2007 is moving at a rapid clip to become 2008 and with the passing of days the heart of the Republican God Machine will turn to the upcoming presidential election.
Falwell, Pat Robertson and all the rest of the Religious Right leadership, along with the lesser minions and wee beasties, are already saddling up: soon it will be time to move the Herd.
Karl Rove, the largest of the wee beasties, in recent speeches, made it clear that the campaign theme for the upcoming election will be the same one used in the last several elections: Fear and Ignorance. This combination works exceedingly well with most of the Herd because it works so well within the symbiotic relationship of that exists between the Religious Right and the leadership of the Republican Party. The Republican leadership provides the Fear, while the Righteous contribute an inexhaustible supply of Ignorance.
The Righteous are perturbed this season, though. Jesus hasn't anointed anyone as the Great Leader and the end is drawing nigh. Who shall step forward to receive the endorsement of the God Party? Rudy G hardly fits the bill, what with his multiple marriages and shaky stands on things precious to the Godly. The religious extremists on our Religious Right haven't forgiven John McCain for point out that they are, indeed, religious extremists. Sam Brownback suits them to a 'T' but there's the "Who did you say" factor, and of course the fact that Sam Brownback and his ilk ARE what is wrong with Kansas. And of course, Mitt Romney is a MORMON and who knows WHAT they believe. (As an aside, I refuse to even listen to Mitt Romney until he declares whether he is a catcher's mitt or a first baseman's mitt.)
But, once the Righteous are told what to do, they will do it. Ignorance, after all, is good and God evidently loves ignorant people, as He made so many of them. Speaking of the ignorance of the Herd, the Righteous do make homosexuality a very big issue, do they not? It is a major plank in their platform.
Yet it is with a certain irony that the Republican leadership mines that particular political vein, with rumors rife of a “gay mafia” in the Executive Branch.This apparent inconsistency also begs the question of just whom the gay male prostitute visited over 100 times after hours in the White House? The mind boggles at the possibilities.
The name of Scooter Libby yields disturbing images. Karl Rove is known to close associates as Turd Blossom, which gives rise to even more unpleasant considerations. Rove is a strange bird, is he not? He appears sexless and bland in that way of former Nazis and sexual predators do when they are finally put on trial.
Rove looks like a dour Ronald McDonald without the benefit of his clown costume. Interestingly enough, and completely as an aside, I once dated a clown. She was a very attractive woman but she would only make love in her clown makeup and wig and while wearing silly knee high sox and those really big shoes. Still, I miss her sometimes; she was loads of fun. We laughed a lot.
But I digress. Moving the Righteous Herd. It’s easy work, if you know how to do it. For the most part, the Herd is made up of individuals whose prime motivation is being kept Safe. Safe from what, you might ask? Well, safe from Bin Laden, Sadam Hussein, gay marriage, abortion and liberals, but not necessarily in that order.They also want to be kept safe from access to health care, decent wages, safe working conditions and Social Security. (And, sadly, I’m not making that up. Misanthropic satire is so very difficult to pull off in the times in which we live.)
Once you get the Herd moving, all you have to do is nudge them in the right direction. The one in charge of this operation is called the Ramrod. Wait a minute. Ramrod? What is it with all the sexual dual entendres in this administration? Bush. Dick. Scooter. Turd Blossom. Ramrod. Is there something deeply sick and twisted about the sexuality of the Religious Right?
It certainly is pleasant to think so. After all, if it weren’t for some sort of sexual perversion, sodomy for instance, most of these people would have no culture at all. Actually, sexual perversion between consenting adults is probably good for you. I have already admitted that I have a clown fetish and I’m a better man because of it.
The only reason I left Lulu Belle was that she came home unexpectedly once and caught me wearing some of her clown clothes. She said I wasn’t taking our relationship seriously.
So, anyway, the Herd is moving and going in the right direction. Now what?
The Ramrod gradually causes the Herd to pick up speed until they’re close to Election Day and then he stampedes them through the ballot boxes. Nine Eleven! Nine Eleven! The smoking gun will be a mushroom cloud! Nine Eleven! Weapons of mass destruction! Nine Eleven! A new Bin Laden Tape! Nine Eleven! God, Gays, Guns.!Keep them doggies rollin’, Rawhide, etc, etc, ad infinitum ad nauseum.
After they vote, the Herd is then allowed to slow and scatter and are then moderately free to meander through the security cameras of the Wal-Mart Nation until the next election cycle, assuming there is one.
So, what’s to be done? The Righteous are currently engaged in a relentless War on Knowledge, and they should be quite ecstatic in that ignorance is supposedly bliss. In any case, they seem happy.
I’ve talked to quite a few of them but my comments have had little or no effect. It is hard to convince a person that your arguments are not only factual but are also correct when he or she believes that you are Satan. It’s equally difficult to reason with someone when he or she believes that an Invisible Man In the Sky told Pat Robertson that a hurricane is God’s judgment on America because we are tolerant of homosexuality.
Reason just doesn’t stand a chance in such a case. It is like trying to reason with someone who believes that everyone else is a robot and that Elvis is alive and well and living on a spaceship, but he’s coming back one day. Such people have cartoon brains and are best left to their own devices.
Though it is a shame that they’re allowed to vote.
It is also worth noting that ignorant people in large groups may be quite dangerous.
I suppose that we could declare a War on Ignorance. That just doesn’t seem right somehow because there are too many wars, literal and figurative, these days.
I know, let’s form a coalition. That’s a good progressive thing to do. Well, presto, changeo, we did and we named it The Coalition for an Idiot Free America (
http://coalitionforanidiotfreeamerica.blog... /). But wait a minute, isn’t that sort of name-calling a bit hostile toward the other side? I mean it really is low.
It’s mean. But it’s accurate.
I like it.
It is also quite optimistic in that the word idiot is not necessarily a pejorative term. It could even be viewed as a symbol of hope for the future of the Righteous.
Consider this, there was a time when the actual psychological classification for people of very low IQ was, progressively, idiot, imbecile, and moron, with the idiot having the least intelligence and the moron having the highest intelligence of the three.
So, for a moment, share my dream. The Coalition For an Idiot Free America will educate anyone who comes, even the Righteous, and in educating them we will hasten the day when the Righteous no longer will be able to number a single idiot among them because, as if in the twinkling of an eye, they will all be changed.
With our help, our brethren and sisteren will have progressed until all of their idiots have become imbeciles, and some, dare I say it, some may even become morons! Hallelujah! Join the Coalition for an Idiot Free America today.
