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The Whole World Is Watching
 Welcome to the advancing in another direction DUzy Awards, recognizing pith, palaver and play from the past week on DU. Congratulations to this week's winners!The DUzy Awards might just be announced every Friday night. Previous awards can be found in my journal. Note to Mods: Skinner has authorized the DUzy Awards to be posted in GD. This should have appeared last week. On a thread by sabra: Sanford Compares Plight To King David "South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford is telling his state agency chiefs that he's sorry for keeping them in the dark when he went to see Argentina to see his mistress. The Republican on Friday held his typical public meeting with the agency chiefs, but started with apologies and likening his confession and future to the biblical plight of King David..." Occulus: I stubbed my toe this morning Now I know how hobbled gold miners in South Africa feel Buzz Clik: In a related story: King David finds similarity between Sanford and Goliath. Both men clearly had been struck in the head by a projectile that rendered them senseless. CreekDog: Wait, did he kill Maria's husband???  dgibby: And the e-mails came right out of the Song of Solomon, no doubt ! Next thing, he'll be proclaiming he's the 2nd coming of Jesus H. Christ. Of course, his confusion might be understandable after his wife finishes crucifying him. Xipe Totec: He's King of the Jews now? Alert the fundies... OP by CoffeeCat: My husband just went for a hike... Should I be worried? Kookaburra: Well, if he's not the repuke governor of some small southern state, I think you're okay. jazzjunkysue: Only if he comes back with a sharp new wardrobe and a couple new dance steps. Otherwise, you're fine. nightrain: what do his aides say about where he is? TheCowsCameHome: Was he humming 'Ave Maria' when he left? SOS: Only if he comes home on Friday spouting Bible verses with his underwear on backwards. On a thread by yodermon: REPORT: 'INFOMERCIAL KING' BILLY MAYS DIES Gidney N Cloyd: Celebrity deaths normally come in threes. BUT IF YOU ACT NOW... Dr.Phool: Did anybody hear that Michael Jackson died too? Total news blackout! On a thread by L0oniX: Billy Mays - RIP pipi_k: Well I feel like a real shit because I would not only mute the sound, I would yell at the TV and tell him to "fuck off", "piss off", "kiss my ass", or "eat shit and die". I suppose I'll have to do penance and buy some Kaboom toilet cleaner or something... Kurovski: we're all very upset about the loss... but please don't do something rash. YOY: Well I have to say this "MY GREATEST CONDOLENCES TO HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS!!!" "YOU JUST WON'T BELIEVE JUST HOW BAD I FEEL! YOU JUST GOTTA TRY THESE FEELINGS OF SORROW FOR YOURSELF!!!" On a thread by Liberal_in_LA: Woman accepts chips for sex, she's arrested, Frito Lays employee goes free "An Oklahoma City woman pleaded no contest to prostitution charges after she accepted a box of Frito-Lay chips for oral sex. Lahoma Sue Smith told police who found her in her car with a man looking for a prostitute that the man didn’t have any money, so she agreed to accept a $30 case of chips as payment, the Oklahoman reported. The man worked for Frito-Lay. He was not arrested based on officer discretion..." Blue-Jay: All that AND a bag of chips? What a deal! Skittles: he should have been arrested for being a cheap bastard MajorChode: Hey, those were Frito-Lays It's not like they were a case of pork rinds. CoffeeCat: Ya got yer... ...great lay, you got yer bad lay...and you got yer Frito-Lay. proteus_lives: I guess it's true. You can't eat just one.  hootinholler: Damn, what would she do for a Klondike Bar?  On a thread by LLStarks: Can somebody explain the conservative fixation of ACORN to me? The Straight Story: Nuts attract nuts  On a thread by LynneSin: Men: How do you feel when women check out your 'package'? Bucky: Never happens, although they occasionally ask me to put it back in and zip up. And I'm like, hey, why you lookin'? And they're all "ew, some of us are tryin' to teach here, pervo" and it just never turns out right Poll question by LoZoccolo: Would you vote for Barack Hussein Obama or Lee L. Mercer Jr. in the 2012 primary?  I am happy with Barack Hussein Obama and would vote for him in the 2012 primary. I am not happy with Barack Hussein Obama but would vote for him in the 2012 primary. I am not happy with Barack Hussein Obama and would vote for Lee L. Mercer Jr. in the 2012 primary.Bluenorthwest: Lee Mercer Jr ? My answer has to be 'all three'. Poll question by zulchzulu: What has Senator Franken not done that he said he would so far? Al hasn't ended global warming, damnit! Al hasn't ended war, damnit! Al hasn't ended obesity, damnit! Al hasn't made Minnesota have better weather, damnit! Al hasn't punched Lindsey Graham in the face yet, damnit! Al hasn't let Max Cleland roll over Sen. Saxby Chambliss while laughing, damnit! Al hasn't done a Stuart Smalley tribute on C-SPAN yet, damnit! Al hasn't sponsored the Rush Limbaugh Drug Abuse Act yet, damnit! All the above, damnit! Otherkarynnj: He didn't take office in January as he said he would in the campaign JamesA1102: After 5 hours, he's a total failure! We need to hold his feet to the fire and not be apologists for this do-nothing Senator! On a thread by MountainLaurel: Paleontologists brought to tears, laughter by Creation Museum "For a group of paleontologists, a tour of the Creation Museum seemed like a great tongue-in-cheek way to cap off a serious conference. But while there were a few laughs and some clowning for the camera, most left more offended than amused by the frightening way in which evolution -- and their life's work -- was attacked..." sakabatou: The Disneyland of Ignorance. On a thread by Towlie: Who is the "Get A BRAIN! MORANS" guy? Does anyone know his name? Tommy_Carcetti: He's the lead singer of a conservative rock group called the Il Eagles. Apparently they recently performed in Buffalo, New York: http://thebuffalobean.com/2009/03/28/buffa... "First on stage was the rock band, Il Eagles, a Missouri based act who the St. Louis Riverfront Times once described as having a “bluesy-funk sound” and heralded as “possibly being the next Oasis.” Mustachioed Il Eagles lead singer Tom Moran came fully dressed for the part, sporting an American flag bandana, sunglasses and a tee-shirt of his hometown baseball team, the St. Louis Cardinals. Moran and his bandmates wasted no time in jumping into their eight minute jam titled, “Radio Lady and the Tamale Children,” which Moran described as being an allegorical tale of a small business forced to shutter its doors after being hit with crippling unemployment compensation taxes. After striking his last chord of the song, Moran directed his anger at the 44th President. “Since when do taxes solve any of our problems, President Obama? Get a brain!” Moran shouted as the audience cheered." OP by Fuzz: I was looking at my post history and I think I may be a disruptor. How do I ignore myself? On a thread by Amerigo Vespucci: 11,000 tickets + downtown L.A. @ 10 AM on a weekday = "Clusterfuck of Biblical Proportions" "Staples Center will be the site of a public memorial service on Tuesday for Michael Jackson, a publicist for the Jackson family said Thursday, but it is unclear who will pay for the massive law enforcement deployment necessary for the event. Ken Sunshine, a Jackson family representative, said the service will be held at 10 a.m. Tuesday at the downtown arena, site of the singer's final rehearsal..." excess_3: have any other cities/dates been announced? .n/t On a thread by RamboLiberal: GOP, White House at Odds on Sotomayor Documents "White House Counsel Greg Craig told Sen. Jeff Sessions, R-Ala., in a letter that board meeting minutes and other papers detailing the Puerto Rican Legal Defense and Education Fund's activities while Sotomayor was an outside adviser shouldn't impact her nomination because she had no role in writing or approving them. But Sessions, the top Republican on the Senate committee that will consider her nomination, said the papers could shed light on Sotomayor's judicial approach, particularly her view of racial preferences in hiring..." WCGreen: We got Six Ty Sen A Tors... We Got Six Ty Sen A Tors.... Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah.... This Sessions is over... On a thread by camera obscura: BREAKING: Palin will not run for re-election and will resign in July Canuckistanian: She was a Governor? I thought she was an internationally renowned woman of mystery. No Elephants: In other news, Gov. Sanford's logs indicate seven unexplained trips to Wassila.  derby378: And so begins Slappy the Dodo Bird's long and winding road to defeat and failure in 2012 Mind if I shed my crocodile tear now, or should I just burst out in a gut laugh? darkstar: My sources in Anchorage say that she's going to be on 30 Rock playing "the creepy, scam artist sister Liz never knew she had." Much hilarity ensues. LiberalEsto: Maybe she's pregnant again Possible names: Twig, Swig, Swag, Cog, Bunk, Tweet beac: Well, fuck. I'll never win another DUzy now!  krkaufman: Will her nickname now change ... ??? ... from Saracuda... to Saracoulda? NBachers: Next stop: Celebrity Boxing against Lorena Bobbitt OP by ColbertWatcher: Now that Palin has aborted her job as Alaska governor ... ... what should she do now? If you were one of her advisers, what job would you steer her toward? Dennis Donovan: Flight attendant - just try not to look "slutty" or you'll hear it from Letterman...  BlooInBloo: Late term abortion, no less. OP by JamesA1102: Top 10 reasons Palin is resigning 10. Joining the Alaska National Guard just in case Putin rears his head again. 9. Needs the extra time to buy up and shred every copy of this month’s Vanity Fair. 8. RNC accidently emailed her the speech meant for Mark Sanford. 7. Plotting revenge against Letterman is a full time job. 6. Wanted to knock all the Michael Jackson coverage off of cable news. 5. Premiering this fall: “Regis & Sarah”. 4. Finally decided to study up for the Katie Couric interview 3. Heard Biden had left the country and is hoping to be considered for the VP job again 2. Is moving to Minnesota to head up the recount for Norm Coleman 1. Joining cast of Saturday Night Live as a Tina Fey impersonator. Festivito: Taking up Larry Flynt offer for better cheesecake photos. Alaska runs cold, our governor has just been sold, our governor is a centerfold... Can you hear the music? JamesA1102: #11 Going to star in the remake of 'Dumb & Dumber' with Michele Bachman. OP by Adenoid_Hynkel: I guess being a governor is sort of like being Sarah Palin... ... except that you have actual responsibilities. On a thread by brettdale: What is the reason for Palin leaving office? kayakjohnny: For the good of Alaskans and her kids and soldiers who are fighting to move the ball down the court with one eye on bloodsport politics from outside the governor's chair where I'm not wired to operate with not so conventional or comfortable legislative or administrative success at this moment in time, on another scale, politics as usual, even though some question the timing, and kids said hell yes, prayer and consideration and troops, magnet on fridge, affect change, call an audible so team can win, you have my hearts, postive agenda, general mcarthur, retreating, i'm out...  OP by Suji to Seoul: Hey, Normie. . .I have some gifts for you. . .four actually!! (immaturity warning) GD, June 30, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu... On a thread by rvablue: WARNING: Cover your keyboards before opening (PIC) response #2 by Orrex response #10 by KansDem response #19 by brendan120678 response #35 by comrade snarky response #119 by beac GD, June 30, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu... OP by eppur_se_muova: So -- we finally get an R who values a Latina woman's mature point of view -- response #3 by zbdent GD, June 30, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu... OP by EarlG: The Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 367, item #1 And check out these responses to item #7 response #11 by harris8 response #34 by eppur_se_muova response #40 by jmowreader Editorials & Other Articles, June 29, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu... OP by SpiralHawk: "I did not have wide-stance republicon sex with that iceberg." - Sarah P. (R) GD, July 3, 2009: http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu... |
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Jeff Rosenzweig  DU Donor15521 posts Member since 2003 before July 6th "Never attribute more intelligence to your enemy than to yourself and your brothers." - Abbie Hoffman, Revolution for the Hell of It My Articles for Democratic Underground
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