i still say no. if the question had been "are you a responsible citizen?" i would have said yes. worded as it is, "responsible for the deaths caused by these wars" - i cannot unlink that statement from guilt. my daughter was killed, and the person who was "responsible" for her death was and remains guilty indeed.

i might have responded that i am responsible in this context if i had voted for gw and supported the wars but i never did, ever. i am responsible in the sense that being part of a government of, for, and by the people means we all have a responsibility to vote and to the extent we are able, to engage in the workings of that democracy. but i'm not sure that is even a matter of opinion.

you say my doing what i can "makes a HUGE difference." i only wish! i only wish.

when i was still living in CA i went into the CYA to teach victim impact classes to youthful offenders. that's not cover your ass, it's the California Youth Authority, and the people with whom i interacted were guilty of the most egregious crimes. most of them were gang members. at least there i could look into their eyes and with some of them see that there was still a spark of humanity within them, that possibly i could reach. that possibly somewhere down the line, there would be one less victim because of the work i had done. that was satisfying.

but these days, and with these wars, nothing i do seems to make a single whit of difference. i am astonished to note that this has been going on for over eight years! i have to make a living and i'm tired. i keep writing and i keep calling and i keep signing petitions but it seems as if the only people who can get in the same room with the people who are making the decisions are the bankers, the MIC, and the corporate lobbyists. (people guilty of the most egregious crimes imo)

i do strive to stay engaged in spite of this nearly hopeless perception i have. i feel anguished because these wars our country won't quit remind me so much of vietnam and iirc, popular sentiment against the war did not rise until some 30,000 americans had died over there. then finally the people took to the streets and the lawmakers understood that they had to end it, and the number of american dead still almost doubled before they finally did. will it take 50 to 60 thousand american dead to stop these senseless wars? i'm afraid that it may. at this point i feel responsible enough to do eveything in my power to ensure that my son and grandchildren don't end up among the dead.

that's not even touching on the innocents whose lives are destroyed or ended in foreign countries because of the aggression of the US. nor on the maimed and injured americans, nor on those whose psyches have and will sustain irreparable damage, effectively ruining their chances for a happy and fulfilled life.

i guess it boils down to semantics, and my saying "no" absolves me of nothing. i can say that when the people finally do get together to change the status quo i will then know i have done my part. i knew bush would throw a war before he ever took office, and have been steadfastly and vocally against the wars to this day. eventually i suppose the losses will rise to numbers higher than the majority of americans will countenance, and finally these travesties will end. no telling what happens then. no way to really affect it either. at least that's how it feels.