... with an Illudium Pew-35 Explosive Space Modulator?

"Oh, that makes me very angry!" (pace, pace, pace)

GD, June 16, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by avaistheone1: The Greedy Old Party unveils their health plan for the country.

      baldguy: "Don't get sick."

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

GDP, June 17, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by LoZoccolo: K&R if you are PRO-OBAMA!

      Aloha Spirit: I'm amateur Obama. Hope to go pro one day

k/r

GDP, June 17, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by arcadian: Have you ever seen this on DU?

Somebody posts a poll and the poll doesn't match up with the comments. Say %95 of the people in the poll respond in the affirmative, but the comments portray a negative POV.

      InternalDialogue: You should have posted this as a poll



The Lounge, June 17, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by Philosoraptor: How would dubya have dealt with the terrorist interview interrupting fly?

I saw the clip of President Obama doing the smack down on the errant insect in his no fly zone, he never missed a beat, so cool under pressure, so quick on the response, it was brilliant.

It got me to wondering how dubya might have handled the bothersome bug. Would he have declared it an enemy combatant? Would he have declared war on ALL flies? Would he have eaten it with a flick of his reptilian tongue?

      Warpy: He'd have stormed off in full pout

and only returned when his underlings assured him the miserable thing had been exterminated, the office thick with bug spray fog.

      sinkingfeeling: First he would have nuked the interview set and then he would have repeatedly dipped the

fly into his beer, pulling it out right before death, and repeating it.

      Philosoraptor: Beer boarding a fly, I wouldn't put it past him

      REACTIVATED IN CT: He would have asked Dick to shoot it n/t

      LostInAnomie: Probably would have choked on it....

... then passed out and hit his head.

      Tierra_y_Libertad: He would have invaded Botswana and told the CIA to prove the connection.

      Stephanie: Bush would have ducked, then accused Democrats of being soft on flies

      EOTE: I think he would have started off by swatting wildly.

Then the swats would get more furious as he stands up and starts chasing it maniacally around the room. Then he'd start screeching like a howler monkey and baring his teeth at it and would eventually resort to flinging his own feces at it. His handlers would have eventually calmed him down with the promise of warm milk and cookies, and he'd fall asleep, perhaps in their arms. He'd wake up fresh the next morning, ready and able to reproduce the previous day's performance, this time in front of some foreign dignitary.

      gratuitous: Mobilize the military

And then, when someone told him the fly was exterminated*, he would have donned his flight suit, strutted around the deck of an aircraft carrier as if he'd done it himself, and basked in the man-love of Chris Matthews and Gordon Liddy.

Oh, and let a few dozen no-bid contracts. Don't forget the contracts.

*In reality, nobody had done anything about the fly.

      11 Bravo: He would have launched an all-out assault on the nearest ladybug.

      Philosoraptor: And send all the terrorist bugs to Gnatmo

      Forkboy: By declaring war on Jeff Goldblum.

      Philosoraptor: The consensus so far is that cheney would've handled the whole thing himself

      REACTIVATED IN CT: Of course - why would this be different from anything else

Shrub did while in the White House?

      Mnemosyne: Swat and Awe. n/t

GD, June 17, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by sabra: Judge: (John) Hinckley Can Drive, Take Long Trips

"A federal judge says John Hinckley, the man who tried to kill President Ronald Reagan, can spend more time away from his psychiatric hospital and apply for a driver's license.

In a ruling issued Tuesday, U.S. District Judge Paul Friedman says Hinckley's health will probably improve with more freedom and that he wouldn't be a danger to himself or others.

The judge ruled that Hinckley can increase the length of his visits to his mother's hometown of Williamsburg, Va., from six nights at a time to nine. He'll also be able to do volunteer work and take driver's education..."

      peekaloo: eventually he'll fulfill his dream of becoming a Taxi Driver.

LBN, June 17, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by sabra: McDonald's Custer toy angers Indian Country

"Custer rides again, although he's atop a plastic motorcycle and in a McDonald's Happy Meal box.

And that doesn't sit well with some in the Native American community.

Lt. Col. George Armstrong Custer was killed in 1876 along the Little Big Horn River by Native Americans he aimed to destroy.

But Hollywood brought him back to life as a character in the Ben Stiller comedy “Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian,” which opened in theaters May 22. McDonald's included characters from the movie as toys in its kid-sized Happy Meals.

The fast food chain's decision to circulate the toy in Indian Country is akin to circulating a Hitler figure in Israel, according to Laurette Pourier, executive director for the Society for the Advancement of Native Interests-Today. 'It's insensitive and disrespectful...'"

There's a pic of the toy in the OP.

      hatrack: I only hope he's wearing an Arrow shirt . . . hard to tell from the image, though . . .



      orestes: Should've made him with a removable scalp

      Deja Q: Coming next month: John Bobbit with detachable, er, head...

      montanto: Plus, McDonald's should have remembered Custer's age inappropriate last words.

"Holy shit! Where'd all them Injuns come from?"

Not to mention the motorcycle he's riding is an Indian.

      Arugula Latte: There are a lot of holes in this story.

Ba-dum-chh

      cpompilo: Sounds like a Custerf**k to me n/t

LBN, June 18, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Born_A_Truman: Hillary Clinton fractures elbow in fall

      ddiver: Thank God she has healthcare.

GD, June 18, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by TPaine7: Princeton woman, 77, escorts armed intruder from home at gunpoint

"A 77-year-old Princeton woman faced down a man armed with a sawed-off shotgun and sent him running after she pointed her own gun at him, according to court documents."

I for one, realize that this story must be fiction:

1) It is impossible to use a gun to successfully defend against an armed assailant--the bad guys always win.
2) A gun in the home is 75,000 times more likely to be used against you than to be used defensively. This woman would have died several thousands of times before this single defensive use, even if she beat the odds considerably.
3) If she had gotten a shot off before the felon killed her, it would have missed him and killed her daughter (or a neighborhood kid, or a puppy or a kitten or a butterfly...).

I can't imagine why news organizations--and even court documents--lie like that.

Guns, June 18, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Mrs. Overall: Olive Garden pulling ads from Letterman over Palin joke (owner donates to Republicans)

"Following a week of back and forth between CBS late night comic David Letterman and Sarah Palin over a crude joke he told about the Alaska Republican governor’s daughter, the Olive Garden restaurant says it is cancelling (sic) all of its scheduled ads on Letterman’s “Late Show” for the rest of the year.

In an email to a Letterman critic obtained by POLITICO, a spokeswoman for the Italian restaurant chain wrote that 'there will be no more Olive Garden ads scheduled for "The Late Show" with David Letterman in this year's broadcast schedule,' citing the talk show host’s 'inappropriate comments...'"

      sniffa: Oh heavens no!

Where will people in NYC now find out where to go for Italian food?

      MineralMan: What happened was

that Jim Robinson threatened not to hold any more post-Freep gatherings at the Fresno Olive Garden. Faced with the loss of so much revenue, what else could they do? I mean... really...

      bullwinkle428: WHAT??!?!? An Olive Garden thread located somewhere other

than the Lounge?

This cannot be!

      AlCzervik: Oh no, now where will i find Tuna Parmigiana Rollatini?

      Arugula Latte: You've inspired me to create some new dishes for Olive Garden to add to their menu:

Of course, no self-respecting Italian person would be caught dead eating them, but they SOUND Italian-ish, and that's good enough.

Tuna Casserolini
Corndogatoni
Fettuccine Velveeta
Tatertotagiano

      AlCzervik: ooohhhhh! Linguine with Spam sauce!

      Arugula Latte: Yes! but maybe it should be called "Linguine a la Spamatini" or something.

GD, June 18, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by sabra: Ensign Helped Mistress's Husband Get Jobs

      Stevenmarc: Well that's certainly nicer than sending him a, I Screwed Your Wife, fruitbasket.

LBN, June 19, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Hoopla Phil: Man brandishes gun at delay in his order at McDonalds.

"A Denver police officer has been suspended after allegedly brandishing his gun at a McDonald's restaurant in Aurora after his order took too long to fill..."

      coyotespaw: Of course, he might have gotten the wrong toy EOM

      MADem: He's lucky Rambo wasn't running the fryolator.

You want fries, I'll give ya fries.....

Guns, June 19, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by unblock: the public option to mail letters cheaply will put fedex and ups out of business!

oh wait, fedex and ups charge many times more that usps and yet they've been profitable for years (present extreme recession excluded).

but that could never possibly apply to the health insurance debate. any public option means the instant death of private enterprise. it's a shame capitalism is so fragile that it can't stand any form of choice.

GD, June 19, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a locked thread: OK...so what does Obama owe YOU an apology for?

      greatauntoftriplets: Locking.

Please leave the political flamefest to GD and GDP. Let's talk about fun stuff in the Lounge like the Olive Garden and breastfeeding.

greatauntoftriplets
DU moderator

The Lounge, June 13, 2009


On a locked thread by the late SamCooke: I'm sorry but illegals don't deserve Health Care.

      rasputin1952: I am going to lock this...

Please forward posts through nuclearhell.com as the member has taken the express to said destination.

GDP, June 15, 2009


On a locked thread by the late the high priestess: It looks like DU may be imploding...

      wakemeupwhenitsover: Locking.

The OP, for the dozenth time, is no longer with us. I wish she'd get a life.

beset,
wakemeupwhenitsover

GD, June 18, 2009

This should have appeared last week:

On a thread by HopeHoops: Tenn. lawmakers approve allowing guns in bars

"Handguns will soon be allowed in bars and restaurants in Tennessee under a new law passed by state legislators who voted to override the governor's veto.

The legislation that takes effect July 14 retains an existing ban on consuming alcohol while carrying a handgun, and restaurant owners can still opt to ban weapons from their establishments..."

      tanyev: Can you nominate an entire state for a Darwin Award?

      angstlessk: okay, okay, okay, okay...let me get this straight...you cannot consume alcohol while carrying..

BUT you can carry a hand gun on your hip or if you have a concealed permit in your belt under your shirt...into a bar, but you cannot drink while in said bar? why the f**k go to the bar? I reckon if you are going to a bar looking for your enemy who is drunk enough to be shot by you..it's okay?

      Old Hob: why does anyone go to a bar really?

To drink overpriced beers and watered down booze? I don't think so.

      HopeHoops: To wait for a priest, a rabbi, and a naked blonde with a poodle under her arm to walk in.

Why else?

Okay, draft beer.

LBN, June 5, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Truthiness Inspector: What would you like for President Obama to say in his D-Day speech?

      TahitiNut: "Let's do it again!!!"



GDP, June 5, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Jackeens: Obama aides engaged in Paris (with pics)

"First lady Michelle Obama's spokeswoman got an urgent call Saturday morning, summoning her to the U.S. Embassy ahead of time. An aide told Katie McCormick Lelyveld that Obama's daughters were ready to leave and she had better hurry. But instead of finding Malia and Sasha waiting for her, she saw her boyfriend and an engagement ring. 'I thought she was going to pass out,' said Tommy Vietor, an assistant White House press secretary who handles State and Defense issues for President Barack Obama. 'I was shaking — he completely surprised me,' McCormick Lelyveld said. 'I couldn't have picked a more perfect way for this to happen...'"

      Rabrrrrrr: Rush Limbaugh: "They better dock her pay for the taxpayer's time she wasted on this stunt."

Coulter follow-up: "Clearly Obama has pulled a Hitlerian move here in forcing these two to marry so as to appear that his administration is not violently anti-traditional marriage."

O'Reilly: "Of course, America-hating liberals prefer to get engaged in cheese-eating surrender-monkey land, and not in the country they so despise"

Nancy Reagan: "Ron, God bless him, would have been right there to congratulate the couple as soon as the question was popped, and would have paid for them to have dinner. Where was Obama? Off on some junket."

Hannity: "So typical of the liberal, anti-Bible mindset - turn our embassies into dens of fornication and lust. In the middle of two wars, on the anniversary of D-Day, and this administration think it's appropriate to waste taxpayer money on phone calls and light bulbs on a morning of frivolity and tomfoolery. Why isn't that man in the army? He's of age. Oh, that's right - he thinks Paris is better than America."

Dobson: "I wonder how many of her babies Hussein Obama is going to make her abort before he lets her keep one. Probably time it just right so the baby is born the day before the 2012 election. I'm sure they're in some secret Muslim bunker right now getting their indoctrination and agenda."

GDP, June 6, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by eridani: DH sez he saw Stephen Jay Gould on one of my homemade tortillas

He was hanging around criticizing my pressing technique, so I offloaded that task onto him. I threw the first one on the heated cast iron pan and flipped it. He sez "Look! Stephen Jay Gould!" Just looked like random brown spots to me. I made an enchilada casserole, and we ate all the evidence. Nothing miraculous has happened since.

Cooking & Baking Group, June 6, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by wndycty: I want right wing heads to explode this morning. PLEASE SPEAK FRENCH PRESIDENT OBAMA!

      Cirque du So-What: I made a conscious effort to pepper my speech with French phrases whenever possible

right after the first volley was fired in the Neocon-Gallic Rhetorical War. I never missed an opportunity to drop le mot juste into conversation or call a particularly nasty neocon a bête noire. Over the internet, I always made sure to write résumé - with both aigu - for an outrageous accent. When I point out their façade of patriotism, the dangling bit of cedilla represents an invitation to bite me.

GDP, June 6, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by HopeOverFear: GOP: President Obama snubbed us

"Republican leaders in the House complained on Friday that President Barack Obama is blowing them off after he seemed to ignore their weeks-old request for a meeting to discuss health care reform.

Last month, Republican leaders in the House asked Obama for a meeting on the issue before Congress embarks on its summer adventure, but in his reply sent on Friday night, Obama makes no mention of their request, according to a copy obtained by POLITICO..."

      lunatica: Their endless whining is getting very, very old

Endless blubbering, wailing, simpering, sniveling, bellyaching, carping, droning on and on, fussing and fuming, griping, grousing, grumbling, howling, kicking, mewling, moaning and groaning, murmuring, puling, repining, sobbing, whimpering and yowling.

I love the Thesaurus!

GDP, June 6, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by Mythsaje: Saying Goodbye

Since the Muddle East has yet again exploded into its own particular version of insanity, it seems all too likely that the time of the Rapture is almost upon us, and all those godly folks will be taking their leave of this mortal coil by being sucked up into heaven to leave us sinners in the foulness of the time of Tribulation.

This being the case, I thought I'd provide a handy guide for the heretics, pagans, and other non-believers to say goodbye to their soon-to-be-departing loved ones.

1. Pack warm clothing. It gets cold up there on the clouds, and your loved ones will need extra sweaters and a good winter coat.

2. Include no worldly entertainment. The rest of their eternal existence will be spent groveling before God, so they will no longer need their favorite novels (probably written by unrepentant sinners who won't be in heaven anyway) or DVDs. And, yes, this does include their extensive porn collections.

3. Include extra underwear. The process of being sucked into heaven will most likely cause some people to release their bladders and/or bowels, and therefore it's a good idea to include as many pairs of underwear as physically possible, considering the room required by winter clothing.

4. Pictures of loved ones. A group photo of all members of the family NOT considered likely candidates for Rapture would be a wonderful going away present.

5. A satellite map of Earth, so when they're looking down upon high, observing the carnage, they are more easily able to locate their loved ones' locale.

6. Sunscreen and sunglasses. Above the clouds there is far less protection from the scorching ultraviolet radiation of the sun, so it behooves those who will be left behind to provide these things for the one to be raptured.

7. Do NOT include MP3 or portable music players. All modern and popular music is OF THE DEVIL and is therefore banned from heaven. The heavenly host will provide all musical accompaniment for the rest of eternity.

8. For the safety of those who will NOT be raptured, it is important to keep all potential Rapturees from operating motor vehicles or heavy equipment of any kind for the rest of their time on Earth. This includes cars, buses, trains, airplanes, ships, and smaller boats, as well as forklifts or earth-moving equipment. Licenses should be revoked and keys confiscated until further notice.

9. Since it may be the case that the Rapturee will be allowed one Holy Smiting per day, a high-powered sniper rifle is an ideal parting gift to be included in the departing person's luggage, particularly if they plan to travel outside the United States--where they themselves cannot purchase such an item--in the brief span of time before the rapture comes.

10. Photo ID will be required in order to ensure that the Holy Host does not accidentally Rapture the wrong people and accidentally infect heaven with their evilness.

GD, June 6, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by malaise: #67 to Tiger

That was something special. Who saw that shot at 18?

      malaise: I'd watch it if I were you

Seriously

      taterguy: You just responded to the OP, which was made by you

Aren't you, you?

GD, June 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

Poll question by graywarrior: Fondest and most creative threats

I'll rip your face off

I'll cut your heart out with a spoon

I'll put a coffee mug through your face

I'll find you when you least expect it and I will bring Batman with me

I'm going to kick you in the crotch so hard you'll be sneezing babies for a week!

Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date

I'll eat your liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti

Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape

Yo, Adrian!

I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog too.

      Ikonoklast: I'll marry your sister and move into your basement.

Usually makes them run away screaming.

      mwooldri: "Do you like hospital food?" used to be a good one...

until I found out my son LIKED hospital food... well when you haven't eaten anything for four days after some surgery involving intestines, heck chicken broth and jello turns out to be the best food in the world!

At press time, "Save your breath...You'll need it to blow up your date" was winning with 29% of the votes.

The Lounge, June 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by jefferson_dem: **HEADS UP**: Secretary Clinton on ABC This Week*** : Obama Has Passed '3 a.m.' Test.

"In her first Sunday show interview since her presidential bid ended a year ago, I asked Clinton if Obama answered the questions she raised in her campaign's '3 a.m.' ad.

'Absolutely,' Clinton told me in an exclusive 'This Week Sunday show interview-- her first as secretary of state..."

      Clio the Leo: If I were her I would have called him at 3am and said....

.... "just checkin'! ha ha!"

GDP, June 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by BlooInBloo: Microsoft CEO Ballmer Threatens To Move Microsoft Out Of The US....

"Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer is threatening to move Microsoft employees offshore if Congress enacts President Obama's plans to curb tax avoidance by US corporations. 'It makes US jobs more expensive,' complained billionaire Ballmer..."

      DemoTex: Ballmer couldn't get MS past the 12 mile offshore limit ..

Without the system crashing.

GD, June 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Clio the Leo: "Newt wonders if he has a message to unify the country."

"Former House Speaker says on CBS' 'Face the Nation' he'd take a lot of factors into consideration when thinking about running for president.

Says he'd be concerned what his family thinks, whether a run would be practical and realistic, and whether he has a message to unify the country..."

      annabanana: He could unify the Country by saying:

"I'm outta here, you've been great, tip the waitress, so long folks"

We would all cheer.

      madeline_con: He can stop wondering. He has nothing of value to say. n/t

      havocmom: He can't keep his stable of wives unified.

And we need to make sure America remembers THAT too.

      rurallib: He can unite the country from Georgia to Mississippi and south.

      Canuckistanian: The same way Hitler "unified" the Sudetenland and Czechoslovakia

You know, the old fashioned way.

      movonne: Which family is he talking about...

GDP, June 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP title by jefferson_dem: ZOMG! Grassley twitter pwnage. Skools Obama! He ain't no nail! I'm series!!11

""Pres Obama you got nerve while u sightseeing in Paris to tell us 'time to deliver' on health care. We still on skedul/even workinWKEND."

"Pres Obama while u sightseeing in Paris u said 'time to delivr on healthcare' When you are a 'hammer' u think evrything is NAIL I'm no NAIL."

      tibbiit: You know

teh twitter is knot a gud look.
gib it up sinater/
tob

      DeepBlueC: working on any ejukashun bills?

      SoxFan: LOL @ NOOB!!1

      vaberella: I don't know what he's talking about. Does that make sense to anyone? n/t

      Drunken Irishman: I think he wants Pres. Obama to nail him.

      camera obscura: I KAN HAZ BUSH TAX CUTS?

NOOOOOO THEY BE TAKEN MY BUSH TAX CUTS

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

GDP, June 7, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Are_grits_groceries: Sotomayor Breaks Her Ankle

"Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor was taken to George Washington University Medical Center in the District this morning for X-rays of her right ankle after stumbling at the La Guardia airport in New York, White House officials said.

The X-ray revealed a small fracture in her ankle. She was released from the hospital after less than two hours and is now using crutches, said Ben LaBolt, an assistant press secretary at the White House..."

      Patsy Stone: She's clearly going for the sympathy vote, here.



A few hours later, there was this: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

GD, June 8, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Lone_Star_Dem: Laura Bush glad Obama picked woman for high court

"Former first lady Laura Bush says she's pleased that President Barack Obama nominated a woman for the Supreme Court.

'I think she sounds like a winner and a good nominee,' Bush said of Sonia Sotomayor, the federal appeals judge Obama picked..."

      Ian David: And then Laura Bush pushed her down the escalataor at the airport. n/t

      Baby Snooks: No, no...

Witnesses reported a white-haired old lady pushed her. Witnesses said the woman looked familiar. They just couldn't place her.

      Guy Whitey Corngood: Did she look like George Washington? nt

      jmowreader: Not George Washington, the Quaker Oats man!

LBN, June 8, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by JamesA1102: Conservatives react to the Sermon on the Mount

Rush Limbaugh: “Who is this Jesus of Nazareth, this Middle Eastern prophet? He goes around doing a bunch of bad parlor tricks like turning water into wine and healing lepers and the all liberals in the drive-by media just start bowing to him. But what they won’t tell is that this man cavorts with prostitutes. One prostitute a Mary Magdalene is always by his side. Another of his followers, Matthew, is a former tax collector. This Jesus has surrounded himself with the scum of our society and now he tries to preach to us a bunch of liberal pabulum like ‘the meek shall inherit the earth’. He is just a left wing con artist pure and simple.”

Dick Cheney: “I think it is clear by his statements like ‘Blessed are the peacemakers’ and that we should ‘turn the other cheek’ to aggressors that following the policies of Jesus of Nazareth would make us less safe.”

Joe Scarborough: “Mika, this man is a disgrace! I know you liberals like to hear this pie in the sky stuff like the ‘meek shall inherit the earth’ but that is ridiculous! It is totally unrealistic and just another example of how you bleeding hearts are totally out of touch with reality!”

Bill O’Reilly: “I think it is clear that Jesus of Nazareth has allowed himself to be influenced and run by forces on the extreme left. His statements today are worst type of left wing propaganda and are totally out of the mainstream of American politics.”

Erin Burnett: “Who are these meek who are supposed to inherit the earth? What about the investor who has risked their capitol, why shouldn’t they inherit the earth? Aren’t I pretty!”

Sean Hannity: “This is a man who in the past has said ‘thou shall not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets’ denigrating religious Americans and ‘If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to cast a stone’ disparaging the Death penalty and ‘it will be hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven’ which advocates socialism. Now he is making statements like ‘Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you’. It is clear that this Jesus is a left wing radical who hates America!”

Ann Coulter: “He’s over 30 years old and never been married and when he says something like ‘the meek shall inherit the earth’ everyone knows who he is talking about. The guy is a faggot.”

Lou Dobbs: “When Jesus says to ‘turn the other cheek’ he is really saying that we should ignore the hordes of illegal aliens who are coming across our borders destroying our country. They are the meek who Jesus wants to inherit America.”

Jim Cramer: “Well Lenin, Stalin and Trotsky must be happy tonight. Jesus of Nazareth has now fully adopted their agenda with statements like ‘You cannot serve both God and Money’. What this man is trying to do is enslave us all to socialism.”

Glenn Beck: “Forgive me for getting emotional but would any of you said on September 12th that we should ‘turn the other cheek’ or love our enemies? No. And it makes me sad to see a man like this destroying America, the America I love so much.”

John Boehner: “After fully reviewing the Sermon submitted today by the honorable Jesus of Nazareth, the entire Republican caucus finds it unacceptable and will vote against it when it comes to the floor.”

GDP, June 8, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by dorkulon: Swedish pirates capture EU seat

"Sweden's Pirate Party has won a seat in the European Parliament.
The group - which campaigned on reformation of copyright and patent law - secured 7.1% of the Swedish vote.
The result puts the Pirate Party in fifth place, behind the Social Democrats, Greens, Liberals and the Moderate Party..."

      Buzz Clik: I thought they were Republicans because of the ARRRRRRR after their names.



LBN, June 8, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by SuperTrouper: Sarah Palin: "Our country is evolving into Socialism"

      rockymountaindem: At least she admits evolution is real

Silver lining people, silver lining.

      11 Bravo: It's Intelligent Design, Sarah.

      leftofthedial: This is one time when I wish she wasn't full of shit.

GDP, June 9, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by jefferson_dem: Jon Voight calls Obama "wildly radical," praises rw haters for helping bring end to "false prophet"

"More from Susan Page, who says Voight gave fiery speech to a rather subdued crowd.

Voight called Obama 'wildly radical' and said his policies were 'disastrous,' Page says. He praised Rush Limbaugh, Gingrich, Sean Hannity, Karl Rove and others for working 'to bring an end to this false prophet...'"

      tularetom: I'm not defending Voight but have you listened to him lately?

That MFer's nuckin futz.

He has more issues than National Geographic.

No wonder the crowd was "rather subdued". Even repubs are smart enough to know when they're in the presence of a loony.

GDP, June 9, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by DemocratSinceBirth: Jon Voight Compared President Obama To Julius Caesar

      imdjh: He's warlike and fucking an Egyptian?

He's Italian? He wears dresses?

      Blue_Tires: i think he meant Obama's got a lotta Gaul



GD, June 9, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Archae: My opinion on DADT...(I got my asbestos suit on)

      noamnety: I think we should keep DADT but modify the policy

Let gays and lesbians serve openly, but apply DADT to bigots. If you are a homophobic ass, you can stay in ONLY if you can keep it hidden from public view. If you reveal that you're a bigot, you get a dishonorable discharge.

GD, June 9, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by OmahaBlueDog: The DVD I'm watching has a preview for "Thomas Kinkade's Christmas Cottage"

..starring Peter O'Toole, no less. I bet that there Picasso feller can't say that any of his paintings were made into a movie.

There was also a preview for "Baitshop" with Billy Ray Cyrus and Bill Engvall.

I'm telling you, I just don't get why these two gems went straight to DVD.

      InternalDialogue: I believe that Kinkade film was pretty well lit.

      OmahaBlueDog: I'm betting everyone in "Baitshop" was lit

      Initech: How can they turn a fucking painting into a movie?

      OmahaBlueDog: They did it with "Girl With a Pearl Earring"

...so I guess that means Kinkade is at least as good as Vermeer, right?

The Lounge, June 9, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Liberal_in_LA: Computers Can Send You to the ER, Study Shows

"How dangerous could that laptop, desktop, or Mac sitting in front of you be?

The first report to count computer-related emergency room injuries shows that each year more and more Americans are tripping over cords, dropping monitors, banging heads and snagging limbs..."

      ezgoingrl: I was going to reply, but

I tripped over the computer cord, pulling the monitor off onto my foot. While I was falling, I pulled the keyboard off onto my head, knocking me unconscious.

      panader0: Cords? What about the viruses??

Not to mention when your computer crashes right in front of you.

      emilyg: I wish I could send my computer to the ER.

      bananas: Skynet begins its attack.

      Wilms: Hopefully, this report will mark the return to lever voting machines and hand counted paper ballots.

So I'm an optimist.

GD, June 10, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by question everything: The "face" of the Republican party: balding white men

"Who speaks for the GOP?

The question flummoxes most Americans, a USA TODAY/Gallup Poll finds, which is among the reasons for the party's sagging state and uncertain direction.

A 52% majority of those surveyed couldn't come up with a name when asked to specify 'the main person' who speaks for Republicans today. Of those who could, the top response was radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh (13%), followed in order by former vice president Dick Cheney, Arizona Sen. John McCain and former House speaker Newt Gingrich. Former president George W. Bush ranked fifth, at 3%.

So the dominant faces of the Republican Party are all men, all white, all conservative and all old enough to join AARP, ranging in age from 58 (Limbaugh) to 72 (McCain)..."

      villager: Hmm... as a balding white guy, should I take umbrage?



      jberryhill: No, you should buy your umbrage and pay for it, like everyone else

Geez... talk about balding white male privilege.

You think you can just take umbrage any time you feel like it, eh Curly?

      villager: Isn't society set up for me to take my umbrage any damn time I feel like it!!?

      jberryhill: Under The Bush Administration, It Seemed That Way

But that was then, this is now. The government isn't doling it out the way they used to.

      villager: I dunno. My balding white banker pals got some pretty good "dole..."

      jberryhill: Yeah, but all you and I got was the umbrage /nt

GDP, June 10, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by jmondine: Hey freerepublic, O'reilly, Beck et al... Bin Laden doesn't "actually kill" anyone either

He simply releases hate-filled diatribes on video and audio inspiring those gullible enough to believe in him to commit atrocious acts of violence.

Sound like anyone you know?

GD, June 10, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by A HERETIC I AM: Perhaps DU should cut the members of Free Republic a bit of a break.

..





..-->












Naah. Sorry.



..BTW, I mean in no way to make light of the tragedy that occurred in DC today. I am sure I am not alone on this board when I say my thoughts are with the families of the victims, including the family of the perpetrator.

GD, June 10, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by CreekDog: Attention! Attention! FR Republic is deleting posts, but NOT to cover up for the Nazi Shooter

It's to make space on their servers for the spell-checker.

GD, June 10, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by BuelahWitch: What is the recipe for Fomenting a Riot in GD?

Is it a Super Secret or open to anyone?
Is there a Riot Fomenting Clique?
Do they all Call Congress Right Fucking Now?
What do they do when not calling Congress?
Inquiring minds want to know...

      Swede: Post something about something,then step back.

It's pretty volatile.

      DarkTirade: Or the alternatives: post something about something and stay there to argue.

Or respond to someone else's post and step back.

Or respond to someone else's post and stay there and argue.

Any of those four options is guaranteed to start a flame war.

      CreekDog: Take a middle-ground, pragmatic position

or a strong one on either side.

The Lounge, June 11, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by jefferson_dem: Von Brunn: "Obama Was Created by Jews"

"'You want my weapons - this is how you'll get them,' wrote von Brunn. 'The Holocaust is a lie. Obama was created by Jews. Obama does what his Jew owners tell him to do. Jews captured America's money. Jews control the mass media...'"

      grantcart: Man those Jews are clever.

      Bolo Boffin: Not very clever

Over 3000 years and they haven't managed to take over the world yet? Maybe it's time to take up acrostics.

      YOY: They know about project "Kosher Frankenbrother."!!!

      NatBurner: a muslin kenyan, apparently not born in hawaii

probably hatched or some shit
from an egg created by jews
then the hatchling sat in the pews
of a crazy baptist preacher
screaming god damn america
for 20 years
yet, he's also managed to find the time to be the antichrist

amazing

jews can do ANYTHING! © bobby jindal

GDP, June 11, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Happyhippychick: Mitt Romney's having an essay contest!

For an entry fee of $50, you can submit a 250 word essay entitled "What does a free and strong America look like to me?"

Nope, not making this shit up. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/11/m...

The "winner" gets to visit with Mittens.

      Chulanowa: Fifty dollars?

For that price the winner should get to kick Mittens in the pouches.

      RoccoR5955: Do I get back my $50 if he comes to visit me? n/t

      C_U_L8R: Maybe a FREE America essay shouldn't cost fifty bucks.

I suggest we start there.

GDP, June 11, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by underpants: Limbaugh claims "exercise freaks ... are the ones putting stress on the health care system"

      Arkana: So we should all be fat greasy fucklords like Limbaugh?

Got it.

GD, June 11, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by marmar: Dear AMA: I Quit!

"Dr. Chris McCoy
Policy Chair for the National Physicians Alliance

Posted: June 11, 2009

Dear AMA: I Quit!


Dear American Medical Association,

I recently had the opportunity to read your response to the Senate Finance Committee proposal for health care reform, and it is clear to me that I cannot remain a member in your organization. Please remove my name from your membership rolls, effective immediately..."

      GreenPartyVoter: You gotta love an outspoken doc named McCoy!

      jgraz: Dammit, Jim. I'm a doctor, not a cash register.



GD, June 11, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by grantcart: ****IRAN POLLS OPEN*** Update thread

      Bicoastal: According to Tomazil al-Brokawaj...

...this year it all comes down to swing provinces.

Hormozgan, Hormozgan, Hormozgan...

      bluestateguy: Whose going to win the working class white vote?

Who will the Hillary voters support? Will they show up at all? Oh, and what about the security Moms?

      Drunken Irishman: Is there going to be an Albradley effect?

      PretzelWarrior: Also, Darius Rather said "the election is hotter than a falafel on a Tehran street in July"

GDP, June 11, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by Bucky: Breaking News: Bucky announces that Bucky has won the Iranian presidential election with 65%

If my opponents win, I'm calling fraud.

      rockymountaindem: Mazel Tov!

      Kerrytravelers: No no no no no ! You didn't. I, Kerrytravelers, won with 75%. I'm the one calling fraud!

      Bucky: That tears it! I'm rioting in the street! (soon as I put my shoes on)

Death to Carter! Death to the Ayatollah! Death to Kerrytravelers!

      panader0: Isn't calling for the death of a moderator

against DU rules? (joke)

      wryter2000: I don't know about Bucky

But, if I were to proclaim myself the winner of an election, I wouldn't pick Iran, lovely though it may be. I'd probably make myself Queen of the Riviera or President of Bermuda.

      Kerrytravelers: Why start small??? How about Queen of the World? I think I'd go for that!



      wryter2000: I don't want to be in charge of the world

Too messed up. I might ruin my nails.

      UrbScotty: And I'm sure Jeb Bucky helped to rig it (nt)

      wryter2000: It's a well-known fact

That Katherine Harris's middle name is Bucky. Katherine Bucky Harris.

And, don't forget the Supremes. Antonin Bucky Scalia, Clarence Bucky Thomas, John Bucky Roberts, Samuel Bucky Alito.

      Captain Hilts: I voted for you several times! nt

      TheCowsCameHome: Congratulations!

Now where's my cushy job in your cabinet?

      Bucky: I'm making you Secretary of Jello and Taking Over Foreign Embassies

Death to the Shah!

      TheCowsCameHome: That's better'n a pony.

Thanks.

      BootinUp: You superceded my announcement that I lost with 64% of the vote. nt

GDP, June 12, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by yoyossarian: Carrie Prejean to be Stripped of Her Breast Implants!

LOS ANGELES - Miss California USA Carrie Prejean, who stirred up trouble for herself when she said gays shouldn't be allowed to marry, received a sobering message from pageant grand poobah Donald Trump on Wednesday: "You're fired. Turn in your boobs and get out!"

Trump and other pageant leaders said Prejean was being "deboobed" not because of the insensitive remarks she'd made, but because she hadn't been holding up her end of the agreement she signed when she entered the pageant.

But on Wednesday, Prejean told Access Hollywood she believed she was deboobed because of her stand on gay marriage.

“It’s just because of my answer, I think,” Prejean said. “None of this would be happening right now if I just said, ‘Yeah, gays should get married.’”

Lewis had complained at a news conference last month that Prejean was skipping Miss California USA events while speaking out against gay marriage at unsanctioned appearances. She has also added additional fuel to the fire with her recent pro-slavery and pro-plague statements.

"I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but I was raised to believe that black people are simply inferior to me in every way, and that sweeping pandemics in third and fourth-world nations are just God's way of culling the weak ones from the herd and tidying up the world from time to time," Ms. Prejean told a crowd of gnashing snake-handling crap farmers and moonshiners in a dusty revivalist tent meeting somewhere in Bugfuck, Nebraska last weekend.

Prejean told Access Hollywood that she's been making appearances as Miss California and doing her part to communicate with the Miss California USA organization; but Trump insists otherwise. "I haven't seen those fun-bags in weeks!"

"We had a deal," Trump continued. "The implants were not a gift; this was a quid pro quo arrangement, tit for tat!

"I've told her again and again: No tats, no tits!"

Prejean disputes this account. “I’ve tried to reach out to them and I’ve done several appearances and I’m gonna be presenting at the Special Olympics this weekend as an honorary mongoloid,” she said. “I mean, I’ve been cooperating with them. I don’t see why this is happening.”

Pageant officials said Prejean would be replaced by the Miss California pageant's first runner-up, Tami Farrell, 24, who was crowned Miss Teen USA in 2003. They had announced last month that Farrell was being named a special ambassador to fill in for Prejean at any events she didn't attend.

"Carrie is a beautiful young woman and I wish her well as she pursues her other interests," Trump said. "I just want my boobs back."

GD, June 12, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Old Coot: Boy Hit by Meteorite

"A 14-year old German boy was hit in the hand by a pea-sized meteorite that scared the bejeezus out of him and left a scar.

'When it hit me it knocked me flying and then was still going fast enough to bury itself into the road,' Gerrit Blank said in a newspaper account. Astronomers have analyzed the object and conclude it was indeed a natural object from space, The Telegraph reports..."

      Wizard777: Too cool! What kind of superhero powers did he get?

      Alcibiades: Now THAT'S a low-probability event

But it's bound to have happened before, and is sure to happen again. Though bears and socialized medicine may be scary, this shows we must be ever-vigilant against the oft-underestimated meteorites.

      Robb: Good parenting, clearly.

...Note the boy did not hit the meteorite back.

      uppityperson: See! Should NOT have probed the moon!

      X_Digger: He better buy a lottery ticket NOW!! n/t

LBN, June 12, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Turborama: Christian group sues for right to burn gay teen novel

      lolly: Oddly enough, it's very hard to burn books

I tried it once--not in a fit of censorship, just because I had a fireplace and a lot of old, torn-up, yellow-dust infested paperbacks. Very hard for them to catch fire (in F. 451, I believe they doused them in gasoline and blew a torch on them to get them to burn). You have to tear them up into small chunks--then you just have a quick flash paper fire. Then lots of paper-ashes fluttering all over the place.

Now, I just toss old decrepit books into the recycling bin.

      Zenlitened: Bibles compost very nicely, though.

LBN, June 12, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by ronnykmarshall: Our new tag: perpetually angry people

Some of the latest shit from the "oh you gays" crowd.

      MNBrewer: OH NO.... the dreaded p.a.p smear!

GLBT, June 12, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Turborama: (Chinese) Sub collides with sonar array towed by U.S. Navy ship

"In what a U.S. military official calls an 'inadvertent encounter,' a Chinese submarine hit an underwater sonar array being towed by the destroyer USS John McCain on Thursday..."

      Xenotime: Was it from the coast of Alaska? Did Palin see it?

      Captain Hilts: She can't see China from her house. nt

      TheCowsCameHome: She thinks it's in a cabinet near the silverware.

      onehandle: Sub collides with sonar array towed by John McCain

Now that headline would get some attention.

LBN, June 12, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Celebration: Teen Solves Her Own Medical Mystery

"What do you do if the doctors can’t figure out what’s wrong with you? Washington high school senior Jessica Terry decided to do some investigating of her own.

The teen discovered she had a granuloma which indicated Crohn’s disease (an autoimmune disease that attacks digestive cells and prevents absorption of nutrients) while studying tissue diseases in histology class..."

In response to mopinko's contention that removing the colon is "from the middle ages":

      Orrex: And it could leave you with nothing but a semicolon

Thank you, thank you.

      mopinko: try the veil

here all week, i would bet.

      eppur_se_muova: What are you, the Taliban? nt

      mopinko: ? nt

      Orrex: veal =/= veil

      mopinko: doh! nt

Health, June 5, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a locked thread: Can somebody tell me what a "house party-cum-barn raising" is?

response #15 by krispos42

Asked and answered, so I'm locking this now before I have to lock it later after deleting a bunch of stuff.

And, no, I'm not moving it to the Lounge... I fear the wrath of the Lounge mods!


Yours with a grin,
Krispos42, DU moderator

And a DUzy to MichaelHarris for response #1!

GD, June 12, 2009

Poll question by SuperTrouper: Who is the Most Irrational and Unhinged Republican?

The nomination of Hon. Sonia Sotomayor by President Obama to become the next Supreme Court Justice has unmasked the GOP as irrational, bigoted, and insane; their idolatry of the Church of Intolerability is now exposed for all America to see. So the question is: Who is the most irrational and unhinged of this group?

Rush Limbaugh

Michele Bachmann

Tom Tancredo

Newt Gingrich

Sean Hannity

Patrick Buchanan

Anne Coulter

All of the Above

      Forkboy: This is like asking which sand pebble started the beach.

      L. Coyote: Really! How about adding siamese twins, Bush/Cheney?

Joined at the lack of humanity!

      NYC_SKP: Sharing one brain!11!!!!

With Cheney getting the lion's share of it!

      havocmom: They are like those old days of the week underwear

One for each day

      baldguy: Saying a Republican is irrational & unhinged is redundant.

      MadBadger: Booooo...All of the above is a cop out.

      TheKentuckian: Bachmann #1 with a bullet and by a mile

She might just be the least sane employed person in all of Western Civilization.

      Yavin4: Where's The Love for Alan Keyes?

Keyes was an unhinged Republican before being an unhinged Republican was cool.

      saltpoint: A persuasive case could be made for all of the above.

In any given week, in fact, we're talkin' a photo finish.

With the horses running backwards.

At press time, "All of the Above" was winning with 48% of the votes, but Bachmann had racked up an impressive 32%.

GDP, May 29, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Jeffersons Ghost: Marcel Marceau auction nets nearly 500,000 euros

"The battered top hat of legendary French mime Marcel Marceau, his signature sailor suit and other belongings have fetched nearly 500,000 euros ($700,000) at a two-day auction.

Marceau's daughter, Camille, organized the auction to settle her late father's outstanding debts that had helped finance his show. Marceau died 2007 at age 84..."

      MorningGlow: First to ask

Was it a silent auction??

Yeah yeah I know...too easy.

      walkaway: How much did they get for that ...

invisible box?

      Gidney N Cloyd: There are a lot of counterfeit invisible boxes out there. That probably held the price down.

And pieces of the invisible rope are as common as cross fragments.

      Stevenmarc: .



      QueenOfCalifornia: It was a quiet little affair

until a tiny, little car pulled up and a bunch of clowns jumped out...

GD, May 30, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by marmar: Bush calls Clinton 'brother'

"Former President George W. Bush called ex-President Bill Clinton 'his brother' and the two rarely disagreed in their first-ever appearance together on stage.

The Republican and Democratic ex-presidents defended each other at a Toronto forum on Friday, disappointing some in the crowd of 6,000 who expected a more heated debate..."

      spanone: when you're drunk everybody looks like jeb

GD, May 30, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by Tab: Deconstructing hospital food

Course 1
________
Take powdered gelatin mixture
add flavor crystals
Pour into small plastic contain
Add water and dissolve - heating may help dissolution
Chill until jiggly/solid
Serve as "Jell-o"


Course 2:
_________

Chicken by-products
MSG
Lots of salt
Crush to a powder
Add water
Boil, reduce to simmer, serve when slightly above room temperature


Course 3:
_________

Repeat course #2, but use beef instead.


Course #4
_________
Cranberry Juice



Repeat above 3 times a day for 8 days.

Cooking & Baking Group, May 30, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by keep_it_real: Woman calls police after hubby, 82, takes Viagra

      NightWatcher: if it keeps him from rolling out of bed, it's worth it

GD, May 30, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by LeftyFingerPop: I'm going to be a mod next time!!!!

I was just informed!!!!



Do whatever the fuck you want...I don't care!!

      elshiva: Can we have sex threads?

      LeftyFingerPop: Yes. Of course.

      elshiva: Thank you.



The Lounge, May 30, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

OP by global1: If Obama Picked "God" For SCOTUS - How Would The Repugs Reject Him?........

Just curious - we all know that anybody Obama would have picked to fill the SC vacancy - would have been rejected by the Repugs. They are really going off the deep end saying Sotomayor is a racist - and comparing her with the likes of the KKK and David Duke.

How would the Repugs reject "God" - our ultimate judge - if Obama would have picked him/her?

Come on DU - this has got to be good for a few laughs.

      provis99: God is too easy on the death penalty.

He let Noah and family live.

      Cronus Protagonist: God keeps making these homosexuals, and he loves the poor

And JESUS!!! WTF!!! ???

      Starbucks Anarchist: They'd say he's a bigger celebrity than Paris Hilton.

And that he thinks the world revolves around him.

      DrToast: God? You mean the deadbeat dad?

Left it up to the mom to raise his kid. Those aren't the values we need in a Supreme Court Justice.

      KamaAina: Too empathetic



      rocktivity: He's an unwed father who knocked up a married woman

Holy family values, Batman!



      annabanana: (nonono - This would make him a REPUBLICAN nominee)

      Kaleko: God? Way too easy on crime.

Lets it happen all the time!

Flip flopper. Creates stuff, then destroys it, WTF?

Blatant disregard for the law as evidenced by resumé.

Yet another white male, and a Jew... eeww! And much too old to begin with.

Totally unacceptable choice for the US Supreme Court.

      Adsos Letter: God has an obvious religious agenda, and it's antithetical to theirs.

      denem: He's not a Republican.



      pnwmom: He's too creative, doesn't stick to facts. An activist. Makes his own laws. n/t

      old mark: ...and that beard.....

...got to be a commie.

      global1: He Thinks He Knows Everything.......nt

      omega minimo: They'd be totally pissed when they realized God

is a woman

      AzDar: Clearly has gender-identity issues... he wears a dress!



      arcos: He would never die nt

GDP, May 30, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Forkboy: Romney's schedule hints at run in 2012

"Ask Mitt Romney about his presidential ambitions, and he artfully demurs. But his schedule keeps looking like that of someone who has his eyes on 2012.

The former Massachusetts governor, who sought the GOP nomination last year, was the keynote speaker last night at the Virginia Republican Party's big Commonwealth Gala dinner in Richmond, his latest

appearance before the party faithful..."

      Mayberry Machiavelli: Does anybody actually LIKE this guy? Outside CPAC?

Serious question.

      sarah553807: I swear to god

The one thing liberals and conservatives have in common is that they hate this guy

      old mark: I still wanna know....

What the fuck kind of a name is Mitt?

      Forkboy: When he was born his parents said, "Aw shit." The doctors misheard.



      Happyhippychick: I guess he has another $54 million burning a hole in his pocket.

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

GDP, May 30, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

Poll question by Jackeens: Which gate is potentially the most damaging to the Obama presidency?

There are lots of gates so far, but undoubtedly the BIG two involve mustard and a date - so there'll be no 'other' option in this poll. Sorry.

Mustardgate

Dategate

Mustarddategate (that'd be both)

I have a hunch he'll survive both gates

At press time, "I have a hunch he'll survive both gates" was winning with 81% of the votes.

GDP, May 30, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by drmeow: Matador gored in Madrid bullring

"Thousands of spectators watched in horror as a matador was gored during a bullfight in Madrid.

Israel Lancho was rushed to hospital after he was attacked by the enraged animal at the Spanish capital's Las Ventas bullring..."

      Towlie: Too bad the bullfighter wasn't named Juan. (The bull would have scored "a hole in ...")

      MrSlayer: Occupational hazard.

Score one for the good guys.

      ThirdWorldJohn: Originally it was decided not to release the picture for fear that there would be ...

attacks by the bulls against the remaining matadors that entered the bullring in the future

GD, May 31, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by kpete: A third-grader's biography of Dick Cheney

"Dick Cheney was the 43rd president of the United States. The second George Bush needed a ruining mate, and Dick Cheney chose himself. When terrorists hijacked planes on 9/11, Dick Cheney tried to shoot one down. Then he invaded Iraq because it was a bad country with lots of oil. He liked to hurt people and fish. One time he shot his friend in the face, and the friend said he was sorry for getting in the way.

Dick Cheney had four heart attacks and went to the inauguration of Barack Obama in a wheelchair. He was a great president because he kept America safe except for 9/11, and the soldiers killed in Iraq, and the friend he shot in the face."

http://michaelwolffe.blogspot.com/2009/05/...

      Towlie: Cheney was a capable "ruining mate", but did Bush really need his help to ruin the country?

      FlyingSquirrel: Dick Cheney also liked his privacy...

so he removed himself from Google Earth, marked everything that he wrote or looked at as "Top Secret", and had a man-sized safe in his office. I'd tell you what he kept in the safe, but then he would have to kill me.



GD, May 31, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by yellowwood: Microsoft's "Bing" Search Engine Now Operating

"Bing is the new Microsoft search engine slated to replace the existing Live Search. The service was unveiled on May 28, 2009 and will officially launch on June 3, 2009.

Bing will differ functionally and cosmetically from both Live Search and its competitor Google. Bing varies search results according to the subject of the search, and pulls in more content from other sources than search engines have conventionally done. Its features include a navigation panel with which the user can switch between different kinds of searches, summarized contents of search results, and pop-up windows that show the search query keywords in the context of the page..."

      shadowknows69: A Microsoft search engine?

Why don't I save the virus guys some time and just pour a Pepsi directly onto my hard drive.

      willing dwarf: Terrible name, chosen by a committee?

I could see Bingo or Bring or even cherry (as in to cherry pick) but Bing sounds ridiculous.

Maybe it will croon its answers?

      onehandle: Would you let Chandler Muriel Bing perform your vital searches?

Maybe it's specifically engineered to seek celebrity dirt.

      area51: "Would you let Chandler Muriel Bing perform your vital searches?"

You beat me to it.

"Could there BE any worse a search engine?"

I can't resist a silly joke.

      MessiahRp: THIS is the computer/data job Chandler was working on all that time...

They kept it vague all this time for proprietary reasons!

      DefenseLawyer: Bing Crosby is still very popular with the over 80 crowd.

Gotta tap new markets! Think outside the box errrr something.

      Buzz Clik: No doubt it's buggy, will cause your computer to lock up, and will require a service pack

      HopeHoops: I haven't tried Chlamydia or Leprosy yet either - I'm not interested.

      onehandle: "Why don't you Chlamydia that on the Internet?"

Well, at least it sounds like a process.

"Bing" makes me think of a system error. Maybe even the blue screen of death.

GD, June 1, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by jefferson_dem: Typical. The Jake Trapper - Matt Sludge Tag Team: "The Emergence of President Obama's Muslim Roots"

"ABC News' Jake Tapper and Sunlen Miller report: The other day we heard a comment from a White House aide that never would have been uttered during the primaries or general election campaign.

During a conference call in preparation for President Obama's trip to Cairo, Egypt, where he will address the Muslim world, deputy National Security Adviser for Strategic Communications Denis McDonough said 'the President himself experienced Islam on three continents before he was able to -- or before he's been able to visit, really, the heart of the Islamic world -- you know, growing up in Indonesia, having a Muslim father -- obviously Muslim Americans (are) a key part of Illinois and Chicago...'

Since the election, however... the White House has been increasingly forthcoming about the president's roots. Especially when reaching out to the Muslim world..."

...Guess what slimy chunk of yellow journalism sludge has bannered across the top of his cesspoolish website?

      SadeMN: Forget it Chinatown, it's Jake. n/t

GDP, June 2, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by Mike 03: Did anyone like Mel Gibson's "Hamlet"?

      Dr. Strange: Mel Gibson?

Dude, I think Hamlet was written by Shakespeare.

The Lounge, June 3, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

On a thread by sabra: Rove: Bush found time to read the Bible "from cover to cover" every year

      notadmblnd: yeah, and I'm the person they modeled the Barbi doll after

      CJCRANE: * read the front cover

and the back cover.

      Va Lefty: Too bad he couldn't find time to read The Constitution!!

And see below for a Special Visual Achievement award from this thread.

GD, June 3, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...