I was awake at 4 am, unable to sleep. The phone rang at 4:30, and it was a nurse calling, telling me that my Mom passed away in her sleep. In an instant, my blood turned to ice, and I heard my voice screaming "NO!". The rest of me was numb. I hoped and prayed that this was all a bad dream - that I would wake up, shaken, but assured that this wasn't happening.

This was a day I feared for the last several years. I didn't know how I could survive without my Mom. Living without a spouse or family of my own, I came to depend on Mom for so many things. Someone to listen and really hear me. Someone who loved me unconditionally, and often told me to believe in myself. She reminded me, in my darkest times, that I was a far more effective pastor than I'd ever realize. "Remember, you're probably reaching more people than you think you do." When I celebrated the joys of life, she was there. And when I carried the burdens of the world, she reminded me to turn them over to God. And when I hurt - whether physically, or emotionally, she cried with me. Her hugs could cure any pain in the world. Her smile was contagious. She always had a kind word to say about everyone, and those who met her fell in love with her joy of life.

Mommy, I miss you.
Thank you for all you have given me. You live within me, not just in my heart, but in my life. I carry you with me every day, and realize that I would not be the person I am today without you.

Thank you, God, for giving me the most precious gift of all.