Anyone who's ever seen Little Shop of Horrors knows when Seymour Krelborn made his first mistake.

Seymour just wants to be loved by Audrey, a blond with a good heart and a very tacky fashion sense, and bag some economic success.

So when he happens upon a sinister but appealing little plant and takes it back to the flower shop, at first giving "Audrey II" a few drops of his own blood to keep it alive seems like a harmless, even noble, thing to do.

Lo and behold! Feeding "Audrey II" proves to be the road to fame and fortune for Seymour, and even the key to capturing the heart of Audrey, who's not too bright but finds the bland, suburban-wannabe Seymour oddly appealing.

Unfortunately, a few drops of blood here and there are not enough for "Audrey II."

The first murder seems almost accidental, harmless, even. Hardly a murder at all, just a failure to help out the nasty dentist stuck in his own nitrous rig. And "Audrey II" grows much bigger, and the fame and fortune balloon, and it looks like love in a rambler with plastic-covered furniture for Seymour and Audrey.

But then things start going wrong. "Audrey II" helps Seymour take out the owner of the flower shop! And even the orginal Audrey falls victim to "Audrey II." Eventually, Seymour himself will be swallowed up and "Audrey II" is revealed as an evil alien already well on the way to completing a plan of world conquest!

Here's the cast of this new version of Little Shop of Horrors:

Seymour: The GOP
Audrey: America's voters
Flower Shop/Owner: US Constitution
Dentist: Mainstream media
"Audrey II": The GOP "Base"

Someone take pity on Michael Steele and mail him a DVD of "Little Shop of Horrors" before it's too late!

Oh, wait...

Never mind.

whimsically,
Bright