Calls Late Comic “Too Liberal for America”

(Satire)

‘Fox and Friends’ host Steve Doocy, who earlier in the day warned viewers that singer/songwriter John Mellencamp is more liberal than either Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama, has now placed his bull’s-eye on the late comedian George Carlin.

This morning, responding to supporters calls for a Mellencamp Senate bid for the seat being vacated by Evan Bayh, Doocy characterized the driving force behind Farm Aid as “way over there!” Mellencamp, who remains a silent non-candidate, could not be reached for comment.

Later in the day, Doocy was back, this time attacking comedian George Carlin, who he sees as a possible primary contender against New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand. “I think almost any Republican would probably prevail in a general election against that Southern Black carpetbagger guy,” he said (referring to former Tennessee Congressman Harold Ford, Jr.,) “But Carlin, a major league lefty, could pose a major threat not only to his rivals, but to our country. He’s very liberal, he’s very popular, and the fact that he’s dead poses unique challenges for his opposition.”

When asked about the feasibility of a Senate bid by Carlin, who died in June of 2008, Doocy was quick to point out, “Qualified, experienced, conservative Republicans, such as John Ashcroft in 2000 for example, have often had trouble defeating dead opponents, who many view as more sympathetic and charismatic. Also, dead candidates are known for avoiding scandal – if one’s ever caught in a motel room with a sitting member of Congress, for instance, they’re never the one who signed the register.”

Meegan Toomey, a producer with ‘Fox and Friends’ who spoke on condition of anonymity, confirmed that the network has developed a new strategy of attacking liberals who are not candidates for office, telling reporters, “This presumably will allow for easier attacks on candidates supported by those who have already been impugned without the hassle and annoyance of presenting valid, pertinent facts which some viewers expect when a direct attack is launched.” She later added, “The genius of a Steve Doocy is that he can find a liberal threat to the United States almost anywhere – and as in the case of George Carlin, he’s not afraid to do some digging.”

In a related story, the Fox News Channel has called a press conference for 11:00 a.m. EST tomorrow, where it is expected they will announce the fall launch of a new weekly one-hour series of exposés attacking the political views of such public figures such as Alec Baldwin, Susan Sarandon, and Paul Newman, among others.

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