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Skinner
  MEMORANDUM To: Ken Mehlman, RNC Chairman Your 3/10 attack against the Democrats from the Southern Republican Leadership Conference has been very well received. As expected, the media gave broad play to your key sound bite, "Not only can they not settle on an agenda, they can't even agree on a slogan," and repeated the examples we provided to support the charge. By the way, you were right: No one bothered to point out that we also lack a slogan for 2006. Per your request, here are the slogans currently under consideration by the message committee, by topic. ABORTION Just think of how safe the country will be when all the rapists move to South Dakota. DOMESTIC SPYING You weren't using the Bill of Rights anyway. Vote for us, and we promise not to tap your phone. ECONOMY/JOBS You know that warm fuzzy feeling you get when you donate canned goods to hungry people? It's kinda like that, except instead of "canned goods" think "your job," and instead of "hungry people" think "Chinese people in sweatshops." You always dreamed of an early retirement. And now you've got it. Sick of your kids borrowing money from you? Vote Republican, and let us borrow from your kids. MORAL VALUES At least gay people can't get married. That's gotta be worth something. Want some church with your state? Voting Democrat makes the baby Jesus cry. NATIONAL SECURITY Like the Iraq War? You'll love the Iran War! Who needs port security when you've got God on your side? GOVERNMENT REFORM Don't like what's happening to our country? Remember that the Democrats control all the branches of government except three. We've still got a whole bunch of elected officials who aren't indicted. We will not rest until Natalee Holloway is found. |
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Profile Information  Skinner
Skinner is the owner and co-founder of Democratic Underground. You'll laugh. You'll cry.
 Another Fund Drive? Where Did All The Money Go? (Answer: Programmer Chow) Sun May 16 2006 George W. Bush's Best Moment in Office? A Presidential Fish Story... Sun May 7 2006 The Most Important Thing In the Universe. It's Day Five of Colbertpalooza! Thu May 4 2006 The REAL Reasons Why Scott McClellan Has Left the White House Wed Apr 19 2006 Newly discovered "Eden Fish" proves creationism is right (again!) Mon Apr 10 2006 There's a War on Christians? Sign me up! Mon Apr 3 2006 The Immigration Show Tue Mar 28 2006 David Brooks and the eerie parallels between Bush and Lincoln Mon Mar 27 2006 Sorry, Anonymous. Democratic Men Are Better in Bed. Just Ask My Wife. Fri Mar 24 2006 Scouring the Media for "All The Good Things" Happening in Iraq Thu Mar 23 2006 Katherine Harris Gets a Telephone Call From God Wed Mar 22 2006 Signs that your youngster might be a conservative Tue Mar 21 2006 Skinner's Iraq War Strategies That Would Work Better and Cost Less Mon Mar 20 2006 The Iraq War Reloaded Fri Mar 17 2006 Trash-can transcript: Reid and Feingold Discuss Censure Resolution Thu Mar 16 2006 Found! Super-secret 2006 GOP Message Memo! Wed Mar 15 2006 Blogroll DU Journals
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