They were for all different psych illnesses anyway.

I'm almost fine now. Through a long series of luck, and an *ahem*load of hard work, I have all but one syptom under control. I can't drink (alcohol) though: I've wired massive social inhibitions to the danger areas, and alcohol destroys those inhibitions.

Wait, I need to explain 'wired'.... which means I'll have to tell my little tale hope you don't mind.

Note: I doubt this'll be as bad as many a story I've seen here, and don't worry, it all turns out good in the end.

The only prefactor I can think in this that is really important (aside from having mental illness on both sides of the family) is that, due to a psychologist screwing up my mother's family, I could never see a psychiatrist with my mothers knowledge, and given I was in a small country area, it was impossible. So I couldn't.

Part two: From about 14-ish my mind did aplenty of strange things, paranoia, delusions, *stuff* I don't care to mention, compulsive behaviours, loss of emotion, and to cap it all off, my ability to interpret faces screwed up.... still to this day cannot recognise faces beyond about 6-8 metres.

Anyway, there was also an incredibly bad stigma attached back home. Basically, there was so much potsmoking with marijauna far more potent than the natural, the No.1 reason for ambulance callouts was to youth suicide attempts. Good thing I never tried the stuff, most of my friends had by 14.

Part three: I had always been introspective, and and a keen scientist (I mean Einstein and Bohr by year 9), a hit and miss method with ways of thinkng and controlling got the first round under control.... tenatively. 14-17 has been very, very lonely. Worse was still to come: With only a crude reactive ability to control, things got worse, firstly, I think, because in teaching myself to feel emotions again (see the 'Have you lived or worked with a sociopath'thread in the lounge), my mind, which in analagy was bieng told and told to feel emotion (end analagy) and couldn't see it on the faces of others, severely overcompensated when I finally could tell what others were feeling (It's something we all do, when we know what another feels we feel the emotions that we think they do), and this happened whilst I was reading all about abnormal psychology. Cue many, many problems. The worst, however, (though how long it had been going on, I don't know)was still to come.

Part four: Invented memory. This is from schizophrenia on my mother's side. First picked it up when I finally worked out how the mind perceives dreams... led to my first discovery. I picked it because the heights of the people invovled were different, they were what my mind expected. Tenative questioning of my friends meant I was right.

Part five: By this time I was beginning to work out many a stratagem, but it was getting too complex.
Then I learnt how I could create invented memory myself.... what does a smart bastard (my one recompense) do when given this opportunity? He works and works and works at it. I even neglected play and schoolwork for it. Yeah, I know that sounds obsessive, and it was. But this was after I'd figured out how to trigger obsessive behaviour. It was lucky that I did have some measure of control, as by now the 'people I could see that others couldn't' were telling me to kill myself.

Part six: To cut a very long story, replete with details, short, I ended up with what I have now: A 28-barrier mental defense system (called that for 'historical' reasons) Which still has 26 components like they were meant to... (hallucination/delusion/paranoia finders) like the 22nd barrier, which will move the eyes to check the change of focus- what is real, and what the mind presumes, are two different things.

At this point, I have wieghed up immodesty vs. truth, and will tell the truth. My apologies for bieng immodest.

The intelligence involved was such that, even with school neglected, I still got more than 100% in my final exams. How this was done is enough to identify me by name, but if you doubt my story, PM me. I won't mind; I just don't like writing personal details on the open slather (No, not just Tab, any of you can PM me)

Anyway, so I've moved to uni. I've made friends. I might even get a girlfriend . A novel experience. Almost my entire mind is absolutely fine. However, there is that one part that visualises self doing 'socially non-conformative' things... though nothing illegal, don't worry.

I'm far away from family too, another plus.
And I'm not lonely here. Living successfully in a flat with 4 other people!