Hi,

It has become apparent to me that I am having a hard enough time just breathing these days. I am staring hard, every morning, at my children to gather the courage to get up and keep living. In a nutshell, it is being a walking dead woman. I have, so very much, appreciated the many kindnesses shown to me/us over the last month. I said it before but Leonard's family was stunned by the outpouring of messages here. The truly unfortunate thing is that my husband never realized how well and truly loved he was. He was a playful boy and a loving man all wrapped up in an incredibly handsome package. And I still can't make myself believe he's gone. My heart and my head are stuck back at 12:32, Sunday August 26. The crushing crowds at the funeral home nor the many visitors over the next few days didn't do anything to make it any more real for me. My life, my love, my soul is gone. When I see the pain reflected in the faces of his coworkers, our friends, my family...it intensifies the fact.

His funeral was a tribute to who he was. A man. 32 of his friends, neighbors, coworkers and family got up to speak. I could have listened all day. My mother in law read the letter that I had put in his anniversary card to begin the service (you can read it on my blog posted 7/19-my blog is in my profile-if you wish). Over 500 people signed the book.

And still, I want to see his truck pull in the drive. I ache for him.

You have all been dear and wonderful friends to me. Whether it was arguing in GD...or goofing off in the lounge, or telling me (via PM) what a shitty mod I was. If you want to keep up with us, I post a lot on my blog. I'll leave my PM box open, but it may take awhile to get a reply. But I have to be done posting because I'm not me anymore. You are all sweet people. You really are.

I just can't do this anymore. Because I'm not me anymore.

Again, thanks for everything. You're a wonderful bunch. Here are some of my favorite pictures of MrG--I am sorry dialup users:



Angel Flying Too Close to the Ground---Willie Nelson

If you had not have fallen
Then I would not have found you
Angel flying too close to the ground
And I patched up your broken wing
And hung around a while
Tried to keep your spirits up
While you were feelin' down
I knew someday that you would fly away
For love's the greatest healer to be found
So leave me if you need to
I will still remember
Angel flying too close to the ground
Fly on, fly on past the speed of sound
I'd rather see you up
Than see you down
Leave me if you need to
I will still remember
Angel flying too close to the ground