A good friend of mine got laid off last week. We discussed the fact that it's hard to find a "sorry you got laid off" card in the Hallmark aisle. She's always wanted to have a second career as a writer of cheesy Hallmark greeting cards. So in her honor, I wrote this "sorry you got laid off" card for George W. Bush. Please reply with your own thoughtful message!

TO A VERY SPECIAL PRESIDENT

You mutilate my language,
You lie and steal and cheat;
And when we face a crisis,
You run like you've got cleats.

Your war is a disaster;
Your "policies" were theft;
We'd offer you a parting gift
But we've got nothing left.

And so we send this card
On your special day,
To say, "Too bad you got laid off--
Now GO THE FUCK AWAY!"

I have a tear in my eye just thinking about it,

The Plaid Adder