i was in LA when the Simi Valley jury came back with acquittals for the policemen who had beaten Rodney King to a pulp. i knew it was about race, and that it was racism. and on that afternoon, almost nine months pregnant, knowing my city was about to erupt in a very ugly way, i made a decision. i would never again claim, "i am not a racist." because i knew that if asked every one of those jurors would claim, "i'm not a racist," but their decision was clearly racist, which meant that their denials were lies, even if they were lies they believed themselves.

my mother used to make the same claim. "i'm not a racist, i just think they should stay in their place and we should stay in ours. i'm not a racist, but if you marry a black man i will disown you."

i deplore racism. i have done my level best to raise my children to not so engage. but i will never claim, "i am not a racist," because what if i am? if i can plainly see that so many people who are racists cannot recognize it in themselves, i cannot be content that it might not be me as well. and my personal belief is that this insidious, veiled racism that refuses to acknowledge itself is perhaps the most dangerous form of racism of all. because it is infectious and it masquerades as reason, and because it goes unacknowledged and unrecognized, it's like a bacteria or a cancer, multiplying and growing unchecked.

thank you for an important post. i believe that many here on DU might gain from reading it, and i hope so. i know i have.