Are you tired of those sissy-ass "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship:

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking
you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance
I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about
how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are
well again. I don't want whatever you have!

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of 4.

Remember... A good friend will help you move... a REALLY good friend will help you move the
body... (let me know if you ever need me to bring a shovel.)

Friendship is like peeing your pants, every one can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.