I was aware of the symptoms I was having. I didn't know what it was, I just thought I was going crazy. After going through years of medication (of which I still take and I'm 48 now), counseling, and other hospitalizations along the way, I realize how lucky I have been. I thought my son was evil; however, I made sure I was never, EVER left alone with him. I was scared of him. I was so afraid I was going to hurt him, I scared myself, and that is what made me go from doctor to doctor. Finally, I went to a mental health facility and the healing began.

When I stood over a 6-week-old infant's bassinet screaming at him to SHUT-UP, I knew I needed help. I started having thoughts that he was brought here to torment me. That is why the baby constantly got on my nerves. Plus I was so tired, run down physically, and 18 years old. No excuse to do what I did; however, I still regret doing that to this day.