Latest Threads
Latest
Greatest Threads
Greatest
Lobby
Lobby
Journals
Journals
Search
Search
Options
Options
Help
Help
Login
Login
Home » Discuss » Journals » Plaid Adder » Read entry Donate to DU
Advertise Liberally! The Liberal Blog Advertising Network
Advertise on more than 70 progressive blogs!
Plaid Adder's Journal
Posted by Plaid Adder in General Discussion (1/22-2007 thru 12/14/2010)
Wed Aug 15th 2007, 10:30 PM
My first thought when I heard that Rove had resigned and was going back to Texas, was, "Damn, that's a long way to go to avoid a subpoena."

But then I reflected that so far, nobody important seemed to be responding to Congressional subpoenas even if they were still in DC. And then, as I wondered how you went about actually forcing people who believe they're above the law to turn up and testify, and reflected that the Department of Justice and the Attorney General's office were probably involved somehow, and reminded myself that the Attorney General was the guy whose criminal activities they're issuing the subpoenas over, I thought, "Well, let's see. Rove has rigged two elections, kept the ignorant and vicious moron he installed from self-destructing in public for the past six years (thereby allowing him time to destroy America's reputation and clout abroad as well as its domestic fabric at home), rotted the morals of every Republican member of Congress, completely banjaxed the media, and engineered a systematic and thorough corruption of the American justice system. Why shouldn't he resign? His work here is done!"

Seriously. Once you've destroyed the world, what do you do for an encore?

The other day we had to call in a plumber to clear out a bathtub drain that had started backing up. It came out in the course of our conversation that before he was a plumber, he managed a nightclub. Anyway, I forget the name of the club, which he claimed was at one time THE place to be because it was popular with athletes and celebrities. I asked him what the difference was between a nightclub that made it and a nightclub that didn't. How do you make your nightclub the "in" spot?

He had a quite detailed and very depressing answer. First of all, he said, your demographic is people between the ages of 21 and 30 with a lot of disposable income and no responsibilities. So, you don't hire anyone over 30. You hire a young, hip guy to be the general manager who's hooked into the scene. Soon as he turns 25, you get rid of him and hire a younger one. Hire only the best-looking men and women you can find to be wait staff and bartenders and again, before they hit 30, you fire them and hire younger ones. Everything has to look expensive so people feel rich just walking in there. And then, he said, we'd do things like...well, in theory the club opens at 9:00, but no matter how empty it is, you don't let anyone in until 11:00, so you get a line started outside your door of people waiting to get in. You rope off VIP tables and put signs on them saying "Reserved" even if nobody's actually reserved them. Stuff like that. It's all image. I don't know what you do for a living, he said, but human nature's basically the same everywhere.

Yes, human nature is basically the same everywhere. And like this ex-nightclub manager, Rove made his living by exploiting it. I always thought of him as a kind of virus attacking the vulnerabilities in our operating systems. Things like the fact that most people would rather look at an image than read text, or that they tend to believe what they want to hear, or that they respond more powerfully to fear than to almost any other emotion. Truly, naming Rove "Turd Blossom" was probably the most apt thing W. has ever done, for it was out of the shittiest aspects of our human natures that Rove spun his gold and wove his web. The more deeply into the mire he could drag everyone, the stronger his power became.

And yet, as I've often written before, the Bush presidency has revealed how limited that power ultimately was. Rove's bag of dirty tricks, impressive as it has proved to be, was extremely effective when it came to manipulating the broadcast media, the American electoral process, party politics, members of Congress, and so on. But none of Rove's puppets could actually succeed at the jobs into which they had slithered. That's the problem when you're working for the dark side; the best and the brightest somehow just don't send in their resumes. He had to work with the dreck that was drawn to him, and the results are obvious. Rove will be remembered as the 'architect,' the 'mastermind,' the 'genius' behind the most catastrophic presidency in the history of the United States. Well, I hope it makes his family proud, since he'll soon be spending more time with them.

Watching footage of the press conference, what struck me was the fact that in all this time, I don't think I have ever actually heard Rove's voice before. His face was familiar, but always as a still photo, a balding head with a moon face and a sealed and self-satisfied smile. I expected his voice to be higher, somehow--I guess because the "boy wonder" does come across in his photos as an overgrown child, a malevolent adolescent with dreams of world domination who got older and fatter and balder without actually growing up. It was said in the media, who after all ought to know, that whenever Rove actually spoke, himself, to reporters, it was a sign that something was wrong. When the kingmaker couldn't trust his proxies to save their own asses, that was when Karl came out of the woodwork. The man has almost singlehandedly ruined my 21st century, and I'd never even really heard him talk. Even when the 'comedians' hired to make sure nobody pulled a Colbert at the most recent state-media lovefest pulled Rove onto the stage to 'rap,' he provided the responses they demanded from him only reluctantly and in a kind of half-whisper. But that day, at least, he was forced to speak for himself, and now his voice has been captured for posterity.

There are all the questions this resignation provokes: Did he jump, or was he pushed? Is he already taking bids from the Republican presidential hopefuls? What even more horrible plans does he have stashed up those sleeves? I don't know; but I do know that there have been noises about Rove resigning for quite some time, and the fact that he's actually done it indicates one of two things: either 1) W. believes Rove has outlived his usefulness or 2) Rove is no longer interested in serving at the pleasure of this particular president. Either way, it's the end of one of the most disastrous homosocial bonds in American political history. If Rove does find himself a new Sith apprentice, we can only hope that this one is at least a little smarter.

Goodbye, Rove. I hope that you managed to destroy your own reputation along with everything else, and that the next time I see you on television you'll be standing between M.C. Hammer and Sally Struthers hawking subprime mortgage loans. In the meantime, my prayers are with your family. History suggests, after all, that spending more time with you can only lead to tragedy.

Don't let the smouldering remnants of the American experiment hit you in the ass on the way out,

The Plaid Adder
Discuss (21 comments) | Recommend (+33 votes)
Greatest Threads
The ten most recommended threads posted on the Democratic Underground Discussion Forums in the last 24 hours.
Visitor Tools
Use the tools below to keep track of updates to this Journal.
 
Home  |  Discussion Forums  |  Journals  |  Campaigns  |  Links  |  Store  |  Donate
About DU  |  Contact Us  |  Privacy Policy
Got a message for Democratic Underground? Click here to send us a message.