With the economy plunging, an Illinois political scandal brewing, and the Middle East igniting (again), this seems a rather ridiculous time for the media to be putting so much time, energy and precious column inches into analyzing Caroline Kennedy’s speech patterns. But hey — like, you know…this is supposed to be a slow news week, you know?

You know, it’s that time of year traditionally reserved for “best and worst moments of 2008″ fluff stuff and election retrospectives, you know, and we just think that…well, you know, maybe this year the media should be like, paying more attention to what’s going on in the world, you know. Because it’s not like any other year, you know, when We The Media can take a nice long nap between December 23 and January 2, because, you know, there’s like nothing going on, anyway…

No, this year, you know, we’re like, facing the greatest domestic economic crisis since the Great Depression, you know. While we were sleeping, the robber barons of Wall St. made out like bandits and left the American people holding the…you know….the bag, or whatever. Israel and Palestine are teetering on the brink of all-out war; and so are…like, India and Pakistan, you know. While our incoming President-elect is preparing to take the oath of in 21 days, our outgoing lame duck is passing out pardons like party hats in Times Square, and you know, somebody ought to be like, keeping an eye on him.

But you know, the press in this country really can’t be, you know, bothered with those uh, political things, because they’re too….like…you know, uh, political or something.

Besides, it’s a lot more fun to make fun of the way Caroline Kennedy um, talks…you know?

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