And it's because no one knows how to talk to one another anymore. It's like banging two bricks against my head each time I read a thread. The patterns of insults, rants, name-calling, and other puerile exchanges have grown predictable and stale. I'm left thirsty for a bit of intellectual stimulation. It's like watching WWF wrestling, waiting for a meaningful, unscripted contest. After Hulk Hogan pins Rowdy Roddy Piper to the ground for the umpteenth time, that little voice in my head screams, "Learn how to TALK to one another, for God's sake! You bore me. Find a new tactic, would ya?"

If GD/GDP were visual, I imagine a pictorial exchange of curled tongues protruding from lips, butt shots (my humblest apologies to GoPsUx), and the periodic snarky titty. Yes, you guessed it, it's a Twenty-First Century Benny Hill for the Internet. We continue this pattern of droll behavior as if people never change. As if we'll always find our discourse stuck between Romper Room and Pee Wee's Playhouse instead of attempting something, oh, a bit more enlightened.

So... is this it, folks? Is this all we can offer each other? I cry for a little stimulus. Spare a little, Mister, please!

I can't even find the fire-burning passion for a good flame war anymore. It's just so fucking boring. When I see a bit of smoke, I can only roll my eyes. "Here we go. Insult number one," I think. It's simply meaningless. As if water will dilute oil somehow, the argument never reaches transcendence, and I start searching for my copy of Kant. We're all people, after all, and I embrace the difference of opinion. After a few rounds of snippage, I find myself hugging the lactivists, Olive Garden aficionados, the guys that like foreskins, and other tiger pit opponents. Why, I ask, why?

So, hey, look, GD and GDP, I'm not learning anything from you, all right? I'm bored. Like, pluckmyhairoutonebyone bored. Just a little enlightened speech, would you mind, please? I think it will do all of us a bit of good.


~Writer, Dousing Herself with Gasoline as you read this~