Recipes include …

Basic Outsauce

Gather necessary ingredients.
Ship to cheap labor market.
Wait four-to-six weeks for prepared sauce to arrive in mail.
Return to sender – out-of-work folks can’t afford shipping and handling.

Outsauce with a Twist

Find one (1) covert CIA agent.
“Out” her when her husband starts “talking saucy”.

We-Don’t-Torture Turkey Surprise

Torture one turkey (farm fresh or plastic) to death.
Roast – as – slowly – as – possible.
Regale dinner guests with tales about what info the turkey gave up before expiring – which, of course, can't be disclosed, but kept America safe


Cheney Chicken

Shoot chicken in face.
Wait for chicken to apologize.
Grunt-like-a-pig while devouring.


Halliburton Halibut

Sautee rotten fish in fetid water.
Charge your dinner guests $2,500 per serving to cover “costs”.
Serve on jewel-encrusted “KBR” plates.

Gitmo Gumbo

Rack-of-lamb with assorted vegetables.
Remove from rack before serving – insist lamb died of “natural causes”.
Recipe serves 15 to 20 non-persons.

Pro-Life Omelette

Fry thousands of eggs.
Add salt, pepper, mushrooms and onions.
Serve while discussing how you would have supported social programs to care for all of those baby chicks, if only they’d been allowed to live to maturity.


Bipartisanship Buffet

Beat-and-batter one newly-elected president.
Place on skewer.
Season-to-taste with bitter herbs.

Fox-News Frappe

Toss mixed nuts, fear and paranoia into blender.
Whip into a frenzy.
Recipe serves (1,000,000+) idiots and/or (0) thinkers.

Christian Values Salad

Assorted fresh-and-impressionable greens.
Discard all parts thereof that appear to be gay, lesbian, pro-choice, pro-science, pro-freedom-of-thought, rational, and/or intelligent
Say Grace before swallowing consuming

Tax-and-Spend Tea

Run up billions on credit card to purchase ingredients.
Combine ignorance and forgetfulness with healthy dollops of revisionist history.
Position mis-spelled place cards at each guest’s table setting, in hopes no one will notice you don’t know what the fuck it is you’re steaming about.


NeoCon Newburg

Ingredients: one (1) fresh lobster
Problem: can’t afford lobster
Solution: find lobster that promises to pay for itself

MSM Appetizer

Assemble “virtual” food on platter
“Dress” with hair-dos, designer wardrobe, industrial-strength cosmetics and LOTS of vinegar
Serve with arrogance - pass-off as substantial and satisfying fare.

Palin Half-Baked Alaska

Combine brainlessness, scandal, hypocrisy.
Add assorted clueless quotes.
Bake in oven until over-done.

BushCo Brunch

Strategerize food preparation.
Don’t misunderestimate number of guests.
Proceed to put food on your family.