after surprise visit.

In an abrupt about face, no doubt based on being spurned by his own party, the President, visibly upset, and screaming at his own staff, demanded he be flown to a secret meeting being held by Republican Leadership. Marine One was armed with laser cannons and was seen shortly thereafter flying to a location in Northern Maryland. Upon arriving at the scene, witnesses report the President, who was hanging on to the bottom rail of the helicopter, lept free with at least fifteen feet left to descend, and tore off his shirt, leaving on only belts of ammunition, assault weapons, and a trenchcoat.

He then proceeded to enter the complex, pulling out of his trenchcoat several more automatic weapons he had only a few days previously declared "dangerous and ill advised".

Shots rang out shortly after the President entered the complex and screamed "Can we pass legislation without 60 votes??!!!11, YES WE CAN!!@!!"

The scenes that followed were chaotic, with some reporting Mitch McConnell dove for cover but hit his turtle-shaped head on a desk, knocking himself unconscious. John Boehner reportedly hid behind Eric Cantor who reportedly hid behind incoming Senator Rand Paul, who was already hidden under Mitch McConnell.

The President then mercilessly slaughtered the entire Republican leadership and was seen feasting on their entrails by overhead MSNNBC helicopters.

Victorious against the party of no, the President was last heard screaming "I'm still going to Govern from the middle, you sons of bitches.... THE MIDDLE OF JOHN BOEHNER'S COLD DEAD BODY"

More on this developing story as bizarro world turns.