I was filled with loathing for the man this evening, so I thought it might be fun to graft an image of his face onto the body of a chimp. I found a photo of the bush-man easily enough, but when I started looking at chimp pictures I was quite frankly struck by the variety of expressions shown in their faces - thoughtfulness, affection, humor, intelligence - and ultimately I couldn't bear to deface a chimp's body by grafting onto it the face of that smirking buffoon we call president. So to all of the chimpanzees in the world, especially those who might be reading this post, I would like to issue an apology: I will never again insult your species by comparing our president to you.

It occurs to me that one of the reasons why we as a nation are in the terrible state in which we find ourselves is because collectively, as a people, we seem to have lost sight of the meaning of our Constitution - in particular, the Bill of Rights. Maybe one of the reasons people don't seem to be alarmed about torturing prisoners, or electronic eavesdropping without probable cause, or for that matter, declaring marriage throughout the land as strictly a male-female union, is because people don't really understand that these things are just plain unconstitutional. I propose that every school in the country be required to post a copy of the Bill of Rights in a prominent place within the school, and that every schoolchild be required to memorize it. This is hardly a revolutionary idea, but I wonder if there'd be any flak from the Ten Commandments crowd? Any bets?