Avoid heavily populated areas, stock up on non-perishables and weaponry. Remember to include melee weapons in your weaponry cache, such as baseball and cricket bats, or crow bars. And most importantly, listen to lots of Converge and other such bands to maintain intensity when battling the hoards.
"Parents need not freak, as Meyer's tale is by and large chaste, its backbone Edward's repression of his thirst for blood, which serves as a blunt metaphor for carnal impulses and, consequently, establishes the entire affair as a saga of self-inflicted vampiric blue balls."
"If Edward, despite his youthful body, is in reality a 108-year-old man, then his lustful wooing of an actual high-school junior makes him, for all intents and purposes, a borderline statutory rapist and all around dirty old perv. Your move, Anne Rice!"
And this creepy middle-aged dude in a red pick-up truck pulled up beside me and asked me if I wanted to "have some fun." I'm not sure what "some fun" entails, but something tells me he didn't want to play Guitar Hero. Creeeeepyyyyyyyyy.
I think I actually posted these before, but they're fucking awesome and I felt like making a copycat thread. (Though I should warn you that they're probably not safe for work, children or anyone who doesn't like weird shit.)
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