I am positive that I have no idea what the answer is. And that's fine.

It helps me stay humble, even as I privately grumble about religion in terms that would be quickly deleted if posted, to remember that:

- I was not raised as an atheist;
- my religious education was the very thing that made me question the existence of God;
- leaving my faith was a difficult decision requiring a conscious effort that taught me about the nature of faith and the limits of human knowledge;
- what I don't believe has evolved in the 30-plus years I have not believed;
- and that nobody, atheists and agnostics included, can say for sure what existence is, and why we are here, and what difference it makes to anyone or anything beyond our own wants and needs.

My mother was very religious but fell away in her 40s. She never again attended church except for weddings, baptisms and funerals. So I was surprised that she wanted a priest to visit her during her final hospital stay. Some would write off her return to faith to a desire for childlike security, seeking comfort in the face of the unknown. Well, why the fuck not. What is wrong with that, and who am I to judge someone ill and weak, in unbearable pain, who needs comfort beyond human ability to provide. Likewise I cannot begrudge that comfort to anyone who it helps withstand the cruelty of life and the terror of death.

Are they simple-minded to believe, or do they hold the key to everlasting life? Will I be sorry someday that I don't believe, or am I superior to them? I can't possibly know, so why should I care so long as we don't tread on each others' toes.

I'm glad I was raised with religious beliefs, and glad I don't hold those beliefs now. So when I rail against delusional fundies who want to twist my life to please their invisible sand gods, I try not to piss all over the great number of religious people who have no such goals, who are kind and generous and tolerant to the extent that humans are capable, and who are as flawed and imperfect as me - who does not, at this point in time, believe.