I went to an a party last night. There's a club in the area that was having one of their monthly get-togethers at an area bar. In the spirit of wanting to get out of myself regularly coupled with my curiousity getting the better of me I decided to go.

There was a potluck dinner where everyone brought a side dish for the meal. Not knowing one single soul there I really had to pump myself up to even go. I actually did not have high expectations at all about the evening. It was a group of people who didn't know me at all, so realistically I knew that as a single guy there was little chance of me breaking that barrier. I wanted to get out and meet others. Most importantly, I went there thinking that I would at least meet a new friend.

Well, let me tell you, it was a failure on all counts. Except for giving myself props for having the guts to wander into a group of total strangers and attempt to have some kind of friendly interaction I have never had such an icy cold reception. The hostess was pleasant enough when I talked to her, but she was friends with everyone else and spent most of the time with others. Everyone knew everyone else and it was one big clique, the biggest clique I've been around in a long time. There was not one person who made me feel welcome, who made me feel like they wanted me to even be there.

There was a couple of women who crashed the party. They must've heard about the party from someone at the bar and were driving around the place deciding whether or not to come in. As you can guess they were absolutely drooled over. People were coming up to them, introducing themselves and trying to warm up to them. It was like I was invisible. So after awhile I just left.

I found myself amongst people who did not want me in their little group. I knew that as a single guy it's hard to find enough women to go around at parties much of the time. But this one had a much more favorable ratio of males to females. Not many single guys however although there were a few besides me. The others though were already part of that circle of friends. There was no need for someone like me there. In fact, my soft-spoken demeanor came across as a weakness to the faux-alpha males (and females) there. I could feel that. Outside looking in again. But hey I tried.

Very very cold group to outsiders. But I figure it's like meeting someone on the first date. If you don't click you get up and leave. Well nothing clicked here. Nothing at all.

There's really nothing new about not being comfortable in the bar scene, private party or not. My inability to interact well in bars with others I didn't know led me to beat myself up for years. I thought that was the best if not the only way real guys met women; over drinks at parties or clubs. I saw people enjoying themselves there and wondered why I couldn't do the same thing. It tore me up to see people really having fun, dancing and groping, making out, whatever........and I'd always go home alone.

I've had this distorted view of dating for a long time. Logically I know there are other places to meet women. But emotionally I thought that parties were the man's way of attracting a female. So last night I finally learned a valuable lesson, that the bar scene ain't worth a pinch of shit to me. Just please spare me the responses about how so many of you never met anyone at a bar or club or party. Just please don't.