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The Last Midnight (DU Edition)
I've watched Obama's speech and Edwards' speech, and I am listening to Hillary's meeting now.
I freaking love these guys. All of them. I am so happy to be a Democrat tonight.
That's all. Carry on.
Hello all! Every year I write a number of parody Christmas/holiday carols based on whatever I'm interested in at the time. This year is super-special because we have a big election coming up next year, so I'm pleased and proud to present to you my
Presidential Primary Holiday Spectacular!
(to the tune of Jingle Bells)
Hillary, Hillary,
That’s all I have heard
Even the Republicans
Can’t stop saying that word!
Hillary, Hillary,
Goes by her first name
But that isn’t sexist
Because Rudy does the same.
Back in Ohio,
In 2004,
We’d not lose again,
Democrats all swore.
But the pundits sing,
“She can’t win this fight,”
Never even mentioning
The name of one who might.
So, Hillary, Hillary,
You know that I care
If you are the nominee
I’ll fight for you, I swear!
But Hillary, Hillary,
Please just tell me true
That you know that, like that dress,
Real Democrats are blue!
(to the tune of Santa Claus Is Coming to Town)
Oh, you better not shout
You better not cry
Or you’ll get punched out
By this crazy guy
John McCain is coming to town
He’s got a short fuse
We saw it the day
He found out the news
His sweaters were “gay”
John McCain wears nothing but brown!
He sees you there, al Qaeda,
He knows you’re in Iraq.
So don’t tell him it’s time to leave
Or he might just attack.
Oh, you may be a Dem,
But vote for the man,
Cuz “Holy Joe” says
He’s bipartisan.
If you don’t, he’ll have a breakdown!
(to the tune of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer)
Dennis, the red-faced hopeful
Had a very tiny chance
Cause when the pundits saw him
They laughed so hard they wet their pants
All of the other hopefuls
Trying for 2008
They’d never let poor Dennis
Have a say in their debate!
When he met Ron Paul online
Dennis had to say,
“Ron Paul, your fundraising’s great!
Won’t you be my running mate?”
Then they went off together
To a place where tall they stand.
And they were just elected
Presidents of Munchkinland!
(To the tune of Hannukah Oh Hannukah)
Monica, oh Monica,
Come back to the fore-ah
We’re so sorry that we ever
Called you a whore-ah
Now we’ve got a deficit
A war in Iraq
We’d give Bush a BJ
Just to get your boss back!
Monica, oh Monica
Wherever you are-ah
We miss when our leader’s sins
Involved a cigar-ah
We long for the days when
Our troubles were less
We will even give you gelt
To buy a new blue dress!
Then of course there are such classics as “Jingle Barack,” “Rudy Got Run Over By a Scandal,” and “Mitt! The Hired Aliens Sing…” but never mind them.
here is the piece d’resistance…
The 12 Days of Campaigning
(or, An Iowa caucus-goer reflects on the primary experience)
The first ‘08 candidate
I happened to see
Was a mayor named Giuliani
The second ‘08 candidate
I came here to see
Says she’s in to win
She’s a lady they call Hillary
The third ‘08 candidate
I could (barely) see
Was Ron Paul
(He’s a little strange,
But the Internet thinks he’s funky.)
The fourth ‘08 candidate
I wanted to see
Was a Mormon—that’s
L.D.S.
(No, he has one wife)
And his name is the Mitt-ster, Romney.
The fifth ‘08 candidate
I’m lucky to see
OPRAH endorse!
Obama’s here too,
but who cares?
She’s someone who has
More power than the presidency.
The sixth ‘08 candidate
I’m yawning to see
Fred “Forrest” Thompson—
He talks so slow!
Doesn’t make much sense,
Seems so bored,
He should go back home
And continue to act on TV.
The seventh ‘08 candidate
I’m dying to see
Is Johnny Edwards
He’s running again
God, he’s so cute!
Loved him in ‘04,
He’s moved left—
He would surely win
If he gets to be the nominee.
The eighth ‘08 candidate
I’m crying to see
Hates all abortion,
Never cared for science,
Thinks we’re all Christians…
First in the polls!?!?!?
How’d he manage that?
What the hell?
Mitt’s blowing his top
But the Far Right just (hearts) Huckabee.
The ninth ‘08 candidate
I’m laughing just to see
Wants to end the drug war
Get our boys back stateside
Do a bunch of weirdness
I’ve nearly forgotten
(Where’d this guy go?)
You remember him?
Mike Gravel,
Sure that he would win
But we haven’t seen his face lately.
The tenth ‘08 candidate
I’m burning to see
Tends to go bonkers
Thinks he’s a mav’rick
Lieberman loves him
Doesn’t want torture
But he likes bombing?
Can’t catch a break!
Maybe if it was
Five years back
He would have a chance
But McCain is too senile for me.
The eleventh ‘08 candidate
I’m flipped out to see
Loves to hear himself talk
Just ask any colleague
He can say a mouthful
Without even breathing
Kind of like I’m doing
Now I’m gonna stop and
Name Joe Biden!
Seriously, he
Won’t shut up.
If you watch C-SPAN
I have no doubt that you will agree.
The other ‘08 candidates
I’ll mention briefly:
Richardson: great ads;
Kucinich: tiny;
Tancredo: dropped out;
Brownback: yeah, ditto;
Colbert: was joking;
Chris Dodd: he isn’t?;
LET’S DRAFT AL GORE!
What a crazy time,
But great fun…
Can’t wait till ‘08
But for now, enjoy the primary!
The fact that he would win is a fringe benefit.
Can you imagine the number of common-sense views and opinions he could place in our national discourse if he were campaigning?
The number of things he has said that nobody has listened to because he hasn't had the platform to say them? (Thinking of the MLK day speech)
If he really wants to influence political discourse in this country, running for President would be absolutely the best thing he could do.
...outside of web clips, that is... My impression is: He may very well be a minor deity.  That's all. Carry on.
All we need to hear re: SillyBill:
"MoveOn swears that the 'Sense of the Senate' bill will have just as much effect on it as Warner's 'Sense of the Senate' bill will have on our troops in the field."
Dear Mr. Bin Laden: I honestly don't care what you have to say. Stop trying to scare me. Love, The Witch.  Dear Mr. Bush: I honestly don't care what Mr. Bin Laden has to say. Stop trying to scare me. Love, The Witch. Dear Mr. Bin Laden: Nothing you say is going to change how I live my life. I'm not afraid of you. Love, The Witch. Dear Mr. Bush: Nothing Mr. Bin Laden says is going to change how I live my life. I'm not afraid of him. Love, The Witch. Dear Mr. Bin Laden: Nothing you say about Mr. Bush is going to change how I feel about him, either. Love, The Witch. Dear Mr. Bush: Nothing Mr. Bin Laden says about you is going to change how I feel about you, either. Love, The Witch. Dear Mr. Bin Laden: If your God is the kind of God who wants you to murder innocents to get into heaven, I'd rather be in hell with the innocents than in heaven with you, thank you very much. Love, The Witch. Dear Mr. Bush: Same to you. Love, The Witch.
This post has been deleted because it offended some people.
http://legaltimes.typepad.com/blt/2007/07/...
Yesterday, the Vice President’s former chief of staff was spotted, mitt in hand, at a Sunday-morning pickup softball game at a park in upper Northwest D.C.
Several observers noted that Libby was a regular player before going to work for the veep, but that he dropped out of the group about seven years ago. At the time, he played left field. Yesterday, he was relegated to second base.
Later in the game, he was called out on strikes, but President Bush decided that he thought the strike zone was too wide and reduced the size of it so the game wouldn't be too harsh on Libby, who had done such excellent service to his team over the years... 
and I have DU to thank for what I was able to say. The question was, "What would the Founding Fathers think of today's America?" I called on the line saying they would be displeased.
They'd be displeased at least with one political situation, and what's more, I can tell you exactly what two of them would say and why they'd say it.
George Mason would say, "The President has commuted the sentence of someone, ostensibly to protect his own office. What do we do?"
And James Madison would say, "That's what the House of Representatives has impeachment for. They better get to it!"
And how do I know they'd say this? Because they DID say it. At the Constitutional Convention. They envisioned exactly this scenario, and that was their remedy.
Thanks, DU, for finding that nugget for me. It came in handy this morning!
I saw you at 9 this morning and I thought I should point out a few things.
1) It doesn't happen on both sides. You kept saying it did. But you never gave an example. OK, you gave ONE example. You said that when Ann Coulter says John Edwards should die, she gets flak, but when Bill Maher says the world would be better off if Dick Cheney died, he gets applause. Which brings me to my next point:
2) There's a slight difference between what Ann said and what Bill said. Ann said John Edwards should die for no reason at all. Bill said the world would be better off if Dick Cheney died because Dick Cheney is directly responsible for so many deaths in the world--that is true whether or not you feel those deaths were justified--and there may (or may not) be some equity there.
3) Finally, you said, "The sad thing is that Ann will use it to sell more books." If you truly find this sad, can I point out a way it could be remedied? Perhaps she wouldn't get in these on-air scuffles if she wasn't on air. And yet you and your friend Chris (who was on the bottom half of the screen at 9 am) keep putting her on the air. Why not, um, I dunno, STOP?
Love,
The Witch
In a DC subway station near the White House this morning:
Remember when there were no oversight committees?
That train has left the station.
That's right, credit-card companies are now marketing credit cards with built-in publicly available statements so congressional staffers, etc., don't have to worry about transparency... ...because now the Democrats are in town. 
 The Here in Spirit sign...  has been sitting in my bedroom for ... how many years now? Since that march. But I'm cleaning out my apartment because I'm getting married next week and want to come home from my honeymoon to a clean house... and I don't know what else to do with it. So say g'bye, yall.....
I just heard my senator disappoint me greatly. By voting No on cloture for the Feingold/Reid amendment, Sen. Webb betrayed my trust in him and my faith that he would do the right thing. After hearing his no, I called his office and asked why he wasn't supporting the amendment. A staff member told me she didn't know if he was going to support it - he had been thinking and talking about it with staff up until the last minute. What does that tell me? That he wasn't getting the landslide of calls from constituents that he needed to get. That's my fault. I should have called. I'm ashamed.
This time, I waited until I heard the disappointment on the floor. I won't wait so long next time. All of you who read this, please do the same.
Ewwww.
Over the past week, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi toured the Middle East with a congressional entourage and a generous collection of scarves. The scarves provided her with an additional bit of sartorial modesty when the situation required it and she was also able to use them to cover her head when protocol dictated -- such as when she visited the tomb of John the Baptist inside a mosque in Damascus and tied one around her head in the manner of a Hitchcock heroine.
When was the last time you saw an article about a male politician's outfits? 
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Profile Information The Witch
3988 posts Member since Mon Mar 7th 2005 Oakton I'm the hitch. I'm what no one believes. I'm the witch. Greatest Threads
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