~Edith Wharton.

What does that quote mean to you? I'm interested to hear your interpretation.


To me it means we are All connected and part of a giant diamond of bright Light, here to burn brightly and reflect our communal and individual growing consciousness.

Shine on!

I have a confession. I am dealing with a huge amount of life change right now, sometimes more gracefully than others, as I watch my kids transform in front of me and make the shift from young kids to young adults. ShineGirl, 11 1/2 yrs old, is about ready to leave elementary school. We are rapidly concluding the last days of the school year and nine years at the elementary. She's our last one, our "baby", so it's a time of Transition, as she will begin Middle School in the fall. I know she is ready to move on, but I'm feeling a bit nostalgic as we get ready to forever say goodbye to the routine of Elementary School. The teenage years are looming for her. It's such a formative time for girls, in general, and I want to usher her in as consciously as possible.

Meanwhile, ShineBoy, 14 1/5 yrs old, is getting ready to graduate from Middle School and is fully in the teenage boy experience. In the past six months alone, his voice has dropped, he's grown 4 inches, he's totally thinned out and filled out at the same time, and he's professing his love to a girl, via text messages!! I know this b/c I've been reading his text messages, unbeknownst to him.

I know, I know, it's NOT the coolest thing to do. I realize that and have felt conflicted about it, quite frankly. Let me just say, in my defense, that I got freaked out hearing the recent story of a girlfriend of mine who has two kids, a boy and girl 17 mos apart, who are basically the same age as ShineBoy and they've got MAJOR issues going on there: drug use, shoplifting, driving without a license, hit and run, court appearances, community service hours, it's scary shit, trust me. My friend found out what her kids were REALLY doing when she read their texts.

My kids seem tame in comparison...and they are. But recently, I've been having issues of Trust and Freedom with ShineBoy, where he hasn't communicated with me about being home by the agreed upon time, doesn't have his phone turned on, so when I call him I get his voice mail, which then REALLY pisses me off ("If we pay all this money for a phone, you need to be reachable, dammit!"). Last week, we had at least three different upsets about his inability and unwillingness to be responsible and communicate about where he was. THEN, I discovered he'd racked up $160 worth of iTunes charges on our credit card! (Me: "What were you thinking?? Did you think we wouldn't notice?! Duh!" Him: "Oh....I didn't think it would add up that much.")

With regards to his schoolwork, he recently procrastinated til the very last minute on a major class project, and although he managed to somehow pull it off in the end, the amount of stress to crank it out was unbelievable. He was up til all hours of the night, finishing up something that should have been done a loooong time ago. This was the dynamic: Me, being upset and making him wrong. Him, being defensive and angry. Both of us feeling we could be doing a better job. NOT pleasant.

Sigh. It is stunning to see the lack of judgment teenagers can have, but that's all part of the package, right?

Plus, there's the whole looming sex thing. Suddenly, he's got a girl classmate who he's practically doing text sex with, although I am fairly certain they haven't even kissed yet...they've certainly texted about it in great detail. She's actually "seeing" someone else, but they will undoubtedly break up soon so she can be with my son! Soap opera 8th grade.... Unbelievable. They are professing their "love" for each other and talking about how "stellar" each others' bodies are.

It's really quite bizarre for me to shift my perception of my "little boy" into a sexual, young man......and yet, that's exactly what's happening and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

I tell you, friends, it's a trip being a parent! At his age, I was NEVER that far along, emotionally or otherwise. It's fascinating to see how so much has changed within the last generation. The influence of technology, specifically cell phone texting and the internet for such sites at MySpace, changes everything. The kids today are so much more advanced than I ever was, that's for sure.

Big picture and bottom line: What he is doing is definitely within the parameters of "normal teenage behaviour". All in all, he's a good kid and we've done a good job of parenting him. He's got a good head on his shoulders, but I have to let him make his own mistakes and learn from them. I need to back off and stop creating upset and drama for myself by trying to micro-manage his life, which is exactly what I have been doing. I recognize that this is my "issue" of letting go and allowing him to become a man.

It's still weird, though, I gotta say. I'm learning how and where to set new boundaries of being involved, yet at the same time, giving him space to be who he is.

MrShine has had many frank talks with him about sex and being responsible by using protection. He's a great dad and I feel so fortunate to have such a wonderful life partner to share this parenting journey with. His plan is to get a bunch of condoms and stash them away in a special place and then let ShineBoy know where the stash is. He doesn't want me to know where the stash will be because he knows I would probably go count them.

He's right.

Party on, people!

The kids are on Spring Break this whole week. They're actually still in bed, at 9:15am.

I'm going for a 2 hr birthday bike ride with my friend at 10am and then she's taking me out for lunch.

Tonight we're having a nice birthday dinner out with the family, including my Mom.

I want to get her a gardenia corsage, to thank her for giving me the gift of Life.

Life is great, so let's enjoy it!!

Happy Spring, everyone! In the dark times of today's world, it's good to remember the sun is always shining somewhere.

When these "coincidences" happen that cannot be explained rationally, I personally feel enormously comforted because they remind me that even in the midst of the Mystery, of the NOT KNOWING, there is something "Bigger" flowing through it All, which binds the sacred with the mundane.

It reminds me that ultimately, everything is Connected and I am part of that connection.

Does that make sense?

It was the most romantic moment of my life.

Here is our story:
In spring I returned the red onion that wasn’t used in the stir-fry dinner we’d made earlier that week. He was so surprised and touched that I cared enough to bring it back, he jokingly called it the "Red Onion of Love." We had a good laugh, and he teased me about it for a while.

By autumn we’d been happily living together for a few months when one day he said he wanted to take me out for a fancy dinner up in the City.

He suggested we drive up the coast. We were whizzing up Felton Empire when he spontaneously suggested we stop for a little stroll in Fall Creek State Park.

I thought it was strange, but also sweetly sentimental since Fall Creek has always been special to us.

There we were, dressed up and strolling along in the forest. A flash of white caught my eye as we were heading down toward the creek.

I looked down and saw a bistro table and two empty chairs set up next to the creek.

I said, "Look at that!"

He said, "Let’s go down and check it out."

I worried we might be disturbing someone, but he assured me it was fine. I began to get suspicious.

A red rose was lying on the path. The table was impressive, complete with white tablecloth, a crystal platter of sliced fruits and cheese, a bottle of champagne ... and there, in between the two plates, was a big red onion. The Red Onion of Love.

Then I knew it was all for me. I hugged him, and he was trembling. He got down on bended knee and proposed.

Of course I said, "Yes!" We kissed, we feasted, and we drove away in bliss.

This was our 7th annual camping trip with three other neighbor families down to Big Sur, with all the kids. A great time was had by all, but it was definitely the hottest year down there, by far. It was in the upper 80's all weekend long. Unusual for that area, but we loved it!

Perfect weather, on the way down, Friday afternoon


Nice vista spot


I took this one from the car, as we were driving!


the Shinesters!


the entrance to Pfieffer Big Sur State Park


We made the kids do all the dishes.


Hangin' at the swimming hole


Catching crawdads was a fun activity


Me and MrShine

I don't even hate George W. Bush....which around here, is probably considered blasphemy. He is providing us, as a nation, with the opportunity to WAKE UP and choose a different way of being because he personifies, in so many ways, being unconscious. He reflects back to us our collective disconnection from each other and our environment.

One of the things that bothers me most about DU sometimes is the constant vitriol and negativity that seems to pervade most threads. In my opinion, it drags down the collective energy of this forum. Yes, there's a lot of shit going on in the world, but there's a LOT of positive stuff happening, too. I think DU tends to get out of balance by focusing too much on what's wrong rather than on how to create a more peaceful world.

Personally, I am interested in stepping outside of the polarities of left/right;democrat/republican and instead choose to focus on our collective humanity and the understanding that, ultimately, we are ONE.

My two cents.

it's about a shift in consciousness, a new way of being in the world that moves us from Separation towards Oneness. I firmly believe that if we are to survive as a planet, as a species, we have to awaken to our fundamental connection with each other. The longer we continue to focus on our differences, the harder it is to create common ground. This conversation is much more than about "Democrat vs Republican", or other simplistic distinctions....I see it as an orientation of the heart.

My two cents.

I'm back from the CA Death Ride (2800 cyclists, 125 miles, 5 mtn passes, 16,000ft of climbing, all in one day!) and from two weeks vacationing back east. I was able to complete the entire ride and do all five passes on my first attempt, so I'm pretty stoked. Thanks for all your good ju ju, loungers, I'm sure it helped. The ride was intense and I really had to dig deep to finish. The last 15 miles were the hardest, but I was triumphant, in the end.

We started the day, in the dark, with helmet lights, at 4:40am and ended at 8pm. Whew!! I probably burned over 10,000 calories that day, seriously.
Total time, including breaks: 15hrs, 20min.
Total saddle time: 12 hrs, 10 min.

A view of the sun rising over the Sierras, as we make our way up Monitor Pass, the first climb of the day.


Heading toward Carson Pass, the last big climb of the day, in 95+degree heat.


On the top of Carson Pass, getting ready to eat our well-deserved ice cream bars before the long ride back down the mountain. (I'm the one on the left)


Here I am, signing this year's Death Ride poster. Only the 5-pass finishers get that honor. As you can see, since we came in so late, it was hard to find an area that wasn't already covered.


At the end of the day, we were victorious, happy and TIRED!!


It's good to be back home.

All season long I've been training for an endurance cycling event that just happened last weekend.
It was a double metric century (125 miles) with 8,000+ ft of climbing.

But, because of a stupid wrong turn (our mistake) which added an additional 1/2 hr of time and 9 miles to our total, we ended up doing an even longer ride!

We woke up at 4:30 am, left at 6:20 am and returned by 6:15pm. Damn, it was a loooong day, but worth it in the end.

Here are the stats:

Total mileage: 136 miles
Total elevation gain: 8,255 ft
Total saddle time: 9:45 minutes
Total time: 12 hrs
Average speed: 13.9 mph



Yes, I feel TRIUMPHANT !!! It was definitely a Personal Best. I'm a bit sore in my thighs, from all the climbing, but overall, I'm doing pretty well. All the training and pre-ride hydration really paid off. I'm taking it easy for a couple days, though....

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!!!!!!!

Celebrate with me!!!!!!

Here's some history:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discu...

Our annual Spring Concert is on May 19th. We'll be performing in front of about 700 people. Wish me luck! I am so totally stoked.

there are many names...I see myself as connected to the the whole, as we all are. We are all facets of the same diamond, here to remember the connection we have with each other and with the Divine. In truth, there is only ONE of us here. I feel this with all my heart and soul.

Christopher's story is heartbreaking and hard to comprehend. How can we make sense of such suffering and cruelty? I don't know and I don't think we're meant to know, quite frankly. We are challenged to see beyond the illusion of separation and remember that Christopher's story and his parents' story is connected with ours, in some way. It reflects back to us a part of our cultural and collective identity. It is both painful and yet necessary for us to become aware of that because it gets us in touch with our Compassion.

Perhaps there's something "higher" being played out by having to bear witness to this dance of suffering. IS there any "meaning" to be given to these sorts of situations?? Who knows?????

I have no answers, but I know with all my heart that when we are confronted with the darkest and most painful aspects of our collective human psyche, we are called to remember and embrace the Shadow within ourselves and by doing so, we have the great capacity to be healed with Compassion, Love and Grace.

In the Darkness, we are called to remember the Light. I know this is True.

Last night I watched "Inconvenient Truth" with our 13 yr old son. He had wanted to rent it, which happily surprised me b/c I didn't think he'd be interested. I'd seen it before, but watched it again with him. It's such a powerful movie, for many different reasons.

Aside from all the valuable information about global warming, however, one of the most interesting things for me to consider was the bit about how Gore had been so heavily influenced in college by his professor who had been tracking the rising temperatures, since the 50's. Essentially, that one professor helped to chart the course of Gore's life work. Gore was inspired to take action and learn more about the subject because he understood the importance. He's since gone on to become a major educational force in the world, in part because of the influence of that one teacher. How might things be different today if Gore hadn't taken that man's class?

It's fascinating to consider the effects of one person and the difference one person can make on the world. Yes, we're all connected and the ways in which our lives intersect and weave together is inspiring and yet it also gives me pause, because it makes me think about how important it is to bring that awareness of our connection with each other into our day-to-day relationships. For me, anyway, there's an unspoken call to act and speak more responsibly, knowing that in my own small way I am helping to make the world a better place.

We are here to lift each other up and remember our common humanity. What ripples do YOU send out?

edit: spelling. (thanks, RoBear! )

It only takes me down a path of Fear, Worry, and Resignation.

I choose to live in Hope. The kind of hope I often think about I understand above all as a state of mind, not a state of the world. Either we have hope within us or we don't. It is a dimension of the soul; it's not essentially dependent on some particular observation of the world or estimate of the situation.

Hope is not prognostication. It is an orientation of the spirit, an orientation of the heart. It transcends the world that is immediately experienced, and is anchored somewhere beyond its horizons.

It is this hope, above all, which gives us the strength to live and continually try new things, even in conditions that seem as hopeless as ours do, here and now.

I offer you a

I recently read a book that deeply moved me, called "The Impossible Will Take a Little While: A Citizen's Guide to Hope in a Time of Fear", edited by Paul Rogat Loeb
http://www.paulloeb.org/newimp/impindex.ht...

It's an excellent, uplifting and inspiring book that is filled with essays from all sorts of very well-known leaders. Do yourself a favor and check it out, if you haven't already.

In one of the essays, called "The Optimism of Uncertainty", by Howard Zinn, he writes: "Pessimism becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy; it reproduces itself by crippling our willingness to act." Powerful stuff. Wise words.

I believe we are all part of a chain of big-hearted people who care about the Earth, about the life that gives it fruitfulness, and about a world where rights would be respected, children cherished and peace prevail. We have to be part of something larger than ourselves, because our dreams are often bigger than our lifetimes.