So John McCain has apparently decided to woo Hillary Clinton's female supporters by insulting them -- and her.

Choosing the anti-choice, ultraconservative Sarah Palin as his VP candidate and expecting her to be an adequate substitute for their candidate says to them, "What??!?!?!? She doesn't have a penis. What more could you c**ts possibly want fercryinoutloud?????"

It says of Senator Clinton that her principles and policies are irrelevant - that the only significant information we need to know about her is what's between her legs.

Hillary wasn't my choice for President, but she deserves more respect than that, as do women in general. One of the truest things Obama said about McBush last night was that he just doesn't get it.

The first time I voted, it was a little like stepping into a scene from the Wizard of Oz.

I went down the steps to the basement of the grammar school and there they were - rows of booths, each about twice the size of a phone booth, with long curtains hanging in front of them. I got to the front of the line and eventually the gentleman who voted ahead of me lifted the long lever on his booth to open the curtain, stepping out and revealing a somewhat fantastical looking machine



In my head, a voice boomed, "Don't look behind the curtain!" Nervous already, I had to suppress a giggle, afraid the stern looking election judges, one of whom had a suspiciously pointy nose and chin, would send me packing as someone obviously too young and green for such an adult endeavor.

I stepped into the booth and pulled down the lever, closing the curtain. On the machine, there were rows of names, each with a small brass lever below it.



I thought I'd start with my alderman, get some practice in before I moved on up to the mayor and, eventually, the President himself.

When I pulled down the little lever under my candidate's name, it made a small but satisfying clacking sound. Eyeballing the other two candidates' levers, I decided not to take any chances and nudged them slightly to make sure they were snugly in the upward position just to be sure.

So far so good. I moved on to the mayoral race and then held my breath as I ticked down the lever that cast my vote for the leader of the free world. It felt like an enormous, awesome responsibility. The winner of this election was going to have to make such hard and heavy decisions about Viet Nam, the Cold War, civil rights that it hardly seemed fair to call him a "winner."

All my levers in place, I reviewed them a half dozen times to be absolutely, positively, 100%, no doubt about it sure I had done it right. Then I raised the giant lever that opened the curtain and finalized my vote.

It was official. I was an adult. I had participated. My voice would be heard.

I know it sounds corny, but cue the violins because I felt a little thrill. I felt part of something bigger than I was, something that was essentially good. From then on, forever more, I was at the table. My opinions mattered.

For the rest of the day, I managed to work the fact that I had voted into every conversation. I tried saying it casually, "Oh, yeah, I saw the cutest little dog over on Grace street when I went to vote." I tried saying it smugly, "Well, of course, I voted." I even took Good Citizen Me for a spin, "Have you voted? Can I watch the kids for you while you go down to vote?" I watched the election returns on TV until I fell asleep on the floor, then got the good news/bad news in the morning. My alderman won, the mayor was going to be the same mayor we'd had since I could remember, the wrong guy was going to be President. And I still felt a little bit of a thrill.

And that's why I've voted in every election for more than 30 years since then - and why I'm going to vote on November 7. Because some of my candidates win and some lose, but whether they win or lose, I still feel that little thrill. I'm still part of something bigger than I am. And though it's gone off course of late, it's still essentially good and we can fix it. I'm still at the table. My opinion still matters.

Yeah, okay, I know - we all would rather this had happened with the Dems in office. Hell, I don't think any of us thought any of it could happen unless the Dems were in office.

But let's be good sports, now, and find it within ourselves to celebrate:

The national debt is disappearing as I type this.

All Americans are fully covered with comprehensive health coverage.

Wind Farms and Solar generators are popping up all over the country to end our dependence on oil. And in the meantime, oil companies are being brought up on federal price gouging charges.

All of us, regardless of race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation have full and free civil rights and liberties.

The air and water is getting so clean, you can't even get sick from smoking.

The earth's temperature has gone down a degree.

An amendment to the Constitution has passed requiring paper trails and mandatory 100% recounts in all elections.

Homelessness and unemployment are so rare, younger DUers can't believe they were ever a real problem.

High school graduation rates are approaching 100% and all of them can read. Most of them are going on to federally funded college educations after spending a year in a VISTA type program.

Americans are no longer being spied upon by their government and there are no longer terrorists - homegrown or imported - to use in attempting to justify said spying.

Our standing in the rest of the world has been restored and we no longer need to pretend we’re Canadians when we travel.

I just can't figure out why I don't see any of this wonderful news being trumpeted at any news sources. Hell, I wouldn't know it either, if I hadn't figured it out for myself.

But it must be true. All the important problems must be fixed. If they weren't, our duly elected leaders in Congress would never be so desperate for something to do that they'd take to wasting taxpayer time and money on a non-issue like this:

The first American AIDS case was diagnosed. We didn't know what caused it or how it was spread. All we knew was it was killing people - mostly gays and Haitians. There were no AIDS rides, no marathon runners with sponsors pledging $10/mile for research. Just fear and confusion and abysmal neglect. After all, it wasn't killing "regular" people or anything.

At the time, I worked for a mid-sized company at which most of the employees were gay. As more and more cases of the "gay cancer" were diagnosed, we all became more and more frightened.

One by one, they got sick, lost weight, and died. The owner's assistant. The nice guy in marketing everyone liked. That kid in the mail room.

We worried if a friend looked thinner than he did last week. We went into a near panic if we thought we spotted a new mole.

To cope with the fear and uncertainty, there was gallows humor. My beloved friend, Jack, came to my office one day. "Hey, you know what the hardest part of having AIDS is?" "Puking on your boss's shoe?" "No, it's trying to convince your parents that you're Haitian."

Jack's dark joke spoke volumes. About how ignorance and hatred were revealed and magnified in the face of what had become an epidemic. About the ugliness visited upon the victims.

A year later, Jack was dead. None of us were allowed to attend his funeral because his parents were afraid we'd say something and their neighbors would learn he was gay.

We had our own memorial service for him. We told the truth about him. We told him one last time how much we loved him. I love him and miss him still.

And one by one, they got sick, lost weight, and died.

If AIDS had first come to the United States via a straight, white, Republican male, things would have been vastly different. There would have been a mad rush to find a cure instead of the long, slow, agonizing, death march of the eighties.

The battle against AIDS is yet to be won, though progress has been made. The battle against ignorance and hatred is not going quite so well. On this, the day marking 25 years of AIDS, George W. Bush made a speech supporting a Constitutional Amendment outlawing gay marriage.

Common sense tells you that monitoring telephone calls - whether recording the content or just gathering data on numbers called - is not about terrorism. It's about using terrorism as an excuse for spying on American citizens.

I'm not an international superspy. I'm not an agent provocateur. I'm not a private detective, a supergeek hacker, a sophisticated electronics whizz, or a telecommunications expert. I'm a middle-aged woman living on a farm in America's heartland.

Just to establish my complete lack of any arcane expertise in the area of how to subvert the system when it comes to tracking or tapping my phone calls, dontcha know.

In 2001, The Patriot Act was passed. For the first time, the government was allowed to assign a wiretap to a person rather than a telephone number. My instant reaction to this was that it was a great way to track the average citizen and a lousy way to track terrorists.

We've had the same land line phone number for 15 years (listed in the phone book), the same cell numbers for 6 years, I work at home and the husband's work phone number is easily obtained from tax, social security, credit agency, and payroll records. So if the NSA or any other arm of the government wants to spy on us, just get that short list of numbers and you're set. (Get some Vivarin, too, because our conversations are going to put you to sleep pretty quickly and you might miss the part where we plot the overthrow of BushCo by campaigning for Democrats)

If I was up to something, would I be using any of those numbers to plot and plan? Hell, no! I'd go to the discount store where I can buy a Tracfone and use that. No ID required to activate and these days, you can pick one up for $20. Use it a couple of times and toss it.

If I know that, don't you think the terrorists know it?

More recently, we learned that several of the major telephone companies have turned over complete calling records to the NSA. No, no, no, it's all good, said the sad excuse for a man who lives in the White House these days, just looking for patterns that indicate an incipient attack. Nothing for you to worrry about, little lady.

"The privacy of ordinary Americans is fiercely protected in all our activities," Bush said in a statement he read to reporters at the White House. "Our efforts are focused on links to al Qaeda and their known affiliates."

Yeah, sure, because I know about disposable cell phones, but al Qaeda, an organization clever enough to plan and execute the events of 9/11, hasn't figured that one out yet.

Now reporters have been told their cell phones calls are being tracked. National security, you know. Gotta find the leakers(aka whistleblowers). Danger! Danger! 9/11! 9/11! 9/11!

Super secret, ultrageek link for whistleblowers. Call it my gift to democracy:
http://www.tracfone.com/home_page.jsp?b=n&...

57% Americans have had sex outdoors or in a public place
53% think corked bats are a worse method of cheating at baseball than steroids
49% believe that if a woman was a superhero and all her powers lay in her hair, she'd be a redhead
37% believe intelligent beings from another planet have contacted the US government.
29% believe George W. Bush is doing an excellent or pretty good job as president.