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bushwentawol's Journal
Posted by Wapsie B in General Discussion (1/22-2007 thru 12/14/2010)
Sat Dec 15th 2007, 01:36 PM
Do we want that to happen?




Barbaric. There's no other word for it.


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Posted by Wapsie B in Astrology, Spirituality & Alternative Healing Group
Wed Nov 07th 2007, 09:40 AM
Did you know that whenever you whisper, "I'm sorry..." to someone quietly in your mind, someone over here sheds a tear and healing begins?

Did you know that whenever you whisper, "Can I help you..." to someone quietly in your mind, someone over here sheds a tear and an army of angels are sent?

And, did you know that whenever you whisper, "I love you..." to someone quietly in your mind, someone over here sheds a tear, healing begins, an army of angels are sent, and 10,000 bells are rung?

Actually, you even have your own marching band that follows you everywhere....

I love you,
The Universe

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Posted by Wapsie B in The DU Lounge
Sun Sep 02nd 2007, 04:16 PM
I was at the store finally able to talk to this woman I've been wanting to ask out for a long time. Whenever I see here there we talk for a bit and flirt but I never got it out that I wanted to just sit down for coffee sometime. Well I stuttered and stammered and asked her last night and she said,"I don't think so." I had never been so relieved to get a rejection in all my life.

Although I'm sure there's lots of reasons why it would never work I still needed to do it, to finally know, to not have to go through life wondering what a good time we might've had together if only I'd have made a move. So now I get to move on.

Problem is I needed to have 20 other women right then and there to ask, to be able to get one yes, or whatever good odds would be meeting someone off the street. I need to be in a place where there are way more available women out there, in one place and showing their availability.

If I could learn those signals a woman gives off half the battle would be over. If I could figure out when a woman is available just by observing her and making my move, even if it's just to say hello I'd be a happy camper. The yes's would come. But I'm not seeing that kind of thing at all.
Even walking in the park everyday I will say high to a lot of people. One in particular these last couple weeks really caught my eye. She was walking her dog one evening when I was out for my hike. Very attractive blonde, upper 30's or so, great smile and flirty. We flirted with each other and exchanged greetings the first night I saw her. Even bumped into her again as I was finishing as we were walking in opposite directions around the park.

Well, as soon as I drove away I was thinking to myself that yeah, she's got a hubby, boyfriend, fiance............Sure enough, next time I saw her walking around the part she had a guy with her. He and I said hello as we passed each other, but she gave me a tense smile. That has been my experience with meeting women doing the things I love to do. Meet someone cute. Think well, let's start talking and see what happens. Next, and I do mean THE next time I see her she's got her guy along with her.

I'm going, why did the universe even allow me to meet this person then if I can't even make a move? It's like a recurring dream to me. I have never been able to understand this. Why am I only seeing what I can't have? Where are those I can approach? It's as if the truly available women hide as soon as I come along. If there's more than a touch of bitterness in this tough shit. That's the way I feel. I don't need to see this time and time again. There's something I'm missing to not see those who want me. There's another lesson in life I need to learn here but I have not the foggiest clue as to what it is. All I know is everyday my expectations go up.

The world doesn't teach guys like me about stuff like this. We're made to stumble through life and wonder when is it our turn? Do not ever tell me someday. Please don't.
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Posted by Wapsie B in The DU Lounge
Thu Aug 23rd 2007, 08:06 PM
I am finding a real aversion to that word. It'll happen someday I'm told. But tomorrow never comes, and this elusive someday is just another undefined time beyond the horizon. I've got the patience of Job but it's wearing thin. It's not like I started this yesterday. I've been told that maybe my expectations are too high, that no one or nothing would be able to live up to them. Well I gotta tell ya that with each passing day those expectations are not only not lowered they are raised. My thinking is that well, I've waited this long, my reward for doing so must be more than worth the wait.

I hate the word someday.
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Posted by Wapsie B in The DU Lounge
Wed Aug 22nd 2007, 10:00 AM
They could be from family,friends,teachers, co-workers, or anyone really. I seem to draw a blank on words of wisdom coming my way; positive ones anyway. Beyond the usual "stop eating" and "lose weight," I can't really remember any words of guidance along the way. I know it's much easier to focus on the negative. My mindset is probably such that I've blocked out those instances where a nugget of truth and guidance was forthcoming from others.


No one ever told me to have fun; at least that I remember anyway.
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Posted by Wapsie B in The DU Lounge
Mon Aug 20th 2007, 08:16 PM

Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

There are some millionaires
With money they can't use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues
They've got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Now if you listen closely
I'll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
'Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Maya Angelou
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Posted by Wapsie B in The DU Lounge
Sun Jul 22nd 2007, 11:52 AM


I went to an a party last night. There's a club in the area that was having one of their monthly get-togethers at an area bar. In the spirit of wanting to get out of myself regularly coupled with my curiousity getting the better of me I decided to go.

There was a potluck dinner where everyone brought a side dish for the meal. Not knowing one single soul there I really had to pump myself up to even go. I actually did not have high expectations at all about the evening. It was a group of people who didn't know me at all, so realistically I knew that as a single guy there was little chance of me breaking that barrier. I wanted to get out and meet others. Most importantly, I went there thinking that I would at least meet a new friend.

Well, let me tell you, it was a failure on all counts. Except for giving myself props for having the guts to wander into a group of total strangers and attempt to have some kind of friendly interaction I have never had such an icy cold reception. The hostess was pleasant enough when I talked to her, but she was friends with everyone else and spent most of the time with others. Everyone knew everyone else and it was one big clique, the biggest clique I've been around in a long time. There was not one person who made me feel welcome, who made me feel like they wanted me to even be there.

There was a couple of women who crashed the party. They must've heard about the party from someone at the bar and were driving around the place deciding whether or not to come in. As you can guess they were absolutely drooled over. People were coming up to them, introducing themselves and trying to warm up to them. It was like I was invisible. So after awhile I just left.

I found myself amongst people who did not want me in their little group. I knew that as a single guy it's hard to find enough women to go around at parties much of the time. But this one had a much more favorable ratio of males to females. Not many single guys however although there were a few besides me. The others though were already part of that circle of friends. There was no need for someone like me there. In fact, my soft-spoken demeanor came across as a weakness to the faux-alpha males (and females) there. I could feel that. Outside looking in again. But hey I tried.

Very very cold group to outsiders. But I figure it's like meeting someone on the first date. If you don't click you get up and leave. Well nothing clicked here. Nothing at all.

There's really nothing new about not being comfortable in the bar scene, private party or not. My inability to interact well in bars with others I didn't know led me to beat myself up for years. I thought that was the best if not the only way real guys met women; over drinks at parties or clubs. I saw people enjoying themselves there and wondered why I couldn't do the same thing. It tore me up to see people really having fun, dancing and groping, making out, whatever........and I'd always go home alone.

I've had this distorted view of dating for a long time. Logically I know there are other places to meet women. But emotionally I thought that parties were the man's way of attracting a female. So last night I finally learned a valuable lesson, that the bar scene ain't worth a pinch of shit to me. Just please spare me the responses about how so many of you never met anyone at a bar or club or party. Just please don't.
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Posted by Wapsie B in The DU Lounge
Sat May 12th 2007, 04:04 AM
their first words are nice and sweet, is there any sexual attraction there? I say no. Can there be?
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Posted by Wapsie B in Astrology, Spirituality & Alternative Healing Group
Fri May 11th 2007, 01:04 PM
There are the things you know you know, Bob. There are the things you know you don't know. And then there are the things you don't know you don't know. Case in point: Your dreams, how they're going to come true, and the inevitability of your eternal joy.

The Universe


I had it explained to me like this by a college prof:

There are 3 types of people in the world:

1.There are cats who know they know.

2. There are cats who know they don't know.

3. There are cats who don't know they don't know!



(Prof was a jazz musician)
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