In the largest gathering of humankind since history has been recorded, an estimated 135 million individuals attended the Conservative-minded March on Washington otherwise known as 9/12. "We sure as Hell put those Muslims who attend the Hajj to shame." Said Buck Diktus, a self-proclaimed rancher and cattle-farmer from Butte, Montana.

Despite photographs which indicate that only 40,000 to 60,000 individuals at most attended, Conservative adviser and self-proclaimed photographic expert Ron Christie (pictured below)




stated that..."there were so many right-minded people in attendance that the digital images ran out of available pixels. this is an issue we Republicans have long-warned the Cable News Channels about, but to no avail since they are controlled by the Radical Left."

There were many vendors present at the rally; the busiest was the concession selling a brown shirt which was available in all sizes. Also doing a brisk business were the booksellers, a new book upon the scene entitled "My Struggle" was selling out. According to organizers, this tome was published posthumously - the author having mysteriously died in a great fire in 1945, although there were some reports of his living under an assumed identity in Brazil or Argentina.

Plans for a second march entitled "Night of the Crystal" were announced.