I propose a Rapture Amendment to the Constitution of the United States with the following provisions:

1. We will let you pass inane resolutions concerning abortion, gay marriage, etc.;

2. We will let you veto beneficial legislation; and

3. If you believe the rapture is imminent you have to start taking public transportation (because otherwise you might kill some of us who need to see the light after your gone) or you have to stay at home and keep your opinions to yourself.

In return, they will let us have the rights and legislation they find so offensive until after they rapture. Then we'll see the light and we will want to adopt all this insane stuff ourselves.

Until then, they must promise to stop encroaching and eroding on what little remains of our Constitution, our advances in medical science and other technologies. For example, five minutes after they leave, all of us promise to pick up shovels, march to ANWR and get the oil ourselves. Along the way there all of us promise to destroy what's left of our environment. Ten minutes after their gone we'll all take up protesting abortion clinics but only after they leave.

Think about it. This is a win-win situation. What we're basically asking for is to create our own hell on earth by doing all the evil things we Dems can think of - things like universal health care, electoral reform, peace, continued advancement in all areas of science, lowered CO2 emissions, etc. and by doing so we might them rapture earlier than expected.

After all, if they are leaving why do they feel such a big rush to fuck up our lives? If we're wrong and they actually do rapture then we will have learned our lesson and will try to devote the our lives to being just as hypocritical as they were when they were here.

Besides, who knows, maybe those who think they will be raptured won't be (I know if I were FSM I wouldn't want most of those people around me) and then maybe they'll realize that they spent a little too much time practicing religious hatred and intolerance when they should have been practicing the original intent of their religious precepts.