NavyMom's Journal

I began to volunteer for domestic abuse hotline for this reason, here's a copy of my letter to Tim:

Tim Pawlenty
Office of the Governor
130 State Capitol
75 Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.
St. Paul, MN 55155

Regarding your remarks at CPAC along with your comments on Meet the Press domestic abuse is not a joke, just ask the victims along with their families. Let me tell you a little “joke” about Mary.

Mary husband would beat her for ANY reason, maybe his dinner was not placed at the correct hands on the table, or she looked into his eyes, maybe the kids were loud, or her alarm clock would wake him instead of her with his breakfast in bed EVERY MORNING.

First he would hit her where no one could see you know on her back, her breast or in he would gut punch her so hard we would think she was having “women” problems that even her father began to notice how often she used this excuse. You see, abused women ALWAYS make excuses for the abusers see we just don’t understand how much pressure they were under or what the abused did to cause them to be hit.

We would talk to her till we were blue in the face, telling her we would help her get on her feet, that we would babysit the kids or pay for her to attend school in order to be independent even offering free housing. She would periodically leave him but would be back within three weeks, he would be in the “I’m sorry” mode for maybe two weeks top before the beatings would began, over the years he would hit her in the face knowing he had her very afraid of him that she would not leave him under her own steam.

Well after eight years she left him for good, the final straw was when he threw her youngest child across the room because he was crying, he had an ear infection, nothing she did would stop him because he wouldn’t let her get his medicine until she feed him his dinner. When she left to get the medicine she never went back as she took her kids with her, which he always bade her as he would NOT keep his own kids, she called her father who picked her up at the pharmacy.

To the surprise of many she did not go back to her abuser instead accepting all the help we offered her, she went to school, allowed her family to pay for her housing, had a rigid schedule for the boys, used a system to always let someone know her location at all time even to the point of having a body guard on the university campus.

For fifteen (15) months she lived her life but afraid he would come back to hurt her, knowing he would never let her go but at that time he did not know where she lived but when he found out he began to stalk her.

In June 2006 he went to her house, broke in the back door then made his way upstairs where she was taking a shower prior to her youngest son birthday party then shot her in the shower. After he shot her he then threw her from a second story window, he then walked calmly downstairs told his sons he had a “surprise” for them he took them to where their mother was naked on the ground trying to get to her feet. Told the kids to say goodbye to their mother then right in front of their kids he put three bullets in her upper back in the chest area then four in her head saying she belonged to him.

Unfortunately, Mary story is not singular this happens to millions of women and kids each day so Tim Pawlenty making a joke essentially gives the abusers cover for their actions because hey it is a joke, right. Maybe Tim you should volunteer at a domestic abuse shelter or hotline or just talk to the victims, maybe the police that investigates these crimes or the judges of these cases.

Each of them will tell you domestic violence is not a joke.

For all the victims that no longer have a voice.