My email group had a raging ongoing flame war as well as the political message boards on aol. I was right in the thick of it all, defending Bill throughout the impeachment*, then on into 2000 where I chastised Al Gore for distancing himself from Bill. After September 11, 2001, I don't know how many times I had to correct people who said "Clinton did nothing" in regard to terrorism. The reason for my strong defense was because I adored and totally believed in him. In them. Bill and Hill, the co-presidents.

The reason I believed in them was because of how I felt when I came face to face with Bill twice on his campaign trails. I was lucky enough to be front row both times and offered a Clinton/Gore sign to hold up (I still have them).
The second is most vivid to me. It was at Mill Creek Park in Portland, Maine. When Bill sprang out of the limo, WBLM played "Let the Day Begin" by The Call and the very air changed. Bill began to shake hands and when he finally made it around to me, I swear time stood still. He grasped my hand in both of his (his hands were dry, warm, and faintly calloused), looked directly at me with those beautiful, smiling eyes and said "Hi! Thanks so much for coming out to support me." I mean, he was "there" with me, in the moment. He was REAL and I BELIEVED in him because of it. Much to my delight, a podium was placed directly in front of me so I had one of the best spots in the park. I wanted to kick the woman with the large sign protesting sanctions on Iraq, or NAFTA or Welfare reform (I forget which but it pissed me off that she was there). How dare she ruin this glorious day!?

In 2003 I started writing to Hillary, begging her to run for President. When I finally woke up and looked at her voting record (thank you, person here on DU who brought it to my attention with links for the lazy) I stopped begging and was actually relieved that she didn't run.

I'm not trying to write a book here. All I really want to say is that finding out your hero is actually covered in slime HURTS, DAMMIT! To have idolized and defended these two makes me feel ashamed and foolish. And now, with each new lie, and with each new dirty deal revealed, I am starting to feel nothing but contempt. It really does feel personal.

I was just wondering if anyone else has felt the same at all?

*I still have a nagging question about the whole Monica ordeal: We all know that Monica sent the infamous blue Gap dress to her mom for safe keeping. How the heck did Monica explain it to her? "Uh, mom? I got some of the President's stuff on my dress. Can you save it in case I'm ever secretly taped and need evidence to support what happened?" I mean, was there a note with the dress? What? Okay, I'm done now.