I posted recently that my two male cats were acting strangely. They were sleeping VERY close to each other, in fact they would lie touching in a manner that drove those two sinners, Bert and Ernie to move into separate quarters after all those rumors of the couple were in fact, gay. My cats lick each other and do other 'non-male' activities. I tried counseling them but to no avail.

I thought of trying to separate the two but they are ruining the trim trying to get at each other so that they may torture me further with gay cat sex.

Recently the older male has taken to performing, I hate to say this as I feel so let down as a parent, sex on the younger one. I don't think there has been actual penetration but their actions lead me to believe this may happen while I am asleep.

My holy book says I must now put to death both cats. I am wondering how I might do this, at least humanely. Passages in the BOOK mention certain methods that will fulfill God's commandment fo acts of this sort but is generally left to those who witness these acts.

I will miss these cats as I can remember the good times with them. But I feel my grief will not last long as I can take solace in the fact that I am doing my God's work and desires.

I ask DU members how I might do this terrible act so I won't be thought of by those not in my congregation as another Michael Vick.

Please hurry as the weather is warming and the cats will soon be outside more. They will be doing this unholy act in public and there are a lot of younger and impressionable children who might witness this unnatural act and be drawn into the gay agenda.

Please hurry.