There’s only a few things in this world that elected Republicans are good for: war, famine, pestilence and death, an over-abundance of hypocrisy, and the occasional laugh.

“Take our new campaign slogan – please!” It’s a Henny Youngman punchline, sans the punch, but it already has the citizenry rolling in the aisles.

My first thought on hearing it was an obvious one: What marketing genius came up with this crap? (My second thought was that it was probably Mark Penn – but that’s neither here nor there.)

After months of being inundated with Change We Can Believe In from the Obama campaign, the GOP – as creative and insightful as ever – have decided to relaunch their same-old/same-old product with all the imagination of a Pepsi PR executive coming up with Well, It’s Kinda, Sorta the Real Thing! in an attempt to appeal to Coca-Cola consumers.

Of course, there is an underlying, albeit inadvertent, honesty in claiming to offer Change You Deserve – because that’s exactly what the Republicans are offering: what they have determined the average, middle-class American “deserves”. And over the past eight years, we’ve all had a belly-full of the GOP’s idea of our just desserts.

One can only ponder what changes would or could be made that wouldn’t simply be an undoing of the disasters a Republican administration, aided and abetted by their party colleagues, has created to begin with. Perhaps by change they simply mean a lessening of the damage already done, a slight pulling-back from the precipice we, as a nation, are about to fall off of, thanks to their incompetence, self-service, and out-and-out greed.

I suspect the “change” they think the peasantry deserves is a slight restoration of the Constitution and the rule of law – perhaps a promise to suspend illegal wiretapping activities on statutory holidays, or maybe a public finger-wagging and a half-hearted shame, shame directed at our country’s torturers before they go about their business of waterboarding the next victim.

And no doubt the Change We Deserve will have its impact on the economy. I can foresee (after lengthy negotiations with the oil conglomerates at the next Republican-Exxon sleepover) a one-cent per-gallon price reduction at the pump, or (dare I imagine it!) raising our next “stimulus check” by fifty cents per family member.

Surely the biggest largesse that would flow from that promised Change We Deserve would be a reassessment of our occupation of Iraq: no, we still won’t leave, we won’t see a cohesive plan to end the violence, and we certainly won’t see a reduction in troop deaths. But once sworn-in, President John McCain will cut back on his golfing even moreso than his predecessor did – and you can take that kind of change to the bank, although there will be a hefty service charge for extracting those pennies from their paper wrappers.

Surely the Republicans, had they put their minds to it – assuming they had any – would have come up with a more apt slogan to launch what is already doomed to be a crushing defeat in November, like "We’re Really, Really, Really Sorry", "Contrary to Popular Belief, We’re Actually NOT With Stupid", or, more appropriately, the oft-used fallback position of the battering husband, "Gimme Another Chance, Babe, and I Promise Things Will Change!”

The great irony of the Republican wannabes running on a Change You Deserve platform is blatantly apparent to everyone (except, of course, the idiots promoting it). Had the GOP not mired the nation in an unwinnable war, an economy that sucks like an Eletrolux, and a standing among the world’s nations that makes the Third Reich seem almost respectable by comparison, the citizenry wouldn’t be clamoring for change in the first place.

Well, let me end with a prediction: After four years of a Democrat in the White House, and a Democratic majority in the House and Senate, the campaign slogan in 2012 will be, "We Promise Not to Change a Thing We’ve Been Doing". It’s a slogan that is bound to ensure yet another electoral victory four years hence, not only for the Democrats, but for the country.

There has been much discussion at DU over the past few months about how posters have gone crazy as a result of their dedication to one candidate or the other.

I don’t think we’re quite there yet, but I have compiled a list of things to watch for whereby we will all know that true insanity has set in …

kpete will post only articles from supermarket tabloids (e.g. ”PROOF Obama Is a Martian”, “Hillary Divorced Bill Years Ago – Present ‘Husband’ is a Look-Alike”, and will argue with anyone on her thread as to the veracity of her post.

Top Ten Conservative Idiots will drop off the Most Viewed list, and will eventually be abandoned due to outcries of unfairness towards John McCain.

As a result of the above, EarlG will be tombstoned.

WillPitt will out himself as a troll who has been on the Republican payroll for years.

H2O Man will start posting absolute gibberish that no one can understand.

Skinner will declare himself as a third party candidate for the presidency, and will run a DU Donation Drive in order to raise money for his campaign.

ALL present Clinton and Obama supporters will switch sides, and spend the next six months vehemently arguing that they never really supported the other candidate. Links to everyone’s previous statements will clog the internetz tubes.

CaliforniaPeggy will be kicked-off the website as a result of her consistent nastiness towards her fellow posters. (She will later re-emerge as PalCeg, which will fool no one.)

MadFloridian will admit that she’s never even been to Florida, no less lived there, and every post she’s made about activities in that state were completely fabricated.

Due to the foul language and personal threats contained in every post about politics, only threads posted in the Cooking & Baking Group will be considered for publication on the Greatest Page.

The Lounge will be completely free of copycat threads.

GD-P, whether classified as Primaries or Politics, will cease to exist, having been replaced with an "I HATE everyone who doesn’t support ________" forum.

The Home Page will be completely empty, because no one has anything to say – about anything, to anybody, ever again. So there.

The Mods will start responding to arguments by immediately TS’ing any poster who hits the Alert button.

Hundreds of individual Ignored lists will contain ‘ignored posters’ in numbers that actually surpass the number of registered DUers.

Several emoticons (e.g. ) will no longer be visible when posted, due to having faded from over-use.

Dozens of DUers will attempt to 'gaslight' others by changing their sig-line to Sig lines temporarily turned off due to high volume.

Due to technical difficulties, the entire DU Website will go down for three days – and people will continue trying to post on the Server Not Found page.

The Reply button will be replaced with an Oh, yeah, F&*k YOU!!! button.

Like I said, we’re not quite there … yet.

As the Primary War rages on in the land of Democratica, the Republican nominee, John McCain, continues to speak his message into the wrong end of microphones across the nation, unabated and unchallenged.

This state of affairs does not bode well for our party’s chances to capture the White House, along with an increased majority in the House and the Senate. Let’s not forget that the odds of McCain becoming our next president cannot possibly be over-estimated, given the advantages he enjoyed entering into the general election cycle ahead of his Democratic opponent, Barack Obama whoever that may be.

From the word go, (or, more appropriately, the phrase ya’ll mosey along now), McCain came into the race having inherited the remainder of George W. Bush’s hardcore constituency, an estimated nineteen people who will spare no effort in ensuring that his chances of winning in November will consistently fluctuate between slim and none.

One need only look at Johnny-Come-Way-Too-Lately’s proud record to understand his underwhelming appeal among the masses.

Here’s a man who is ready from Day Three-Thousand Two-Hundred and Twenty-Six to assume the responsibilities of his former Commander-in-Chief, at-the-ready to unfurl the Mission REALLY Accomplished banner a hundred years after his own demise.

The fact that he’s not afraid to sacrifice our entire military and every last civilian in Iraq in order to achieve this goal is proof that he can easily surpass his predecessor not only in mindless rhetoric, but the stay-the-course logic that has made this war so popular among the thousands of Americans still supporting it.

Voters will no doubt be drawn to the family values of a man who unceremoniously dumped his first wife after she became disabled, in order to marry a much younger woman with a pile of dough ready smile, living proof that the American Dream is still attainable for those willing to work hard, overcome all obstacles, and marry an heiress.

No doubt McCain’s biggest asset is his don’t hold me back, let me at ‘em scrappiness, a man willing to fight for the American citizenry with the same the-gloves-are-off mentality that led him to embrace one G.W. Bush - after his operatives spread the rumor that McCain’s adopted daughter was a half-black love-child born of an illicit affair - a moment caught in a now-legendary photo-op known as The Hug Heard Around the World.

One would be foolish to discount, in the midst of presently-looming economic catastrophe, McCain’s candor and honesty in saying he “doesn’t know much about that stuff”, or to nay-say his ability to handle the aftermath of a natural disaster – because, let’s face it, what are the odds of another Katrina type disaster having to be shoved to one side because it interferes with his birthday celebrations?

McCain’s platform presents a particular challenge to those who would just as well not participate in the much-touted 21st Century. His recent speeches about Czechoslovakia are but a prelude to his can’t miss backward-looking agenda, which includes final approval of the Louisiana Purchase, statehood for the territories of Utah and Wyoming, and official recognition of the horseless carriage as the unlikely-but-possible mode of transportation of the future.

Make no mistake. While we Democrats are rendered helpless by infighting, the McCain campaign is firing-up the mimeograph machine, oiling and polishing their state-of-the-art telegraph apparatus, hiring additional staff to rotor-router the internetz tubes when they’re clogged, and will no doubt have the difference between Sunni and Shia down pat before Obama one of our own is declared the official nominee of our party.

Time’s a-wastin’, my fellow Democrats. This guy McCain is nipping at our heels – and if we drag out this primary process a minute longer, he could lose the presidency long before we even have a chance to enter the race.

Some people said that a young newcomer to the national political scene would never make it past the first few weeks of the primaries … but he did.

Some people said that a fresh-faced, humble man was no match for the legendary, well-oiled Clinton campaign machine … but he was.

Some people said that one candidate was ‘inevitable’, and would have it ‘wrapped-up’ by Super Tuesday … but it never happened.

Some people said that eloquent speeches wouldn’t capture the imagination of new voters and bring them into the Democratic fold … but they did.

Some people said that a voice that spoke of hope and change would never be heard above the din of ‘politics as usual’ … but it was.

Some people said that focusing on the big money and the big states was the only way to win … but it wasn’t.

Some people said that appealing to the grassroots was a waste of time … but it paid off.

Some people said that negative, ‘kitchen sink’ campaigning was expected, and anyone who wouldn’t sink to those depths was a loser … but they were wrong.

Some people said that big rallies and huge crowds wouldn’t translate into votes … but it happened.

Some people said that the relentless attacks by the media would destroy a man who chose to be truthful and honest … but they only made him stronger.

Now some people are saying that the kid from Illinois – the one who has a vision for a better America, the one who understands that accepting the status quo is just another way of saying don’t fight against the system that has failed us all, the one who encourages diplomacy over war, solutions to problems rather than band-aid rhetoric – can’t possibly win in November.

Well, all you have to do is look back at the predictions of some people; it’s obvious they don’t have a very good track record when it comes to knowing what they’re talking about.

It should be obvious to everyone how this all started, and where it all led.

Video shows up on YouTube: excerpt from "The War Room” showing a scene where Kantor speaks about Indiana voters.

Hill camp: “Doctored!”
Obama camp: “Truth!”
Sane DUer: “Why are we arguing about Doctor Ruth?”

Obama camp: “Listen up – link here. He said, ‘white n*gg*rs’.”
Hill camp: “He said, ‘night-riggers’, referring to election fraud – like Diebold.”
Obama camp: “No, he said, ‘Wright sold’, as in Wright sold Obama out. When are you people going to stop slamming Reverend Wright?”
Hill camp: “Oh, there you go again – always claiming you’re right! Clear as a bell – he said, ‘Right, this is so old,' referring to smear tactics coming from Obamites.”
Obama camp: “Are you sh*tting me? He said, ‘Obama bites’. And don’t tell me to go to hell!”

Obama camp: “After all the things you guys have said about Wright, now you know what it’s like for the shoe to be on the other foot.”
Hill camp: “You guys are a bunch of hypocrites! You see that now, don’t you?”
Obama camp: “Who are you calling a hippo? And BTW, your gal isn’t fit to shine Obama’s shoes!”
Sane DUer: “Shoes? Why are we arguing about Condoleeza Rice?”

Obama camp: “So now the Hillary crowd are screaming because this clip has outed them as Indiana-haters!”
Hill camp: “Why are you talking about being outed? Is this yet another post suggesting she’s a lesbian? Give it a rest! And FYI, Hillary never said she hated Indians!”
Obama camp: “Oh, yeah, we know she never said she hated Indians – in fact, she wants to give them all of our high-tech computer jobs.”
Sane DUer: “Why are we arguing about Steve Jobs?”

Obama camp: “So now Hill’s supporters are complaining, when it’s their turn to defend against smear tactics – that’s rich!”
Hill camp: “Did you just call Hillary a bitch?
Obama camp: “No, I didn’t! But frankly, I don’t give a flying f*ck that you think I did!”
Sane DUer: “Why are we arguing about Frank Rich? I thought we were talking about Steve Jobs.”

Hill camp: “You people will say anything to make Hillary look bad! Even to the point of insinuating that she’s a bitch!”
Obama camp: “Hey, if the shoe fits …”
Sane DUer: “Are we back to arguing about Condi again?”

Obama camp: “That video clip speaks volumes about where the Hillary campaign’s head is at!”
Hillary camp: “What video?
Obama camp: “The clip from ’The War Room’.”
Hill camp: “The 'War Room’? That sounds like an old John Wayne flick – what the f*ck does that have to do with anything?”
Obama camp: “I don’t remember. But I think Richard Widmark is in it, too.”
Hill camp: “I don't remember either.”
Obama camp: “Well, whatever – fuck you!”
Hill camp: “No, fuck you – a thousand times, with a cherry on top!”
Obama camp: “With a cherry on top?
Hill camp: “Yeah, absolutely – PM me!”
Obama camp: “Done.”
Hill camp: “What were we arguing about?”
Obama camp: “I don’t remember.”
Hill camp: “Me neither. Want to get together and watch a flick, and then – well, we’ll see what happens.”
Obama camp: “Sounds good. Whadda ya say we rent ’The War Room’?”
Hill camp: “Okay. We can discuss what Kantor actually said. Because that YouTube clip was doctored!”
Obama camp: “It was the truth!”
Sane DUer: “Okay, I get it. We’re back to arguing about Doctor Ruth. Thanks for all the info!”

I remember when Democrats were infuriated when the Supreme Court announced a recount of votes in Florida was to be stopped, so that they could decide who the next president would be.

Now I hear some Democrats applauding the idea that another group, the SDs, should ignore the votes of the delegates who represent the voters, so that they can decide who the next president will be.

I remember when Democrats believed in the absolute separation of church and state.

Now I hear some Democrats pointing to a candidate’s affiliation with his church as a legitimate means to question his suitability to hold office.

I remember when Democrats rallied together when a Republican attacked one of our own.

Now I see some Democrats posting links to GOP ads, or quoting right-wing hacks, delighting in the fact that they vilify one of our own.

I remember when Democrats demanded absolute fairness and legitimacy in our election process.

Now I hear some Democrats demanding that votes garnered in illegitimate voting processes be counted, regardless of the unfairness that would result from doing so.

I remember when Democrats were passionate about having another Democrat in the White House.

Now I hear some Democrats discussing how it wouldn’t be so bad to lose this election to a Republican – because it would give their candidate-of-choice another kick at the can in four years.

I remember when Democrats could easily see through the pointless, pandering proposals – like “gas tax holidays” – by those on the other side of the aisle.

Now I see some Democrats supporting such nonsensical ideas, simply because their candidate-of-choice supports them.

I remember when Democrats demanded that once rules were set in place, they were to be followed by everyone.

Now I see some Democrats demanding that rules be changed mid-stream in order to benefit one candidate, to the detriment of the other.

I remember when Democrats circled the wagons when under attack by the GOP.

Now I see some Democrats cheering the attacks of the GOP, as long as those attacks are on the other Democratic candidate and not their own.

I remember when Democrats laughed at the ludicrous idea that things such as flag-pins were a measure of one’s patriotism.

Now I see some Democrats pointing to such trinkets as a measure of the patriotism of one of their fellow party members.

I remember when Democrats passionately deplored the saber-rattling threats of war-mongering Republicans.

Now I see some Democrats dismissing a threat of “obliterating” another country as being nothing of importance.

I remember when I was secure in the fact that all of us here – at the end of the day, when all was said and done – were ultimately all on the same side.

Nowadays, I’m not so sure.

Dear Former Bush Supporters:

Please forgive me for not having written in a while, but with all of the brouhaha surrounding the primaries, I’m afraid I have been remiss in keeping in touch with my friends on the other side of the aisle.

I know that you and I have had our differences over the past seven-plus years, but that’s all blood under the bridge now, so I just wanted to drop a line and catch up on things.

So ... here we all are, as a citizenry, a nation, a people. Whadda ya think?

The economy is tanking, and people are losing their homes, their health insurance, their jobs – you know, the jobs that you insisted would be plentiful once Georgie got going, the old ones that have disappeared and the new ones that never materialized.

The price of filling-up at the pump has skyrocketed, along with the cost of food, heating your home, sending your kids to college, and just about everything else.

Hey, remember when we all used to talk about giving our kids a better life than we had? Those were the days, huh? That was before your fiscally-responsible Republican president plunged the country into a debt that not only our kids, but our great-grandkids will be saddled with for decades. At this rate, they won’t even be able to afford a one-way ticket to India or China in order to find what used to be a good ol’ American job.

One thing I can’t argue with is your assertions about the phony War on Terror – I admit it; you were right all along. Georgie’s policies have been wildly successful in encouraging more anti-American sentiment than even I could have imagined, not to mention the upsurge in recruitment to “organizations” like Al Qadea. I don’t know how I could have missed his obvious efforts to ensure we won’t be running out of terrorists any time soon.

I must say I am surprised that after your initial rallying around the War in Iraq, so many of you are now singing a completely different tune. Makes me harken back to the days when I was a traitor because I said it would all end badly, and you were the patriot because you knew victory was just around that next corner. Last poll I checked, the majority of Americans think Iraq is a disaster and want out NOW. Have you changed your mind – or are you just lying to the pollsters as a goof? If those WMDs hadn’t been found, this whole misadventure would have been a total disaster, wouldn’t you say?

I know I’m waxing nostalgic here, but remember when you were telling me how great things were going to be under the fine Christian leadership of W? Good God, that’s one we can all chuckle about now. Man o man, who knew he’d turn out to be such a lying, warmongering, murdering torturer! So funny how things come out in the end, huh?

But ya gotta give right when it comes to the bucks. Sure there’s the billions spent in Iraq, and the billions gone missin’ on W’s watch, the millions wasted on the embassy in Baghdad, yadda yadda. But the CEOs of our fine American corporations are earning up to ten times what they were before this administration got into office, so it’s not all bad news. Some people are doing great, no doubt about it. It’s just too bad you aren’t one of them.

But all in all, I’m sure you don’t regret your enthusiasm for lil’ George. Yeah, yeah, so he didn’t bring dignity back to Washington, his buffoonery is legendary in a world that no longer respects our country, his ignorance is only matched by his inability to speak coherently, our country is locked in a quagmire in Iraq that has led to increased volatility in the ME, we have thousands of dead troops and over a million Iraqi casualties, our military is broken, our country is flat broke and more polluted than ever, our manufacturing sector is all but gone, and we are inundated with products from other countries that are cheap due to slave labour and child labour – and the fact that those products are poisoning our kids and killing our pets is of no concern to the administration that promised to Keep America Safe.

So, like I said, I just wanted to check in with all of you, and ask the big question with respect to that Bush guy who you loved so much, you voted for him not once, but twice: How’s that working out for you?

Just wonderin’ …

It is oft said that recognizing a problem is the first step in overcoming it.

Apparently, I have a problem – and although I still don’t see it as such myself, I am constantly reminded by others that it exists. I don’t know if that counts, but I am willing to explore the possibility.

My problem seems to be that even though I am a female, I don’t support Hillary Clinton.

I have been told, countless times, that this means I am (a) a self-loathing woman, who is (b) jealous of Hillary’s many accomplishments, that I (c) don’t appreciate the fact that if Hillary loses the nomination there will never be another female candidate for the presidency, (d) I am a blatant sexist, who (e) just generally doesn’t understand that independent, free-thinking feminists should dutifully dispense with things like independent free thought and simply put their support behind the woman candidate whether they think she is qualified or not.

I have tried to reconcile this kind of mindset with my own sense of independence, and try as I might, I cannot seem to adapt to the notion that if I base my support for a candidate on gender alone I am somehow advancing the cause of women’s rights or equality between the sexes, or engaging in some kind of convoluted self-preservation of not only my own womanhood, but everyone else’s.

I admit that if Hillary was championing women’s rights while her Democratic opponent, Obama, was advocating an overturn of Roe v Wade or the 19th Amendment, I might have a different view of things. But she’s not, and he’s not – so where gender comes into play here is, alas, beyond my comprehension.

But to hear the Hillary camp tell the tale, truly liberated women are those willing to abandon their independent thoughts and support “one of their own” in a nomination process that, according to them, isn’t a matter of candidate v candidate, but a matter of boy v girl.

The true feminist – again from the “Bible According to the HRC Camp” – is she who steadfastly resists the temptation to look behind the rhetoric, scrutinize policies, investigate positions with a view to determining whether they agree or disagree, and simply puts her full support behind the candidate who possesses the same genitalia.

I guess I’m just confused. I’d always thought that being an equal-and-independent woman meant determining my own course, and putting my support behind a candidate based on my own criteria, and not someone else’s – male or female. But now I am constantly berated for doing just that.

Apparently, I am not supposed to blindly follow the dictates of males – but I am supposed to blindly follow the dictates of fellow females, and do so without question.

I guess I’m just not getting it. I’m not getting the idea that although I am independent, I am duty-bound to depend on the opinion of others who happen to share my gender. I’m not getting the concept that I have to ignore my own beliefs and unquestioningly adhere to the beliefs of a handful of fellow women. I’m not getting the notion that if I put aside my own thoughts and embrace the thought processes of others I am thereby liberated.

Like I said, I have a problem – or so I am told. I just can’t shake this crazy idea that I, as a woman, am free to support whomever I deem to be the most qualified candidate, regardless of their gender. And I just can’t fathom how that sensibility equates to an admission that I am under the yoke of male supremacy.

In any event, despite my problem, I still support Barack Obama. I guess that makes me, in some quarters, a stiff-necked, obstinate woman, one who will obviously never learn her place as determined by the so-called feminists who have taken it upon themselves to dictate exactly what my place should be.

Perhaps it is a testament to the Hillary campaign and its supporters that while their so-called reasoning stands on shakier ground with every passing day, it continues – albeit tenuously – to survive at all.

They persist in adapting to new goalpost positions that literally change by the hour, have developed some kind of new math by which losses are calculated as gains, and continue to steadfastly ignore the inconvenient truths that spell defeat in letters so large they can be seen from the nearest asteroid belt.

Although there are many to choose from, my favorite line from the Hillary camp is that she would fare better than Obama in going up against the inevitable GOP slime machine in the general election because she has already been fully vetted, and there is nothing new the Republicans could dredge up against her.

This line of thinking completely ignores the fact that the GOP have been preparing themselves for a Hillary candidacy for years, and have had more than ample time to perfect their mode of attacks – notwithstanding the fact that they have never allowed the truth to stand in the way of their swiftboating operations in any event. Whatever isn’t there will be craftily created, and what is there – no matter how distantly in the past it occurred – will be resurrected with a vengeance.

As for there being nothing new that Ms. Fully-Vetted can be hammered with, one need only look to Hillary’s behavior over the past few months.

The lady herself has declared that McCain is a more qualified candidate for POTUS than her fellow Democrat, her campaign is an exercise in fiscal irresponsibility and a complete inability to plan ahead for unforeseen events (like Obama taking the lead, or Super Tuesday not being a wrap-up of her inevitable nomination), and one can only – sadly and horrifyingly – imagine what hay would be made of her blatant lies about her wartime Bosnian sniper-fire experience by a party running a former POW as its nominee.

To hear the Hillary supporters tell it, while an Obama nomination would unleash the wild dogs of contrivance, innuendo, and out-and-out lies about every statement he has ever made, every action he has ever taken, every experience he has ever had, these same dogs would, if faced with Hillary as a nominee, simply slink off to their cages, tails tucked firmly between their legs, whimpering that there was nothing to be said against her.

But there is a far more disturbing aspect to what some of the Hillary campers cling to in their darkest hour, and that is the idea that the super-delegates will – and should – overturn the will of the people in order to install their candidate-of-choice as the nominee.

I have seen the SDs variously described by some Hillary supporters as the grown-ups who will step in to save the ignorant Democratic voters from themselves, the level-headed adults who will not allow “childish enthusiasm” for Obama to prevail, a group of real powers-that-be that will swiftly move into the position of omnipotent deciders ready to determine the course of the Democratic Party regardless of the will of the majority of its constituents.

What is truly abhorrent about this stance is the deja-vu-all-over-again memory of another group of “deciders” – namely the Supreme Court – who once determined that a few adults (themselves) should step into the fray and “save” an immature and ignorant nation from elevating the “wrong” person to the presidency. I think we all know how that turned out.

And yet this same kind of complete disposal of the democratic process is now an avenue that some Hillary campers wholeheartedly embrace if it means having their candidate installed as the nominee – the same end justifies the means argument they eschewed a scant few years ago when it resulted in a G.W. Bush presidency.

What is truly puzzling about this concept that the super-delegates will ignore the will of the people in order to anoint Hillary is the lack of proffering any concrete motivation for their doing so.

Obama has undeniably caused a surge in new registrants for the Party, and his ability to raise funds among the populace is becoming the stuff of legend. And yet there has been no explanation from the Hill supporters as to why the SDs would ignore those incredibly desirable abilities in order to ensure Hill’s nomination – not to mention that it would for many SDs, should they choose to ignore the will of their own constituents, be at the cost of their own careers as they face re-election in future.

In addition, there is the never-ending whining from some in the Hillary camp that sexism is to blame for their candidate’s inability to secure the nomination, a factor which – according to them – is all-pervasive and clouds the more reasoned perception of the voters-at-large. I have yet to hear any explanation as to how this insidious sexism would somehow be absent among the SDs, who they are now counting on to “save” their candidate from the chopping-block.

Perhaps, like so many other aspects of the “reasoning” of Hillary supporters, this too is of no consequence in the end-game, where charges of blatant sexism will be dropped as is convenient, along with every other excuse for their candidate’s inability to garner the votes that were somehow not forthcoming but still rightfully hers.

This primary process has been fraught with unexpected victories along with unforeseen defeats. It has turned Democrat against Democrat, and has led to anger among the faithful that used to be reserved for those on the other side of the aisle.

But what is truly tragic is seeing the same kind of rhetoric that was once solely owned by the Republicans being used by so-called Democrats against their fellow party members: You’re either with Hillary or against Hillary – and if you are against her, we, her supporters, will take the entire party, and the democratic process, down without hesitation rather than accept defeat.

It is said that there are none so blind as those who will not see. In the present circumstances, I would go a step further to say that there are none so sightless as those obstinate enough to pluck their own eyes out, in a vain attempt to prove that their ignorant vision should be blindly accepted by those who see the more-than-obvious truth in all of its undeniable clarity.

Being a regular person and a patriotic American, I admit that I usually don’t watch politics on TV or elsewhere.

As luck would have it (or, more probly, the Good Lord), I had just finished my last romance novel and left with nuthin’ to do, I wound up turning on the show you had last nite – and I was delightedly surprised at this debate thing you was airin’.

Finally, your boys asked the questions that folks like myself want answers to, no ifs ands or butts.

First off, I been wonderin’ about that loophole flag pin thing for a while now, and damn if that wasn’t one of your most important questions to ask!

Real Americans like myself understand that people who love this country wear those loophole flag pins all the time – why I’ll betcha that Cheney, Rumsfeld and Rice had ‘em proudly displayed the whole time they was at those torturin’ meetings discussing how we don’t torture anybody.

I did wonder why the people askin’ the questions wasn’t wearing any theyselves, or Hillry neither – but I guess they just didn’t want to embarrass that Brack Hussein fella by making it obvious that he wasn’t sporting one like he should.

I was especial thrilled that you asked about peoples reverends and there opinions, because this is a topic that is dear to my heart. Everybodys been saying that this Revenend Right fella was the first one to blame America after 9-11, just ignorin’ the fact that it was real Christians like Falwell and Robertson who blamed Americans first long before this Right guy said a word. I’m glad the record is finally being set straight on that – all though you didn’t mention it neither, but I got your drift. I hate it when people try to steel someone elses credit for stuff.

Not havin’ seen to much of Hilry or the Hussein fella to date, I was taken a back by their presentations of themselves. Seems to me (and no, I am not a professional puntid or any such!) that he looked annoyed that you was asking such good questions, and she looked as happy as a pig-in-you-know-what being as she can’t afford professional-made commercials and was finally getting’ her say-so in for free.

But truth be told, you did the Democrats a favor they won’t soon be fogettin’. The number one reason why people like me vote Republican every time is because those Democrats wanna talk over our heads with subjects like the economy, and the deficit (whatever that is!) and other like stuff that no one wants to hear about. The idea that you made them discuss the real issues facing us today was just what the doctor ordered – and if I could afford to talk to a doctor, I’m sure he’d agree.

Needless to say (but you know me, I’ll say it anyways!), I look forward to your next one of these shows and hope you will take some suggestions for questions to be asked, because I got some good ones – like what sign these people are, and there favrite color, and weather they are cat-people or dog-people and what breed and why.

Regular people like me want to know the answers to stuff like this, and I hope you won’t disappoint us by askin’ any more stuff about Iraq, or the economy, or that other nonsense that politicians want to say when nobodys listening.

So thanks again for lookin’ out for the folks that don’t give a hoot who gets presidented next, so long as good shows like yours get put on the TV on a regular basis.

Yours Truly from an admirable fan of fine programin’ like yours …
Mrs. John Q. Citisen

P.S. If their could be grand prizes (and maybe a constellation prize for
that loser gal), plus music from a "house band" during your next show, I think you'd get a Emmy like you deserve!

How many times have we all said, especially over the last seven-plus years: “If you’re not pissed-off, you’re not paying attention.”

So one can only wonder at the Clinton camp’s response when Barack Obama spoke to the fact that those who have been paying attention are pissed-off – and rightfully so.

Senator Clinton’s immediate reaction was not only to feign outrage that Obama had actually acknowledged the presence of the elephant in the room, but to go the further step of pretending that the elephant doesn’t even exist.

“That hasn’t been my experience,” she said of her travels through Pennsylvania. Hillary only sees happy, optimistic people who are willing to roll-up-their-sleeves – as though they have been lazily lounging in front of the afternoon soaps while their jobs disappeared – the inference being that people whose lives have been decimated by outsourcing, unfair trade deals, and government policies that leave working-class citizens in the dust while catering to the already-wealthy and the bottom-lines of corporations are too stupid to do anything but smile mindlessly in the midst of their plight.

Unfortunately for Hillary (as though she actually needed any more misfortune in her losing bid for the nomination), the people of Pennsylvania – along with people of every county, every state, every city, every small town – have been staring that elephant in the face for years, and are tired of hearing that it isn't there.

After all, they have been told by the absolute masters of denial – the Bush administration and the Republican party – that the economy is healthy, that unemployment is just a measure of the laziness of those who don’t want to work, that well-paying jobs are plentiful for those willing to slither off the welfare couch and snap them up, that the billions being wasted on an unwinnable war in Iraq have no impact on our economy and its growth, that everything is fine-and-dandy and that big, fat elephant in the room is only a figment of the imagination of those who are actively looking for something to bellyache about.

After years of the populace crying out for the truth, the man who actually speaks it is now being vilified by those whose who see the last chance of survival of their already-defeated candidate in a declaration that ignoring the truth is in the country’s best interest, that encouraging the silence of the downtrodden is an honorable means to an end, that ignoring the elephant – one that has been sucking the life’s blood out of American citizens for decades – is just the kind of happy-dappy rhetoric that will put Hillary in the White House at last.

What the Hillary campaign has, along with its surrogates and supporters, refused to accept is that the populace that has lived with that elephant for far too long realize that the first step in ridding ourselves of its presence is the blatant, unvarnished, unapologetic acknowledgment that it exists.

The sheer brilliance, and down-to-earth humanity, of Obama’s most recent remarks is the audacity to encourage the idea that if we all pull together, the immediate removal of the elephant is not only possible, but probable.

And that is music to the ears of those who have consistently been told via right-wing talking points – whether delivered by the GOP or by Hillary Clinton – that the true pursuit of happiness lies not in acknowledging the elephant, but in going about attempting to clean our collective house while pretending that the larger-than-life animal, along with its inevitable and ever-growing pile of excrement, just isn't there.

Sometimes I wish I just didn’t know.

I think about how uncomplicated life would be if I accepted the MSM version of current events, instead of seeking out the real news via more reliable sources. I ponder how I could go about my daily routine with ease if I simply took the word of well-coiffed, corporate-owned shills without questioning their credentials or their morals, instead of searching for more disturbing fare from the vanishing breed of journalists whose only motivation is reporting the truth.

Sometimes I wish I just didn’t know that my government is being run by warmongering profiteers, who view taxpayers’ dollars as a source of personal wealth to be deftly transferred from the pockets of hard-working Americans into the bank accounts of themselves, their families, and their friends.

Sometimes I wish I could just pretend that these are fine, moral people who just happened, through sheer coincidence, to have profited from the deaths of so many, along with the death of the American Dream.

Sometimes I wish I just didn’t know that the current administration is a collection of thieves, incompetents and liars, the kind of people who hide behind phrases like executive privilege and for reasons of national security while destroying the Constitution and ignoring the rule of law.

Sometimes I wish I could just be one of the mindless sheep who convince themselves, on an ongoing basis, that there have been no freedoms lost nor laws broken – and if there have been, it is of no consequence.

Sometimes I wish I just didn’t know that people on the other side of the world are dying not to promote or sustain democracy, but to fill the coffers of the greedy and fulfill the sick aspirations of those who see the dead in terms of meaningless numbers, and the resources of the oppressed as something they are entitled to exploit for the sake of their bottom line.

Sometimes I wish I could truly believe there is a positive outcome to the ongoing bloodbath, and all of the destruction, the violence, the inhumanity will somehow transform itself into a happy ending for all concerned.

Sometimes I wish I just didn’t know that the only power being promoted and embraced by the present government is the power of the Almighty Dollar, and its only goal the pursuit of ensuring that every last dollar be wrested from the hands of the honest and hard-working in order to be handed over to the already wealthy.

Sometimes I wish I could ignore the plight of my fellow citizens, and just tell myself that survival of the fittest, however immoral the unleveling of the playing field, is what America is all about.

Sometimes I wish I just didn’t know that my nation, once the Cradle of Democracy, has become a breeding-ground of torturers, that the Home of the Brave is now the refuge of cowards who sit silent in the face of the complete destruction of those perceived to be weak, that the country built on the principle of Freedom of Religion is populated with so-called Christians who preach intolerance, hatred, violence, and the all-important ethic of visiting death and destruction on those who worship differently.

Honestly, and with all sincerity, there are times when I wish I just didn’t know – times when I dream about how peacefully I could sleep if I didn’t have nightmares about my own country and what it has become; times when I wish I could look at my children and not imagine how it would feel if they were imprisoned and tortured, times when I truly desire to see an American flag waving and not wonder what atrocities are being committed in its name, times when I want to be free of the knowledge that everything my country once stood for has been dragged through the mud by corporate greed and those who enable it, by Bible-spouting propagandists who prey on those of true faith, by alleged patriots who supplant love-of-country with lapel-pins and bumper-stickers, and by sadists who hide behind phrases like Keeping America Safe in order to enjoy the excruciating pain of those they know to be innocent.

Like many Americans, sometimes I wish I just didn’t know. But to deliberately not know is to be complicit, to be part of the deafening silence that allows such things to happen.

To choose not to know is, in and of itself, to choose not to care. And if we choose not to care, all is truly and irretrievably lost.

And still it continues: the OPs and reply posts insisting that Hillary Clinton is losing her bid to become the Democratic nominee due to blatant sexism.

According to some here, this type of woman-hating runs rampant not only within the party, but among liberals and progressives everywhere.

It does not matter a whit that Hillary managed – apparently despite this never-ending, oh-so-obvious sexism – to come within a hair’s breadth of the nomination. Nor does it matter that when a field of more-than-capable candidates was narrowed down to two, she, the only woman in the field, was one of the two left standing.

Perhaps the argument we are meant to accept is that the Boys in Charge simply allowed her to get where she is in order to lull female voters into a false sense of equality – or, even more dastardly, permitted Hill to get this far simply for the maniacal pleasure of pulling the rug out from under her at the last possible moment, as a means of reminding all women that they should remain aware of their secondary place in society, as well as the political arena.

These posters decry the unfairness that women face as a result of sexism and yet, for many of them, the obvious response to such real or imagined unfairness is to threaten to not vote come November, and/or leave the party entirely if Hillary is not the nominee.

In other words, outraged at the idea that women are victims, they voluntarily choose to assume the very role they insist has been forced upon them by an insensitive, uncaring world.

What is truly astounding about this victim-of-sexism meme being spouted ad nauseam by Hillary supporters is their obvious disconnect from the factual realities of the life and times of their candidate-of-choice.

Can anyone doubt that Hillary, now sixty years of age, has often dealt with real sexism in the workplace throughout her life? Can anyone doubt that being an exceptionally attractive woman, she has experienced actual sexual harassment over her long career?

And yet she is where she is – a candidate for the presidency of the United States – undoubtedly as a direct result of the fact that she didn’t give in, didn’t give up, and didn’t allow such obstacles to impede her from pursuing her ultimate goal.

While the Hillary-is-being-shut-out-because-she’s-a-female crowd actually brag about removing themselves from the electoral process due to the injustices allegedly done to their candidate, they choose to ignore the fact that this woman would not be in this race were it not for her determination to not be shut out of the process under any circumstances.

One can only wonder where Hillary would be today had she adopted the attitude that many of her supporters here are actively advocating: quit and go home, refuse to stand your ground as an equal participant in the voting process, slink off like a hard-done-by female as a means of proving you’re not exactly that.

Hillary’s campaign has lost support; that is undeniable. It is due to a myriad of factors, from contradictory statements re Michigan and Florida, to holding out McCain as a more viable candidate than a fellow Democrat, to attempting to move the goalposts every time she falls behind, to the Bosnia lie that caused serious questioning of her credibility on any number of issues.

You will note that none of the above have anything to do with her gender. And yet, according to some posters here, these setbacks have everything to do with sexism – as though this same behavior by a male candidate would have been accepted without question.

I am not, nor have I ever been, a supporter of Hillary Clinton’s candidacy for the presidency – although it goes without saying that were she ultimately chosen as the Democratic nominee, I would vote for her without hesitation.

But the idea that some Hillary supporters will not vote for the Democratic nominee unless it is a woman candidate is not only abhorrent to members of the party, I would venture to say it would be abhorrent to Hillary Clinton herself – because if that kind of mindset was something she approved of as a legitimate recourse, she wouldn't be where she is right now. She'd be home baking cookies, having given up her rightful place in the political system the first time she was referred to as being just a girl.

To: Hillary Clinton Campaign Headquarters
From: Acme Goalpost Movers Inc.
Attn: Accounts Payable Department

Dear Sir/Madam:

As you undoubtedly are aware, we are still awaiting payment in full on the last nine invoices we have submitted:

(1) Moving of goalposts from Super Tuesday Blowout to Brokered Convention resolution

(2) Moving of goalposts in Michigan and Florida. (Contract add-on – not part of original contract; work done on expedited basis)

(3) Moving of goalposts from delegate votes to popular votes

(4) Moving of goalposts from popular votes to electoral college votes (Contract add-on: includes costs incurred in supplying virtual goalposts in order to capture votes not actually in play)

(5) Moving of goalposts from pledged delegates voting as-per-constituents to voting as-per-desire-of-losing-candidate

(6) Moving of (hypothetical) goalposts to reflect (hypothetical) GOP-style winner-take-all primary scenario

(7) Moving of goalposts from truthful-statements-paramount-in-campaign-speeches strategy to mis-speaking about Bosnia sniper-fire due-to-lack-of-sleep excuse-making strategy (Contract add-on: Necessity to move goalposts ahead of publicity shit-storm)

(8) Moving of goalposts from clean, civil, high-road campaign to kitchen-sink campaign (Contract add-on: cleaning up garbage after same)

(9) Moving of goalposts from super-delegates voting-their-conscience scenario to stab-me-in-the-back-Judas scenario

In view of the above work having already been carried out on behalf of your campaign, our company is now out-of-pocket and would appreciate being paid-in-full forthwith.

We are a small company, and do not have the financial wherewithal to continue our efforts at the present rate without payment. Your to-date history with our business indicates that more goalpost moving will be required in the immediate future. However, we will no longer be in a position to continue our efforts on your behalf without a prompt settlement of outstanding invoices.

Please be advised that we rely on long-term contracts such as yours to stay in business. Other than your campaign, our only other large contract has been with the present Administration, which has required the changing of goalposts (re: Victory in Iraq) on an almost daily basis - an arrangement which is now apparently coming to an end.

We have attempted to contact you on numerous occasions via email, registered mail, fax, and phone messages concerning your failure to compensate us for our services for several months.

As a final and truly desperate measure, our collections department will now be attempting to phone you at 3:00 a.m. We sincerely hope you will answer the phone.

Thank you for your anticipated cooperation in this regard,
Acme Goalpost Movers Inc.

After reading the many posts about how Obama is just “a bunch of pretty words” with no substance, and how his supporters continually bash Hillary because they simply can’t come up with anything positive to say about Obama, I thought I’d conduct a little survey of my own to see how that theory holds up.

Guess what, people? The Hill supporters are right. The question posed was: “Why do you support warm-and-fuzzy-speeches Obama when Hillary is so obviously the superior candidate?”

Here’s a random sampling of those I spoke to:

“Obama is talking about pulling the troops out of Iraq, ways to provide health insurance for more citizens, making college more affordable – gee, the list goes on and on. I’d have to say it’s his non-position on these issues that finally won me over.”

“I’m a little disappointed that despite being an exceptionally articulate speaker, he couldn’t come up with a really riveting tale about running for cover in the midst of sniper-fire in Bosnia. But that aside, he’s got my vote.”

“I think it’s his non-stance on the fact that the war in Iraq is illegal, immoral, and should never have been started in the first place. I appreciate his total silence on the topic.”

“His incredible ability to not encourage hope and optimism, along with not taking issue with the highly successful status-quo way of running the government, was a real eye-opener. This is just the kind of non-committal fence-sitter we need in the White House.”

“For me, it was the way he refused to take a stand when Reverend Wright was being vilified. I don’t know about the rest of the country, but that kind of ducking an issue spoke volumes about his inability to take a strong position in the face of opposition. The minute he chose to slink off with his tail between his legs rather than address the controversy, I knew we had a timid, weak-kneed winner on our hands!”

“More than anything else, it’s his stubborn refusal to point to the disastrous situation we find ourselves in as the obvious result of eight years of Bush’s failed policies – all of the times he has done so notwithstanding.”

“Not being willing to answer questions from regular American voters – yeah, that’s what did it for me. The way he stays aloof, adamantly refuses to get out there and talk to regular folk about their worries and woes – well, I’m not ashamed to admit it. This is just the kind of lack of substance I’ve been prayin’ for.”

“Well, truth be told, Obama’s got so much not going for him. Ahead in every poll, more delegates, more votes, more momentum. It’s these kind of negatives that drew me in, hook, line and sinker.”

“I’m almost ashamed to admit it, but I keep hearing substance in his speeches. As much as I try to ignore it, his policy positions keep comin’ at me, plain and simple. I suppose I’m just supporting him because I’m too stupid to hear what he’s not saying.”

“I just think the best way to solve our country’s problems right now is to elect the candidate with absolutely no ideas, no substance, and no ability to lead a nation. And bashing Hillary is much more important to me than getting a job, being able to afford to educate my children, and just generally having the better life she keeps promising.”

“I’m completely disgusted with what our country has become, thanks to the Republicans. That’s why millions of people who think the way I do are going to vote for the most unelectable Democrat this November. We’re in it to lose.”

There you have it, folks. When the majority of voters believe that a no-substance, pretty-words talker like Barack Obama is a better bet than the candidate who is losing by every possible measure, we’re in for a world of hurt – like winning the presidency in November.

I just hope you’re all happy now.