from: http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-2895-LA...

I don’t know if you all know this, but when a major cable news network launches a news show, they ask a bunch of Hollywood entertainment executives for “zazzy” alternative titles to the straightforward ones they usually go for.

Due to my incredible reporting dexterity, I have managed to uncover the top choices that were submitted to these cable news networks before the titles were nixed, in favor of the boring old titles that now appear on your television.

The news networks initially sought these titles to let the average layperson, who might not already watch their shows, better ascertain the type of program that exists behind the name.

So, to reveal the alternative titles to the shows you know and love, click on the links below and it will take you to the alternative title with a nice picture or illustrative youtube video!

I’ve also decided to hold a contest. This is your big chance, people. Listen up. If you think you can come up with a better alternative title to a show below, or for a show I did not mention, feel free to enter your entry in the comments section below and I will give it the credit it is due.... I’ll post the winners in a later column, giving you the instant fame and exposure of a column that is read by, literally, dozens of human beings...

See the list and participate at: http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-2895-LA...

Hey folks! Lookin’ for something to do this Wednesday? Something that is not only patriotic, but fun? Then come on down to Joe’s Truck n Tow and tea-bag the heck out of your community April 15th!

That’s right, with that scary Tiger Woods guy in the white house trying to give us all health care, trying to perform a government rescue of the failed banks, raising the tax rate on your rich neighbors across town by 3 percentage points, and, worst of all, passing and incredibly large stimulus, there is only one way to combat his package. Tea-bag it.

So come and come hard to voice your protest and say “no! I don’t want healthcare” by tea-bagging the President’s package with your local Republican member of congress for fun, food, and hot tea-bagging action!


...more at:
http://www.examiner.com/examiner/x-2895-LA...

In recent days, I was feeling lost. Two wars we seem to be stuck in without end, a financial meltdown occurring right before us, and me, equipped with just this tiny little political satire column to try to change things. I felt like I was not in control of my own destiny. That life was hopeless. But then, one man saved my life. That man was Glenn Beck.

He gave me the 9 principles, and the 12 values. Now, my life has meaning. I'd like to take the opportunity to look into each one of these sacred 9 principles, with the hope that my interpretation might illuminate WHAT THE *#($ HE IS TALKING ABOUT!

Here they are...
more: http://www.examiner.com/x-2895-LA-Politica...

With CNBC’s credibility diminished by their inability to predict the financial crisis, combined with the “evisceration” the network took from Jon Stewart last week, other networks are honing in on CNBC’s anchors, whose jobs, some believe, may be in question.

“We would really love some of them to work next year’s Oscars.” one executive form the E! Network said. “I mean, I thought some of our E! channel anchors were shameless sycophantic ass-kissers, but after watching clips of CNBC interviews with CEOs of the major investment banks and hedge funds… I mean, I’ve never seen anything like that. Erin or Maria would be great on the red carpet.”

more at...
http://www.examiner.com/x-2895-LA-Politica...

The Republican Party recently unveiled it’s new line of thinking about how to win voters back under the Republican umbrella. It is a two-pronged approach.

One: Let the economy melt down, resulting in chaos and suffering.
Two: Kick everybody out of the party.

Now I know this seems counter-intuitive, yet you bleeding heart liberals don’t seem to grasp the utter genius of this approach. I could explain it to you all in detail, but again, your small-minded “Democrat” way of thinking won’t even come close to comprehending the all-encompassing wisdom and ephemeral truths tied up in this way of political action.

Continued at... :

http://www.examiner.com/x-2895-LA-Politica...

This is my funny satirical column imagining what it would be like if Eric Cantor, John Boehner, and Mitch McConnell twittered each other during Obama's speech last night.

http://www.examiner.com/x-2895-LA-Politica...

Enjoy and keep tuning in!