Out of all the people I ran with, for the 20 years I was out there I am the only one left.

Ruben shot dead at 17 over some smack deal gone bad while his girlfriend watched in 1969..

Jerry OD'ed in 1970.

Danny D suicide in 74.

Corey doing life without parole for murder, a drug deal gone bad.

John Henry found dead in the bathroom of the Mount Hood lodge where he was on a break from playing music for a wedding reception..1982

Steve found sitting in a chair with a needle still in his arm....1983.

Mac dead of cirrosis 1983.

Paul drug a barbecue into his front room and smoked himself to death rather than go back to the joint. 1985...

I sobered up because it wasn't killing me fast enough and nothing I took could kill the pain of being alive with the knowlege of what I turned into.

If you are struggling with it, know you aren't alone.

90 meetings in 90 days

Get a sponsor, work the steps,

That's all I know.

Cheers.