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NanceGreggs's Journal: Nance Rants
Posted by NanceGreggs in General Discussion: Presidential (Through Nov 2009)
Sun Dec 03rd 2006, 09:47 PM

TO: Mr. Dan Diaz
Republican National Committee
Dear Danny,

I hope you’ll excuse the familiarity inherent in addressing you by your first name, but after reading a recent quote of yours, I feel we are truly kindred spirits.

I, like yourself, believe that laughter is the best medicine, and your brilliant one-liner was proof that you GOPers actually do have a sense of humor, something that has gone unrecognized by we Democrats for years – until now!

I am referring, of course, to your statement: “Republicans over the next two years will focus on holding Democrats accountable, and recommitting to reforms that deliver for hardworking families,” which appeared in an article by written by Associated Press writer Will Lester.

Assuming you write your own material, I have to congratulate you on what is already circulating the internet as the ultimate punchline!

After years of spending the nation’s money like a drunken sailor on shore-leave, running up the country’s debt like a thief with a wallet-full of stolen credit cards, conveniently ‘losing’ billions of taxpayers’ dollars in Iraq, handing millions over to GOP-friendly contractors like Halliburton with a wink-and-a-nod, the Republicans want accountability! I’ve got to hand it to you, Danny – I honestly thought I would literally die of laughter!

Who knew you guys were so damned funny? Rubber-stamping every insane whim of Georgie, looking the other way on his signing statements and blatant disregard for the Constitution – just mentioning the word “accountability” in connection with your party is enough to make the most dour of Democrats break into an uncontrollable attack of the giggles!

And as they say in the biz, “But wait – there’s more!” As though that accountability line wasn’t killer enough, you actually followed it up with “recommitting to reforms that deliver for hardworking families”. I mean, when it comes to the time-honored one-two comedy punch, that was absolutely classic; irony and a little dig at your own – wonderfully done!

I’m sure your party members’ hard-working constituents are clamouring for more of that “commitment” on their behalf – like the Bankruptcy Bill, the big payoffs to the pharmaceutical industry, not to mention those secret meetings Cheney had with Ken Lay and the rest of the energy barons that have the average citizen wondering if they can afford to heat their homes, or fill up the gas tank in order to get to work – those who still have work, that is! Yes, siree -- those reforms really did deliver, didn't they? Man, you are just a laugh riot!

Honestly, though, you have to admit that after the disaster you’ve made of the country, it’s not like you don’t owe the American people a couple of yuks – but after having your rear-ends handed to you in November, I have to admire your ability to joke it up like this at your own expense. That shows a lot of class, man.

And who knows where this kind of thing might lead. Now that we Democrats appreciate the fact that you guys do have a sense of humor after all, maybe we won’t perceive you arrogant, self-centered, money-grubbing, corrupt bribe-takers in quite the same way as we have in the past.

Well, I’ve gotta run. I just wanted to thank you for bringing so much laughter into so many lives!

Thanks a million,
Nancy Greggs
(Still-Laughing Democrat)
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