It happened his first year as Governor. Concerned about the impression his non-riding would have with Texas voters, his Staff decided it'd be best if they staged a photo-op on a horse. They picked out the steed they thought best for the novice rider, and two of his aides helped him into the saddle. No sooner was he seated, though, when the horse bolted, took off with no warning whatsoever. Mr Bush clung bravely to the reins, and tried to wrap his legs tight around the haunches, but the speed of the horse, coupled with the wild motion of its galloping, threw Mr Bush from the saddle.

To the horror of all the witnesses, Mr Bush's foot became ensnared in the stirrup, and though he crashed hard to the ground, he was trapped and drug helplessly behind the charging steed. Some of the younger aides rushed after him to help, but it was hopeless -- the galloping beast rushed ahead, and Mr Bush bounced wildly behind, his arms flailing helplessly, his head and shoulders repeatedly smashed on the hard ground beneath the thundering hooves.

It seemed, for a moment, that all was lost and Mr Bush would be pounded to death before his horrified Staff. Shouts of anguish and despair arose from them all and the end seemed inevitable, but fortunately, all the hubbub alerted the WalMart manager, who stepped outside and pulled the plug.

And so, you can understand, ever since "the incident" Mr Bush has shied away from the ponies. . .