In the Bible, Jesus is asked how many times to forgive--seven times? No, seventy times seven. In the Islamic tradition, five of the 99 Names of God deal directly with different aspects of forgiveness. Forgiveness is obviously viewed as important by these two faiths.

I recently had the opportunity to put this practice into action, and I can say that, for me, the act of forgiveness has been truly liberating, both emotionally and spiritually. So I'd like to share my story, in hopes that it will help those of you, whether believers or not, who have problems with those who have done things to you for which you have been deeply hurt.

My mother died a few days ago. Before she did, I gave her a rose. I told her I loved her, and thanked her for all she had done. All. She had emotionally abused her children, and yes, it left scars on us. I used recall events that happened decades ago, and all the pain and hurt was still there. But I recently decided to look at life a different way. Those sad times help create the person I am today, loved, respected, a person trusted and valued by the community. Those times also gave me a long and close spiritual relationship with That which is all things. And so I could see how I could be thankful. And I could tell her I loved her. And, later, as I watched vigil over her dying body, I could say "I forgive you." I thus made the forgiveness complete, I feel: it was more than just words, it was a release and also an appreciation for the difficult role she played in my life.

Since that time, I have felt a peace and lightness within that I hadn't felt before. I hadn't realized how the resentments and hurts and fear I had stored within had poisoned myself until I let them all go. And the love that I had always truly felt for the woman who had brought me my life was fully expressed. For those of a spiritual bent, I feel that by doing this I released my mother in some way, so that she could journey on and not be held back by regrets of actions done in this life.

I was there when she breathed her last, and I officiated at her memorial, which people came up and told me was filled with joy. I am still processing the event--but when I think back on those difficult times, ones that used to elicit anger, fear, and sorrow, they are but interesting dreams with no emotional hold on me.

It is because of this incredible change that I write. For those who would disparage, I can only say try it for yourself. Forgiveness does not have to have a spiritual context. And if it doesn't work, nothing has been lost. But if it does--ah, the difference!

Thank you mom, for everything you did. I love you, and I forgive you.

Please remember to forgive yourself.